To Admire the Sinful
by Yellow kiwi
Summary: Sequel to 'To adore the Hellish'. Will getting back together with Gaara only cause the same problems Naruto had to deal with in high school? Oh no, these problems are on a much bigger and public scale! GaaraNaru yaoi
1. The punk in the Cafe

Chapter one: The punk in the Café

**Gaara's POV**

_When Naruto had begged to come see me, a part of me didn't want to face him. I was at a lose to what I would do what I would say, if he came. But I couldn't deny him his wish, and I did agree to let him come see me._

"_I'm so sorry," It is the first thing he whispers to me. And that sadness that I see in his eyes, it causes something within me to ache. It is unlike that sadness that for so long intrigued me, and kept me from pushing him away completely, in our earlier one-sided relationship._

"_Don't cry…" I mutter to him, as I see tears threatening to spill from his crystal eyes. All this time he was afraid he would bring me bad luck, but he's involved himself with me. Possibly it would have been better if I did push him away. Because seeing him like this, it's causing so many emotions to build up within me. The most that I've ever felt in my entire life, and I don't think I can handle it. So I try to shut them out, I try to ignore them, because I don't want to deal with them. They are too much, they are to confusing, to cluttered._

"_I should have never come here…. it's all my fault."_

"_No it's not, don't worry about it," I say in all honesty, not wanting him to blame himself._

"_You always tell me not to worry! I can't help it!," He yells at me. "We won't see each other anymore….how can I not worry." He adds in a much more subdued tone. I tell him not to worry, because he over reacts. He lets his emotions take him over, and yet..it's not a bad thing. It's almost amazing seeing him like this, but it causes me pain at the same time. I say nothing, I don't know what to say. Instead I reach for his tanned hand. Possibly I can give him some sort of comfort this way. I lead him down the street my feet moving at a slow pace. Out of the corner of my eye I see him wipe the tears from his face. Again a sinking feeling comes over me, and I push it aside, keeping my calm. I squeeze Naruto's hand out of reflex, as I push down my thoughts to keep my composure._

_We stop in front of my home, and I take a seat on the steps. Naruto lets himself drop next to me, letting his body scoot closer; I do not mind the action._

"_Isn't there anything you can do? Anything we can do?" He asks desperately. I do not know what to tell him, I have no hope to give. "You don't deserve to be sent away…you're dad is a jerk…"_

"_But he's my guardian until I'm eighteen," I say pointing out the reality._

"_But…can't you run away. I mean right now, we could just leave, and never turn back."_

_I fold my hands together, and look out into the street before turning to my muse. "I've tired. I wanted to." I say honestly._

"_So? We can do it now, it's not like there's anyone to stop you."_

"_Naruto, I don't want to ruin your life," I mumble out. After taking the time to think about it, after Kankuro stopped me. It seemed foolish...pointless._

"_How would you be ruining my life?"_

"_If we were to run away…what sort of life would be waiting for us? We both probably wouldn't be able to finish school, and it would be hard for use to find jobs. I had wanted to leave…but my brother stopped me…he made a lot of sense…I don't think we could make it."_

_Naruto glares at me intensely, but then his expression softens. "Yeah I guess you're right. I'm sorry I must just be adding more stress ontop of your situation with talk like this. I'm sorry for fucking shit up."_

"_I said it's not your fault…I'm glad you came to see me. …I'm glade I met you…" I explain keeping my eyes away from the sight of his face._

"_Don't talk like that…you're making it sound like you're breaking up with me," Naruto pleads with me, holding on to my arm. How can he hold on so tightly? What have I ever done to keep him so interested in me, to keep him coming back? I've become attached to him…and he has become attached to me. But now, this attachment must be broken. There's no way we could hold on._

"_The life I'm going to be forced into, it will be strict and I'll be monitored. I won't be able to stay in contact with you," I explain, letting myself look at my nymph._

"_That's ok..it's all ok…I just…"_

"_Don't you think it would be better if we just…go our separate ways?" I ask._

"_What?! No! I mean…do you really want that?" No I don't, but it doesn't seem fair to him. I've never been so attached to anyone before. It's been so very long since I've decided to let myself enter into any sort of relationship with anyone._

_I shrug, "I feel….I know I love you…but it seems that everything is pulling us apart. There's no good solution…we're both to young… It wouldn't be fair to make you wait for me. I'm too much of an uncertainty. Wouldn't you like to find someone else?" I feel odd having those words leave me lips._

"_No! I'll wait, I want to. I just…I don't' want this to end. I've worked to damn hard to get you to talk to me!" He says letting a smile grace his lips, as if he needs it to protect himself. I look at him blankly._

_He continues to speak, "I don't' know…maybe it's being childish…and maybe it's just a mistake. But I feel like I can't just let it end, not like this. Not when it's not because one of is unhappy. I want to make you happy, I want to be that one person that you can think about and be sure that they love you. I don't want to abandon you, and I don't want you to leave me. I've been alone so long…since I was little and only recently have I been able to make friendships, and you… you're so much more. Which only makes it harder, I don't want this to end."_

"_But there's nothing we can do..."_

"_No not about you leaving but…" My hand reaches out to Naruto almost absentmindedly. But as I tilt his head back I realize I don't want him to speak anymore, it's all too much. We can't do anything, not now. I lean in slowly and capture his lips with my own._

_I pull away from him, and he lets out a whimper. "You're a strange little thing," I whisper. He looks into my eyes, and I feel something tugging at my lips. A smile, and I let him see it. I feel content…very content. Naruto graces me with a smile of his own, and then he wraps his arms around me resting his head on my shoulder. We stay like this for along time, and I feel warm. Then a thought comes to me._

"_Naruto?"_

"_Yes?" He whispers._

"_If you….if you are sure…Then I promise I will find you once I turn eighteen, I will seek you out."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_Then I'll wait,"_

My eyes flutter open, and I look around my bedroom. The sun is shining brightly through my curtains, and when I look at my clock I notice that it is almost noon. I get out of my bed, still suffering from jet lag. For now I'm on a much needed vacation. Unexpected turns in my life have lead to my delay in that promise. I wonder …is Naruto still waiting? I wouldn't be surprised if he's not, if he's given up on me. However I'm going to find him, I wish to. Because though many good things have happened to me…I also feel hallow and empty. I am just like I was before I met Naruto.

Those years I spent in military school…I isolated myself from everyone. I was disliked yet again, and rumors about me left others lips. I didn't cause trouble however, and my instructors were quite indifferent about me. They ignored me, and it didn't bother me. I had no time to draw, and hardly any inspiration at that.

However once I graduated, and my father told me to leave and never speak to him again, I took a hold of my own life. I never wanted to see my father again, nor my brother. My sister I could handle. I took out student loans, and enrolled in art school, wanting to get out some of what was built up inside me. My work was far from magnificent…or so I thought. Something was missing…my muse. However I did continue to draw, and study, occasionally doing odd jobs, and working part time to put myself through school.

But now, money is no longer a problem. All I'm worried about is finding Naruto.

I finish dressing myself, and head downstairs to the parking lot. Where is it that I should start? I haven't the slightest idea. But I have to start...my time as been wasted enough. Naruto, I hope is still waiting. And though I've seemed to have 'killed' every relationship I've ever had, I do not want this one to die. Because I let myself be attached to him…and I do not regret it.

I get onto my motorcycle, and knowing no other place to start, I head back to where it all began. Konoha Greens, all boys school.

**Naruto's POV**

"Studying for your test in American history?" Hinata—a girl who's in my economics class—asks me. I turn to face the purple eyed girl with a smile.

"Yup, wanna keep up my C average after all." The black haired girl lets out a slight giggle, and sits down next to my rather shyly.

"Um…Naruto…Well, there's going to be a…what I mean is, Ino's going out on a date tomorrow. But she doesn't want to go alone…she asked me to double date with her."

"You're not comfortable with it?" I ask her seeing as she starts to shake and blush.

"Well…not that…I don't' have a date…"

"Oh."

She fumbles with the pages of her book, "Would you….be..be…my date?"

Well I didn't see that coming. I stare at her for along time, before laughing. Which causes Hinata to wince and she slowly gets to her feet, her cheeks completely red. "Hinata wait, hold on," I say trying to stifle my laughter.

"I'm not laughing at you. I'd love to go out on a date with you, but I'm gay. Ontop of that Ino knows I'm gay," I tell the big eyed girl. Her blush only becomes deeper.

"Oh…I didn't know…" she mumbles hiding behind her book.

"Maybe you can ask Kiba," I offer her with a wink. "He talks about you all the time."

"Um…ok…can...can you tell him for me Naruto? Please?"

"Sure, I'll have him call your cell with his answer."

"Thank you Naruto," she says with a light smile.

I look at my watch and get to my feet suddenly. "Oh shit. Sorry Hinata can't stay and chat, I'm going to be late for work."

"Ok…good luck on your test tomorrow," she says, and I thank her before taking off.

I rush out of the library, ignoring the Liberian when she tells me no running. I head up to my dorm, and burst threw the door, causing Kiba to jump five feet in the air.

"What the hell man!"

"Sorry late for work," I say stripping of my jeans, not even bothering to close the door.

"Close the door, people will get the wrong idea," Kiba mutters.

"Oh Kiba if I were giving you s strip tease it would be much sexier believe me," I tease my friend while pulling on my black work slacks. "Oh Hinata's looking for a date, I recommended you."

"Really?!" I nod my head. Kiba keeps a grin on his face, before it falls. "Not that I really want to know about this but…have you been dating?"

I freeze for a moment, then I continue buttoning up my white collar shirt. "No…" I mutter.

"Naruto….don't you think it's time to move on?"

"No offense Kiba but you didn't agree with my relationship with Gaara to begin with, so I really don't want your input about it now," I snap at him being more then just a little defensive. After all this is a touchy subject. I'm nineteen…and still I've heard nothing from my red head.

"What relationship? If he ain't here with you, it's hardly a relationship."

"Shut up," I mumble out, taking my apron and bow tie, not bothering to put them on. I just want to get out of the room. Kiba…is still a little homophobic. He doesn't ask me about my love life, and he gets a little nervous when it comes to me changing clothes in front of him, or the other way around. I give him his space, and I've stopped taking his actions personal. He did after all volunteer to share a dorm with me, and I was happy to hear it. In high school, he had apologized to me, and we both came to an agreement that it would be best for our friendship if we avoided certain subject. Kiba just broke that rule. Because Gaara is one of the subjects we vowed never to bring up

"Naruto, you forgot your cell!" Kiba calls as I rush out the door, but I don't bother to go back for it. If some emergency comes up then they'll have to call at my work place.

I walk down the street, my work not being to far from the collage campus. I can't afford a car, or even a scooter. Shit I can barley afford my student loans! Iruka tried hard to get me the money for school, but in the end there was only enough to pay for my first year of education. I told him not to worry about it, and we looked into affordable student loans along with other ways of getting money for collage.

It's ok, I mean my job doesn't provide me with tons of money, but it's better then working at a fast food place. I open the door to the café I work in, the little silver bell hanging over the door frame ringing loudly.

I clock in, and a yell comes form across the café, "You're five minute late!"

"Sorry Sakura," I tell my pink haired co-worker, who's pretty anal about being on time.

"Hurry up we'll be opening soon, light the candles," she commands, and I give her an obedient nod. I take out the lighter and light all the bright red candles on every table. This café is pretty popular and a lot of the local collage students come here to have a good cup of coffee. Every so often a band will play, but usually we have poetry readings. It's a very relaxing atmosphere, with low lights, and of course candles for an extra cozy touch. I'm a waiter, and usually I run around a lot during the night, but at eleven I can call it a day and go on back to my dorm to either study or sleep. Tonight I'll probably be studying, since I have a major test in my U.S history class.

The night starts out busy. Tonight we have some local entertainment, a small underground band. I find myself singing along a little to the songs they play, as I severe coffee, cake and other things with a smile on my face. I get a few complements on my singing and I take them with a humble attitude. I can't help but let my mind drift to past events. Like the talent show in high school, and how much Gaara seemed to adore my singing. My smile drops for just a moment, but when someone calls for a waiter I turn around beaming. After all it's part of the job to look cheerful!

"Damn I need this break so bad," I groan out, plopping myself into a chair in the employee break room. I have another worker covering for me. But I am entitled to my fifteen minute break, and I'm planing on taking it. Sakura is across the table her nose in some magazine.

"This guy's so creepy," she mumbles out.

"Who?"

"Some artist…why do all artist look like murders?"

I can't help but grin, "Imaginative and artistic people are always weirdos," I chime. My little red head was a weirdo, and I'm sure he still is. I smile to myself a little, trying to fight away the depression that comes along with memories of Gaara. I wonder if he still remembers his promise…I don't care what Kiba says or thinks…I promised I'd wait. I can't very well give up on him just because he's a year late…right?

"Naruto?" Ino comes into the break room, with something in her hand. "A customer wanted me to give this too you.." she mumbles sounding a little creeped out. I raise an eyebrow and take the medium sized square. I turn it around, and see that it's a painting. My eyes widen.

"The person who gave this to you, how did they look?" I ask Ino.

"Really weird, pale as a sheet, circles around his eyes—"

"Is he still here?!" I ask excited, pushing her out of the way and heading for the door. Ino pulls me back roughly.

"Watch were you're going. Besides he left. I don't' think he thought you were working tonight. He came here once before asking about you…but it was your day off."

My lips curve up into a big grin, and I hug the picture to my chest. "He had red hair too didn't he?" I ask in a dreamy sort of voice.

"If you would have let me finish my description you would have found out. But yeah he did.." She eyes me suspiciously. "I'd be careful if I were you…someone like that asking about you. He maybe a stalker."

"A stalker I wouldn't mind having," I say.

"You're messed up," Ino says with a roll of her eyes, and steps out of the break room. I sit back down and take the time to look at the picture in more detail.

It's a light colored picture, with me as the centerpiece. I have pointed ears and the marks on my cheeks are bleeding along with a whole in my chest the shape of a heart. In my hand is a little person, and upon closer examination I note that said person is only half complete. One arm and one leg being skeletons, I hold the little person close to my heart…or were my heart would be if it weren't for the whole. I note that the little person in my hand also has red hair. I let out a lovesick sigh. Happiness washes over me.

"How romantic," I mumble to myself, but Sakura's ears pick up on it.

"Wha—" she stops as her eyes land upon my gift. "Oh my god Naruto!"

"What?" I ask staring at her bewildered.

"That painting!" She takes out her magazine and shows me the page she was reading. "That art style, it's just like Gaara Sabaku's!"

"Sabaku?" I look down at he magazine, and see a picture of a red head, resembling Gaara. He has an emotionless expression on his face, and his features seem more defined, more mature. His thin lips are pressed together in a line showing neither joy, nor displeasure, and from his bottom lip hangs a piercing. I almost melt in my seat. He's changed a little, but the years have been very kind to him.

"Why is there a magazine article about him?" I ask my pink haired co-worker.

"Naruto you really know nothing about the art world do you?"

"Nope!" I say cheerfully with a big grin.

"He's fucking rich!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, he's only in his second year of collage…well not collage like you, he's going to an art institute near by. Anyway, near the middle of the last school year he was discovered and hit it big. He started out doing odd jobs, says here, to help pay for his education. But then a lot of people liked his work, and he got better jobs. He's taken modeling pictures for famous gothic magazines, and cloths lines, such as "Gothic Lolita' in Japan!"

"You're kidding?" I say in amazement hardly believe what I'm hearing.

"It says it all right here. Actually this interview with him was conducted after he came back from Japan just a month ago. Anyway that's not all, he's also designed the covers of many gothic romance novels. Like "Lust of the night" and "Crimson moon."

"I've never heard of those."

"Sakura smirks suddenly. "You know...all those books were gay vampire romance novels, and the main character was always a blonde. He refuses to draw the covers for any books with no blondes in it." She rests her hand on her chin, and looks down at my painting.

"Do you know him?" She questions already having figured out the answer.

"Maybe," I drag out he word in a teasing manner.

"Oh my god you totally do!" she shrieks out in a girlie manner. "Could It be," she says in a poetic fashion as she points out a quote in the magazine, "That you're being talked about here," she clears her throat dramatically and starts to read. " 'I've enjoyed my experiences, and I do not intend on giving up on my art work, however I will be taking a vacation. Now that I have the means there is something I must do. A muse that I must find'. When asked if this muse was a past friend or lover, he didn't comment, he said it is nothing I wishes to make public. Oh Naruto don't lie! Why else would he send a picture to you!"

"Sakura you're acting like some fangirl. Didn't you say earlier that all artist look like weirdos?"

"Yeah they do, but he's still a really good artist! I mean look at some of the examples of his work they show here! It's fabulous! Both the paintings and photography!"

"Well I have to get back to work," I say getting up, Sakura tries to stop me but I quickly disappear. Hopefully the painting will be safe in the break room until my shift is over. I can't help but feel really bubbly. He didn't forget about me…but I wonder what took him so long. Did he put his art before me? No I can't start thinking like that…after all he said he was looking for his muse, and he refuses to paint anything without blondes in it. I'm still an important part of him. But that doesn't mean I'll let him off easy! After all he's a year late!

* * *

**A/N:** Lucky for you all, I got the sequel out early. And I couldn't help giving Gaara a lip piercing. I mean come on he would look so smexy with one (girlie scream). Please review, thanks! 


	2. Muse in a Gallery

Chapter 2: Muse in a Gallery

**Naruto's POV**

My cell phone rings in the middle of the professor's lecture. Hadn't I put it on vibrate? With a shy grin on my face, and I rush for the exit books in hand. It's no big deal if a miss the rest of the lecture, and besides this is my last class for the day. I flip open my phone and hold it to my ear.

"Yo?"

"Naruto, finally I got a hold of you," Sasuke's voice came from the other side.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, but for the last three weeks I've been trying to call you. Didn't Kiba tell you? You left your phone twice when you were working and he picked up."

"No he didn't say anything." Or did he? I don't' know, I don't reimburse.

"Anyway I wanted to tell you I saw Gaara."

"Really? I know he's in the same town as me, he gave me a sort of 'message'"

"Yeah…he hadn't known you went to college in the same town. You know, lucky for you I'm a teacher's aid. He came back to Konoha Greens for a bit. He asked me about you. Told him were you were. Have you talked to him?"

"No…I guess it's hard to get information. I don't think he knows what dorm I am in and shit. I don't think the college would just give out stuff like that to anyone. Doesn't matter he knows were I work…but I haven't seen him yet."

"Well I got to go. The kids are glaring at me. Their trying to take a test," Sasuke says in a dull voice, most likely not really caring that he's interrupting the kids concentrations.

"Ok then, bye," I say, and he repeats the words. So Gaara's really been looking for me. It's tempting to just sit back and see if he can actually contact me, like he promised he would. But also I kinda want to find him. After all I've waited long enough. It really is lucky that Sasuke is still at our old boarding school. He's a teacher aid, while also studying to become an English major. He's probably going to get hired at the school once he's got his diploma. I would have never imagined Sasuke would want to become a teacher. I think eventually he'll probably get a different job, but for now he's satisfied with his plan.

"Naruto? Shouldn't you be in class?" the bull voice of Shino reaches my ear. I turn around giving my old buddy a big smile.

"My phone went off, so I got out before the professor kicked my ass," I joke.

"I see," he says in a monotone voice.

"What about you?"

"I don't have my next class until two hours."

"Well I'm done for the day, I don't know why you take late classes. I'd want to get them all out of the way first thing in the morning," I muse out loud, just making small talk.

"I like to have breaks…. Kiba's still been distant…" Shino says almost out of no where.

"Yeah I know, he's kinda like that with me to. I just think it's worse with you cause you had a crush on him," Shino nods slightly.

"Do you have to work tonight?"

"No..why?"

"Kiba had said he would hang out with me. He changed his plans, Hinata asked him out, and of course he jumped at the chances."

"Oh dude, I'm sorry that's kinda my fault. I hooked the two up…I didn't

know."

Shino brushes it off, "Well I have tickets to go to this gallery. It's better really, I think you'll appreciate the art more then Kiba anyway."

"What kind of Gallery?"

"I show case, from a couple of artist, I'm not sure," Shino shrugs.

"I wouldn't have thought you the art type."

"I can appreciate it," he mumbles.

"Me too, I'd love to go. Lately art's become a part of my life again," I say with a smile.

"How so?"

"Let's grab some lunch and I'll tell you about it," I offer, and the brunette nods.

**Gaara's POV**

"I would rather not appear tonight."

"But this is your first showcase!"

"There will be other artist there…" I mumble. I hardly want to go to the gallery this evening. Hadn't I said I wanted a vacation? A break so that I may discover my muse? I do not want to waste anymore time, no matter the fact that I am technically at a stand still.

"Mr. Sabaku, please. It would be rude if you didn't appear. "

"I've never liked galleries," I mutter out, getting slightly annoyed by my 'manger'. I had never though things would go so far, I almost regret it. And for the time I've wanted to look for Naruto I've had no artistic urges. I need to find him, he is more important then this fame I never even bargained for.

"Oh just for an hour, you don't have to stay the entire night."

"I had said I wanted a vacation," I point out plainly.

"Yes, but I couldn't tell the gallery no. They paid a fine amount of money to show case your work, and for you appearance."

It seems as though I'm being treated like a whore. You pay for me? For my work? This is hardly how I wanted my art to be treated. But still, it is a good way to get Naruto's attention. I wonder if he has heard of me…I wonder if he believes I will keep my promise.

"I do not wish to go," I say, my nymph comes first not work.

"But so many people have already bought tickets." I do not respond. Is it to late to turn back? I wish my work had never started such an uproar. Yes I had enjoyed myself in Japan. But all those odd jobs that made my name known to art collectors and more…it was all to find some sort of inspiration. An inspiration that I have lost. A touch in my art that is no longer there. I am far form an idiot, I know what will fix my hands. However at the same time it is somewhat hopeless, and pure wishful thinking to believe that Naruto is still expecting me. I have no excuse I am a year late…

"Mr. Sabaku—"

"Fine I will come," I say in a monotone voice. Manly because I wish for some peace and solitude. My manger shows joy clearly in his face. Such expression…Naruto is more expressive then anyone I've ever met. I turn my head away, and my manger exits my apartment. I am far from expressive, and happiness was never an emotion I felt easily. Sometimes that feeling was even painful; as my mind would be confuse. Happiness conflicted greatly with everything I had ever known. However I felt content when I was around Naruto…is that not the same as being happy? Now I do not even feel slight contentment, and only occasionally do I feel pride, but it is all to rare.

I am so close to my muse, I know this. He is in this same town, and I even know which college he attends. Yet the fates have not let us meet yet, I still haven't kept my promise. It was only by pure accident that I spotted him exiting his place of work, in full uniform, a couple of weeks ago. But it seems every time I enter the establishment he is no were to be found. However I hope that he's gotten my 'message'. I had no other idea as to how to contact him. I don't think the waitress recognized me as an artist, which I'm grateful for. So hopefully the painting exchanged hands.

I head for my kitchen wanting to have some lunch. While I prepare my food my mind wanders to thoughts of Naruto, what else? For so long I've though of him I don't believe I've ever stopped, however these thoughts are more intense now. I wonder if he will give me a chance, once I am finally able o get a hold of him, will he hear me out? I have an explanation as to why I'm late, granted it is hardly an excuse; but possibly my kind hearted muse will forgive me. I hope so, never before have I been so attached to someone. I wish to feel the same content I did when I was young, I do not want to feel so dull and empty anymore. I want my art to reach the next level, and I can only achieve that if I would take photos of my nymph, and paint him also. If I could see those familiar eyes, and hear that enchanting voice. I sound quiet pathetic, but I am a person who must be urged into feeling something. Naruto was the person who urged me into feeling emotions I had forgotten about.

It's horrible that I'm at a stand still. On the few occasions that I went to the café he works at, I never saw him. His college will not help me contact him, they find me suspicious. At least the women at the front desk do. I enjoy the fact that I can go out in public and am hardly noticed. Only people who take a deep interest in the art community know about me. However that is still a pretty large population.

I eat my food, the dish mainly made of vegetables. I hardly eat during the day. I've become accustomed to a sort of night life. I prefer it that way, and usually take most of my art classes in the evening. However I hardly have time for those anymore. I will finish my schooling though, one way or another.

After I'm done eating, I walk up the short flight of steps that lead to my room, and the connected studio. I walk into my studio, stepping over the various canvases on the floor. I keep them there for easy reach, seeing as I still do my best work at ground level. The area in which I paint has a large white sheet, so that I do not stain the wood flooring. I sit down and slide out my sketch book from behind a lamp which is use sometimes in my photography. Though I hardly take pictures here, I usually do it on location. I open my book, and look over the many drawing that litter it's pages. Sketches of the female body, practice since I hardly ever focus on that form. However I can't very well ignore it. I find a blank page and my pencil connects lightly starting to sketch anything that comes to mind. Truly I just don't want to sit and watch TV.

I feel so restless when I'm in front of the television, and usually my thoughts wonder to the year's failure of my promise. Though I still intend to keep it. When I draw my thoughts are more soothing more at ease, and focus only on memories of the past. Of how my art has changed in both good and bad ways.

My cell phones rings. I have no home phone, see no point in it. I pull out my red and black cell and look at the number. My manger, I think about simply not picking up. However I press the button and put the phone to my ear.

"Yes?" I question the man on the other end, hiding my irritation very well.

"Will you come down to the gallery. It seems they wish for your option on the display, and how they should arrange the paintings."

"Can't you take care of it?"

"No, they insist they want everything to be to your liking."

"I don't care either way," I mumble out in an emotionless tone, truly meaning what I said. Art is not so complicated, people put to much emphasis on menial things. Simply hang the paintings upon the wall, and be done with it. They go in no specific order, each painting is a tale on it's own.

"Will you please? After this I won't bother you anymore, and you can have that vacation."

I though I was already in the middle of my vacation. "Ill be a minute," I mumble out, and hang up the phone. I put away the sketch book and get to my feet, once again maneuvering past all the things upon the floor.

I make it to the gallery and it seems the moment I enter the female population of the room loses their intelligence. Their eyes look at me with admiration, and they fold their hands together blinking their eyes much more then needed. A blonde woman comes up to me, and hair only reaching to her shoulder, and I admire her for a moment, comparing her to my muse. Noting how her hair is much to light of a blonde, and how her skin is such an orange color, obviously fake tan. Her eyes are blue, and seem blinded by my presence.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sabaku," she says in a rather pleasant voice.

"Gaara is fine." Her eyes twinkle as I give her permission to address me by my first name. I simply dislike it when people put such an unfamiliar word like mister in front of my name. I've told my agent time and time again, but he holds on to the respectful term.

"Well then, let me tell you how very flattered we are. For us to be the first to display your art in a gallery…it's truly an honor. I hope you will let use keep some of the works permanently."

"I see no harm in it," I say in a monotone voice.

'Well then great, let's save that for a little later. There are some I already have my eyes on. But first we would like to know how we should arrange the pieces."

"Anyway you'd like."

"Oh dear, no. They should be in categories, and I'd like to know which ones fit together."

I stare at her dully, not really having an answer to give. Then I open my mouth, "Categorize them anyway you please."

"Are you sure? We want everything to be to your liking," I nod my head slightly in answer. "Well…if your positive," she seems to be amazed at how very uncaring I am. I'm sure many artists are very anal about such things, but my art is to be seen. In which order they are seen and how they are seen is hardly any thing to struggle over.

"Well then," she smiles happily starting to walk. "About the pieces I have in mind to stay here with us." I follow her, as she seems to be leading me to the display. She says nothing more not finishing her train of thought. Then we stop in front of a plain white wall, my paintings gently leaning against is. Not having been hung up yet, probably because they wanted my input.

She bends down with a smile pointing at one painting. "This one, it's my favorite. I was wonder if you'd be willing to leave it in our capable hands."

My eyes trail down slowly to look at the painting she's pointing to. My lips twitch slightly, as if attempting a smile. It's a painting of half a face. A beautiful blue eyes stares back at me, and within the pupil is a hint of an orange butterfly. I used watercolors to paint the insect, so it blends in perfectly, as if the eye is reflecting what it sees. Dark blonde almost brown locks swirl around forming a background of trees and wind and little homes. All of which are in shades of yellow, brown and orange.

"I suppose," I mumble out, and the blonde woman gives me a smile. "You haven't given me your name," I point out. Once again taking a fancy in comparing her to Naruto.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm Natasha Cowell," she says giving me a smile and letting her eyelid slide down to half mass. She has probably noticed my staring, and has taken it as I sign that I'm interested in her. It's rather amusing, but really I feel nothing towards her. I've compared many blondes, both men and women to my nymph all have come up short. None have inspired me the way my muse did.

She lets her eyes scan me before heading back to another painting. Yet again she smiles, and gestures to the painting. "This one as well. I'd like to keep it here, and that is all I'd dare take."

This time the painting shows more landscape then anything else. A dark forest with a crumbling gazebo, surrounded by black and purple flowers, and little lights. Representing fairies, but they could also be fireflies, what ever the eye wishes to see. Within the gazebo lies a body, back to the viewer, a whole within their head. It's a female this time. She's wearing a light blue dress with a corset, and many bows and black lace. Her hair is curled tightly like Goldy locks. Blood stains her hair along with the first step leading up to the gazebo, which is her coffin.

I nod slowly, "That is fine."

"Thank you really. And you are sure we can display these painting anyway we'd like?" I nod again. "Great, thank you again. You should stay. The showcase will start in an hour. No need for you to make the trip back here." Again I nod, letting my eyes wonder around the gallery. I glance at the women again, who's still smiling. I slowly turn my back to her.

"I'll look at the other paintings," I mumble. I'm sure I won't be able to see the works of the other artist once the showcase opens.

"Of course," she says happily, and busies herself with completing the finishing touches.

I walk around at a leisured pace, scanning over the other works of art. I hurry by and abstract paintings, finding the rather distasteful. I've never liked abstracted art. However some of the painting in the gallery are very nice, and well painted, imaginative. I see I'm in good company. Most of the paintings have a rather dark theme to them.

I spend some time walking around, and soon the women, Natasha, comes up to me again. Her cheeks hold a slight tint of pink. I glance at her shortly before admiring the painting I was looking at yet again.

"This is bold of me, but I must ask. All the paintings of yours. There are nothing but blondes. Do you find them rather attractive?"

I don't look at the women and my feet slowly move to carry me to the next art display. She follows awaiting an answer. "Yes, very much so," I mumble out finally.

"I know you take photo's as well. I wonder, would you consider me as a model?" Her face is splattered with red, as she shyly asks me this. She is obviously a woman who takes prideful and an almost shallow approach to her appearance. She is…plain. Nothing about her is as expressive or as beautiful as my nymph. She is the very meaning of stereotypical beauty.

"I'm on vacation, now," I tell her solemnly. She nods and blushes even more.

"Of course," she looks at me almost seductively, a smile on her lips. "Well maybe once you've taken a break…you'll consider it?" I do not answer, instead give my attention to the gallery again. She follows me.

"Is there anyone special in your life?" She ask, once again being very bold. I turn a cold stare at her, and she seems to shiver. Not out of fear or discomfort, but it seems like pleasure.

"Only one has cut themselves into my heart," I say simply, wanting her to get rid of any thoughts of seducing me. Indeed her expression drops.

"Oh…I see..That person you spoke about in the article?" I do not answer, simply keep walking. She opens her mouth again, but then notices the time on her watch.

"Well, we'll be starting in a minute, I have to be off," she says, waving timidly, and turning away. I walk back to the part of the gallery were my art is displayed. I notice a few other artist make their way to their respective posts. This night will be far from pleasant, and I only wish that I could be outside looking for my muse.

**Naruto's POV**

"Should we change into something fancy?" I ask Shino.

"I don't think it's necessary."

"I just don't want everyone to be wearing tuxedos and gowns, and then I'll stick out like a swore thumb."

"It's just a showcase, anyone who bought tickets can enter. I doubt there's a dress code."

"Yeah, but you know how people are," I say, letting my hands rest on the back of my head as I look at ceiling.

"Let's go," Shino says, and I nod, getting up off my chair, and head out the door. Shino like me has no car or anything. The only one of use that has one is Kiba. We start to walk towards the gallery, which is luckily only a couple of blocks away. I tug at my jacket as the wind blows cool evening air towards us. I'm wearing a black jacket, with a hood on the back. It kinda looks like a girl's jacket because the sleeves are tight. On the front of my jacket on my chest is a little orange kabuki type character. With wild orange hair that looks like a mane and a white face painted with orange strips, and of course an orange kimono and divided pants, he's also holding a sword. On the back of my jacket is a large and lovely orange and yellow picture of a geisha, surrounded by white blossoms. My shirt underneath is just plain orange, and my blue jeans a rather tight. Kinda like emo pants, except they widen out a little at the end, just enough to encircle my shoes. Which are my favorite pair of orange convers.

Once we finally arrive there's a line of people giving up their tickets and going inside the gallery. Most of which are dressed in elegant type clothes, but a good amount are in casual, so I don't feel left out.

Shino shows our tickets and we go inside. I look around at all the people that are looking at stuff. Some of them are talking to each other, and there are even waiters handing out snacks!

"Wow, this is way more fancy then just some museum," I mumble out to Shino.

"Yeah, it's the first time I've come here," he mumbles back in a dull voice. We look around at the paintings. People seem to give us weird looks, like we were dirt on their shoe or something. I ignore it, and keep looking around staying close to Shino. Occasionally when we come to an abstract paint I make a childish remark about what I think it looks like. Shino's lips—which are always hidden, and currently covered up partly by a rather cute and colorful scarf—twitch into a slight smile for a brief moment. However others only scoff at my remarks.

Many of the people are talking to rather colorful characters, who only stand in one place by the art displays. I guess those must be the artists. A lot of laughing, 'oh yes', and 'magnificent' leave peoples lips, as they talk to the creators.

"You know other then some of these people being ass wholes, this is kinda nice. Kiba missed out."

"I'm sure he's enjoying himself with Hinata," I hear the tone of sadness in his voice. My eyebrows frowned, and I point out another painting with a silly comment to lighten Shino's spirits.

Then we come upon a display with a lot of people around it. They all seemed to be talking at once, but I couldn't see what the big deal was, since I couldn't even see past the crowd. I push forward a little, dragging Shino with me, and I come face to face with a painting. It was a painting of an eye, a blue eye. I look at the brush strokes which look rather chaotic, but smooth. Not blending entirely and you could clearly see where the colors changed in a patchy manner, which seemed to cause everything to blend evenly. I smile recognizing the style. I let go of Shino who also stares at the picture, admiring it.

"It look a lot like the ones you have in your dorm.

"Yeah I know! It's Gaara, it has to be!" I say excited, jumping up to try and look over the heads of the people in front of me.

"Gaara? How…strange," he says.

"It's luck really. All the other artist are here, he as to be too!" I finally get tired of being courteous and I push through the people, trying to find red hair.

Finally I spot him a bored look on is face, while a group of women in cocktail dresses chat him up. He's wearing a jacket with black cameo buttons connected by chains. The jacket reaches down to his thigh, and uderneith is he's wearing a turtle neck. The sleeves are neatly folded at the end with another cameo adorning it. It has light embroidery which blends into the black color of the jacket. The embroidery is that of skulls, interlocked in a fancy way, with swirls, and flower like shapes surrounding them. His pants are just plain black slacks, and underneath those pants hide away a pair of black polished boots with steal toes. I push past the last few barriers of people and he doesn't seem to notice me as I stumble out a little. I take the chance to jump up at him, catching him completely off guard.

"I found you! You broke your promise, I found you first," I say smiling at him, my arms around his neck. Startled and confused emerald eyes stare back at me, before they take on their familiar cold mask. However I do spot the slight twinkle in them, and the twitch of Gaara's lips.

"I'm sorry," he says in monotone voice.

"That's ok," I say letting go of him. Only then do I notice that people are staring at me. Already being feed up by most of the people's attitude here I give them a glare. "What you never seen two men hug?!"

"Mr. Sabaku, do you know this man?" A gentleman asks in an almost disgusted tone. Well sorry I don't fit in to the artistic elegant, and snooty category! I almost had the urge to tell him I'm Gaara's long lost lover, the muse he's been looking for. As I remember the article. Instead I look to my red head. Who seem unaffected by all this.

"Let's go," he says simply turning to me. I give him a big grin, stopping my hand from reaching out to his. I don't think it's a good idea to shock the poor people.

"Mr. Sabaku?" I female screams from behind use, wanting him to stop. I spot her take his arm. "You can't leave yet. Stay just a while longer until the exhibit is over."

"I'm sorry, I can't stay," he mumbles. I spot Shino stepping out of the crowd and I wave to him, making gestures to tell him I'm leaving. He gives me a nod.

"Naruto?"

"Oh sorry I'm coming!" I say happily following as Gaara takes his leave. Once we make it to a more peaceful place he stops.

"I…it's…great that our paths met," he says for lack of better words.

"Yeah, you've really made something out of yourself."

"Yes…but…I apologize. You're right, in a way I've broken my word."

"It's ok, all that matters is that you didn't forget about me." He nods slightly. "I got your painting. I was working that night…you should have stayed."

"I hadn't known."

"I can't believe this…it's kinda weird seeing you again." Gaara's eyes stare at me showing just a hint of depression before growing cold again. "I like it, it's a good kinda weird." I reassure him with a smile.

"Were do we go from here?" he questions me.

"Well I was hoping, we could pick up were we left off. I know it'll probably be odd. I'm sure we've both changed a little. But I want to give use another go. I never really consider our relationship over…"

"No one else as ever gotten so close to me. I would like that…to pick up were we left off," He says in a monotone voice, his eyes never leaving me.

"Why don't we catch up? I have a lot to tell you about, and I want to know how you held up in military school," I say excited, my words coming out fast.

"Would you care to go back to my apartment."

I give him a sly smirk, "I'd be honored, Mr. Sabaku."

* * *

A/N: Together again. There'll probably be a little 'playing' next chapter. But I don't think I'm going to let it elevate to a lemon. 


	3. Making up for lost time

A/N: Over a 100 reviews already, Thanks you guys!

Chapter 3: Making up for lost time

**Gaara's POV**

I open the door to my apartment, and Naruto's eyes grow wide as I turn on the light. "Wow this is nice!" I don't respond, mainly because I have no real opinion on my apartment. All I wanted was a place that had enough room so I could have a studio. I lead my muse to the living room. It's true…it's so odd to have him here again. But I feel at ease knowing that he doesn't seem to be at all angry about the delay of my promise. Instead he is just as I remember him. Energetic expressive, fascinating and beautiful. Even his appearance has hardly changed. It seems that he hasn't grown much since high school. He can't be but one or two maybe three inches taller then he was when I last saw him. Which makes me about four inches taller then him. His hair is slightly shorter then I remember, but in the same hair stile, and his bangs still cover is forehead, spread evenly apart. His eyes are just as round, and his eyelashes are still a deep brown. But he's lost weight. His face is still rounded and his cheeks full, however it doesn't look as childish. His face has elongated a little. I continue to look him over as he takes a seat upon my couch. It's not a very extreme weight lose. He's far from being as skinny as I am. I like him that way. Maybe it's the few inches in height he's gained that make him look just a bit skinnier.

"So tell me how'd you manage in military school?" Naruto ask with a hint of concern in his voice.

"It was fine," I tell him plainly.

"You're going to have to give me more then that. Come on talk to me. Did you make any friends? Was it really strict?" he asks.

He's the only one who can get me to talk, so why wouldn't I converse with him? He doesn't need to tell me. I enjoy listening to him talk more then myself, however he's asking me questions. I won't ignore him.

"It really wasn't as bad as you might think." I mumble. "The instructors for the most part ignored me. I did what I was told, and didn't really talk. I had no time to draw. Just like in our school, rumors soon spread about me, and people stayed out of my way for the most part," I say truthfully.

Naruto gives me a sad look, though I don't see why. "I'm sorry you had to be all alone during that time."

"It's not a big deal."

"It's a big deal to me," he scolds. "It's not cool being all alone in a shity place like that. And all because you're dad is fucked up," My blonde huffs. "How's he by the way? He have cancer or something? He'd deserve it."

"I haven't talked to him in over a year, I don't know," I say in a monotone voice.

"Well good you don't' need to talk to him. And he better not start coming around here, just cause you're in a good place with your art. Some people do that, you gain a little bit of fame and shit, and suddenly your enemies try to become your friends."

"I doubt it. He never showed interest in my art."

"He wouldn't be interested in your art, just your success," Naruto explains. "Oh I still have all the pictures you painted for me! They're in my dorm. Granted they creep Kiba out, but I won't take them down."

"You share a dorm with him?" I ask remembering the boy as one of Naruto's old friends. The one who lead to my suspension. I feel nothing towards him, however last time I checked Naruto was rather upset with him.

"Yeah it was his idea. It's a long story, I'll tell you after you're done telling me about how you've been." I look at my nymph thinking for a moment. There wasn't anything to say. My life's been rather dull. My time at military school was nothing I couldn't handle, and I wasn't changed by it. I hardly remember any of my classmates.

"It's been rather dull. The only thing that happened to me in military school is that once a boy ripped out the pages of my satanic bible," I mumble. Naruto smiles at me.

"Of course he'd do that," he laughs a little. "But you didn't get into any fights right?"

"No I avoided people for the most part, and the times when someone did attempt to try something I ignored them. They soon all got board of me. People started rumors about me being a juvenile delinquent who got sent to the school as punishment. Others simply said I was a devil worshipper. Which soon lead to the boy ripping up my text. I hardly reacted to that. Even though he did try and egg me on. It seems like a pretty close minded and immature thing to do. I made sure that he rest of the books I was able to sneak into my bag when my father shipped me off, were well hidden. After all I wouldn't have been surprised if my karan got ripped up too."

"Well I'm still sorry you had to go there, still pisses me off a little," Naruto says honestly. "So, why didn't you look for me when you turned eighteen? Or did you try and not find me?"

"Once I was done with military school I was kicked out of my dads house with only half of my belongings. The only money I had was given to me by my sister, out of sympathy. For the most part I lived in a hotel and didn't really eat for a month. But then while I was on a computer in the library I found out about the art institute here. I took out student loans….my sister let me put her down as a cosigner. I didn't have much contact with her since. But I got a job at a bookstore, and in a restaurant cleaning dishes. I didn't mind the jobs, I worked them on different days and I was able to balance my school work along with them because of my insomnia. I didn't have to interact with customers, and only with my coworkers every once in a while. I wasn't' rude to them, but they tended to stay out of my way as well. Not that I cared. While I was doing these jobs I was also asked do some odd jobs. Like the Liberian at my school asked me to make a poster. Other people got interested in my work. Seeing as our library is an open library and not just for the students uses. It all grew from there…it got sort of out of hand. For the most part my photography was limited to the models we had in class. Though there was one girl who approached me once. She had told me about how she didn't really want to be an artist but a model. Her parents had insisted she get some sort of education and she was sent to the institute. She asked me if I could take her pictures, she paid me for the first couple of photo shoots. She put them on her my space, and other websites. Of course I had edit her picture to make them more dramatic. I don't know what's happened to her. But when other people heard about it they also got interested. One girl had put up her own website, and gave me created for the photography. She told me that she had a magazine interested in her, and that they wanted me to take the photos. It was a morbid magazine with short stories in it, horror and such. Some of them were real life stories too. That lead to me eventually being asked by The 'Gothic Lolita' company to do a photo shot for them."

Naruto's bright eyes looked at me with amazement, "Wow sounds like everything kinda fell into your lap. You're lucky, but you deserve the attention I think. I like your art, I'm glade it's gotten other peoples attention. I think it suits you to make art into your job. I mean you enjoy doing it after all."

"Yes, but sometimes it becomes rather annoying."

Naruto laughs, "That just like you. Good don't let the fame go to your head."

"Either way with all that was happening I hardly had time to really set out and look for you. I apologize. But in my first years I struggled financially. All the money I made went towards my student bills, and I could hardly afford a vehicle and insurance. But eventually as I got more and more jobs and people got more interested, I paid everything off. I got a vehicle and while I was in Japan, I though about the best place to stare to look for you. I didn't have any idea really. But after I got back I decided I would go back to our old school. It's not much on excuse."

Naruto looks at me sweetly. "It's ok. After all I read an article about you in an art magazine. You never forgot about me, did you?"

"No."

Naruto smiles at me. "Well same here. And Kiba tried to talk me out of waiting for you. Oh let me tall you about all the crap that happened once you left. About a month after I went back to school Kiba came up to me and apologized. I wasn't about to forgive him, but he didn't really give up, and I felt kinda sorry for him. After all even Shino was mad at him at that point. Well I don't think he was mad more like he avoided Kiba, cause I guess he was a little heart broken. Eventually me and Kiba agreed that some topics shouldn't be mentioned because it would only cause trouble. After that I started hanging out with him again. He acted a little more wary at some points, but for the most part it was kinda like old times. Though once Kiba got so shit faced he started hitting on Sasuke whom he thought was a girl. He didn't remember it the next morning and I decided I wouldn't tell him. I think it would fuck with his head if I did. Eventually everything was back to the way it was, before I got interested in you. Shino became less shy, and both him and Sasuke would try and kick Kiba and me out when we were sneaking alcohol. You know I guess I kinda drank a little bit more after you were gone. It messed up my grades for a while. But then Sasuke made me stop and told Kiba he shouldn't be doing it either. Sasuke pointed out that I was probably subconsciously trying to fill a void. Maybe I was, I don't know. Before I got involved with you every so often me and Kiba would drink beer, so maybe I just went back to my old habit. But I missed sitting out in the courtyard with you, a lot." Naruto looks at his hands.

"I did though, every day in the morning before class I sat out in the courtyard. I was worried a lot too. I couldn't stand not knowing if you were doing ok in military school. Besides I felt kinda lonely…But sitting in the courtyard made me feel a little better."

I watch Naruto as a hint of sadness comes to engulf his blue eyes as he thinks back. I scoot a little closer to him as if to reassure him that I'm here. He looks up at me, and smiles. He reaches out his hand for mine. I let him touch me, I didn't mind it.

"But anyway," he stars again cheerfully his hand still holding mine. "I didn't really know what I wanted to study in college. But Iruka wanted me to go. I wasn't so stupid as to not go either. I mean it's important to have a college education, and I was able to pass the SAT. Maybe not with flying colors but I made it none the less. I had to take out student loans this year, because the money ran out. But I decide I would study politics and economics. Sounded interesting enough. It would be so awesome if I could like run for mayor or something. I don't think it could happen, and beside could you just imagine the headlines? New mayor major flamer," Naruto laughs. "But I think that it's still interesting to study it. I take a lot of social studies classes, like US History. I think the knowledge will come in handy, especially economics."

"I think you would be a good politician. You're a likable person," I think out loud.

"Yeah, but there isn't really such thing as a good politician," he chuckles. I nod in agreement. "Did you take the SAT?"

"Yes I took it during my last year in military school. I scored fairly well."

"It feels so good to be able to talk to you again," Naruto muses.

"Yes…same here.." I almost whisper.

Naruto comes closer to me, and I keep his hand in mine, not breaking the eye contact. "You know, there's some other stuff I learned over the years," he says almost seductively. "Like the Internet helped me figure out what we did wrong, when we first...ya know."

It's just like Naruto to not be shy about topics such as porn. Though I can't bring myself to say it out loud. I did watch one too at one point, just out of curiosity. It didn't do much for me. I pull Naruto closer to me, getting the hint. He continues to look up at me, and I bring our faces closer together for a kiss. I've had no physical contact since the day we said goodbye.

Naruto seems to find my lip piercing rather interesting as he lets his tongue run over the metal. I take this opportunity to slip my tongue past his lips.

"Ah," The surprised sound coming from my muse is muffled as I continue to rediscover him. His arms come up to encircle my neck. Our kiss becomes a little more heated, and we only part to take small gasps of air. My hand comes to rest on Naruto's hip and I pull him a little closer to me. He's eager to scoot in and fill in the space between us. One of Naruto's hands travels up into my hair.

We part and Naruto looks at me though half-lidded eyes. "It's been so long," he whispers.

"Are you sure this isn't uncomfortable for you," I ask cautiously. After all we've only been reunited today, I don't want him to rush into anything he my not be sure about.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I look at him, and I don't need to tell him what's on his mind as he nods. "It's just a little make out session," he whispers seductively. "Besides you're still the Gaara I fell in love with. And I've waited to long. You're still just a bit shy and quiet, you're still stoic. You're still so very interesting, and I want to know and find out all the little changes you may have gone through. I'm going to bug you everyday just like I did back in high school."

"I wouldn't mind that," I mutter out. Naruto pulls me down for another kiss, pushing me back slightly. While doing so he adjusts his position so that he's straddling me, sitting upon my lap. I let my hands roam down his lower back, before settling over his jeans pockets. I break our kiss to let my lips stray to his neck. Naruto tilts his head back and to his right side, as I suck on the exposed flesh. Naruto starts to squirm in my lap. We find each others lips again, Naruto once again finding my lip ring an intriguing object. He bites my lip a little, before soothingly running his tongue over it, and into my mouth; where I meet him half way.

I try not to let my emotions take me over too much. Though I feel rather happy to have my muse back, and to be interacting with him in this way, the fact remains we've been apart for awhile. It is like Naruto said, and I wouldn't mind him visiting me daily so that we may discover any little changes that may have occurred. However it is hard to keep control in this situation. I feel that same contentment I felt when I was in high school, and suddenly other things in my life seem less important. But there is a small part of me that fears maybe I have changed…and I will disappoint my muse. However he seemed confident about me, and he's still so very caring. I don't wish to be a disappointment so I hope that his earlier statement is true and I haven't changed to drastically. After all Naruto is the only person who was able to push past my barrier, I don't think I'll ever find someone like him again. This time I don't want to let him go. However I also want him to be satisfied with me, and content. It would also be a displeasure to me if my muse as changed somewhat. But it seems that nothing drastic has happened in his life to make him change. Besides he's still talkative, his voice is still rhythmic; and he still has an effect on me. Most of all he's still very impulsive. We wouldn't be kissing right now if he had changed that part of his personality.

Naruto shifts in my lap again, causing a teasing friction between us. I can feel his fingers trailing up my skull. I let my fingers test the skin underneath his shirt. This causes my muse to moan lightly and he decides to wiggle in my lap again. He fists the short tuffs of my hair in his hand. Pulling at them, making me tilt my head back, he deepens our kiss; but I don't let him gain dominance as his tongue continues to explore my mouth. Instead I push him away slight and straighten myself out more in my current sitting position. So I'm not slouching. These causes Naruto to tilt his head back and look up at me. Our lips meet again, but this time I'm the one in charge, and Naruto submits easily as I continue our ministrations. His hand loosens its grip on my hair, and comes to rest on my shoulder. My hand travels back down to rest gently against his hips.

Finally we part needing air and we look at one another. Naruto smile and rest his head against my shoulder, his arms around my neck. We sit there in comfortable silence, and Naruto cuddles with me. I let him, and lace my fingers together behind his back, so that I am holding him as well.

"I really missed you," he whispers. "I kinda don't want to leave, what time is it?"

I remove my hands, reaching into my pocket to get out my cell. I have to look past Naruto's blonde spikes, seeing as he's unwilling to move. I read the glowing numbers on my phone.

"It's ten thirty," I tell him. Naruto lets out a groan.

"I'll have to go back to my dorm. I have class first thing in the morning. But I'll come see you afterward." He smiles up at me, finally moving from his earlier hugging position.

"All right, let me drive you home then," I offer, my muse nods, and we both get up.

**Naruto's POV**

Gaara stops in front of my college, and I take off the helmet he let me barrow. I get off the motorcycle and stand in front of my boyfriend. I lean down to give him a peak on the cheek.

"Be prepared to be bugged by me tomorrow," I tell him cheerfully, he nods in response, and I see a twitch of his lips. But no smile. A smile is a rare present I get from him. I still remember the one he gave me when I last saw him. Hopefully I'll never have to see that smile under the same circumstances again. All these years I've held on to him…I don't want to lose him. He's still so much like a remember him. He's a little bit more like he was once I first started talking to him, but he's still way more open towards me, and he's talkative much to my pleasure. I'm glade I got to talk to him, and I can understand that the first year of college can be pretty overwhelming and hectic, so I don't mind that he's a year late. At least we never forgot about each other. And now we can get back to the way things were; except maybe a little better. A little less stressful and more independent. I'll be able to see him and I don't have to worry about his father, or anyone else. I mean what could possible happen? Who could possible tear us apart this time?

"Goodnight," Gaara mumbles, bringing me back to the real world.

"Night, drive safe," I say slipping the helmet over his head. He revs the engine and picks up his foot, and I watch him make a U-turn and speed off in the direction of his apartment. I can't help but let out a lovesick sigh; yeah I never stopped being that hopeless romantic. I couldn't be happier, I feel like a new chapter of my life is starting!

I turn around and enter the campus, heading for my dorm. A lot of windows have lights shining through them. People are probably up studying. I enter my building and head up to my shared room. I notice the light underneath the crack of the door, so I don't have to be worried about waking Kiba up.

I open the door, and spot Kiba at his desk, a book in front of him. He turns around to look at me. "Where have you been? Shino came back hours ago."

"You don't want to know," I say waving my hand in the air. He gives me a strange look, but then he smiles slightly.

"Not the details no. But are you finally moving on?"

I hesitate, wondering if I really should say anything. I decide it would be best to change the subject, "How was your date with Hinata?"

Kiba stiffens visible, and he turns his gaze back to his book.

"Something bad happen?" I ask with slight concern, I go over to lean on Kiba's desk.

"No, it was a perfect date. Ino got on my nerves a little, but Hinata was sweet; like she always is."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's nothing…" he whispers, I give my friend an odd look, and he stares me in the face. "So are you going to answer me? Did you meet someone new?"

"Um…oh you don't want to hear about that gay stuff," I say chuckling.

"Well it's not like you have to tell me what you did, I'm just asking if you met someone new." I bite my lip, not knowing how to respond or what to say. I push myself of the desk and head for my closet, to get out some night clothes. I could just lie, but eventually I'm sure he'll find out. And then he may be more upset because I lied to him.

"It's a subject we agreed not to talk about," I mumble pulling out a plain light blue shirt, and orange spotted sweat pants, for bed.

"No we agreed you wouldn't tell me any details, and we wouldn't talk about Gaara. Are you mad at me cause I brought him up that one time?" I don't say anything. "Dud look I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's healthy for you to hold on to him, when you have no idea if he even still cares about you. I'm just worried is all. I mean we're nineteen, we should be dating and having one stands and shit. These are suppose to be the best years of our lives. College is the last stop before complete maturity and adulthood. Have some fun with it. So did you? Did someone catch your eye?"

I look at my friend pleadingly. He sighs. "Look I'm sorry I brought Gaara up, but if me saying that shit got you to thinking, and you went out with someone tonight then I'm glade I did say what I did." Kiba explains, waiting for me to answer his question still.

"I…It's…we shouldn't talk about it." I mumble taking off my shoes.

"What's up Naruto? Did the date end badly or something?"

"Well why don't you tell me about your date. You seemed so happy to have a chance at Hinata. I though you would be talking about her, like you usually do. Saying how much you like her and how sweet she is, and shit like that." I turn the tables on my friend, with a little bit of annoyance in my voice. I just don't want to tell Kiba I'm back together with Gaara, and then have him be an ass hole about it.

"There isn't' anything to say…" Kiba mumbles again turning to look at his book.

"Then why are you acting so melancholy?"

"It's nothing Naruto!" he snaps at me.

"Well then what I did tonight is nothing too," I snap back, taking off my shirt, and putting on the other top.

Kiba turns around and looks at me, he opens his mouth and then closes it. He seems to become a little nervous. "Hinata was sweet, and I…well I asked her if I could give her a kiss goodnight..."

"Yeah?" I urge my friend to go on, wondering if maybe the girl had rejected him.

"She was so cute when she blushed, but she said yes…."

"So why are you so moody?!"

"Because I didn't feel a god damn thing that's why!" Kiba yells, resting his head in his hands. I look at him with confusion, not really understanding what he means by this.

"No spark no nothing, it was disappointing."

"So maybe she's not the one for you," I tell him softly, putting my sweatpants on.

"Naruto I think—" He shakes his head stopping himself.

"You think what?" I ask, getting even more interested and concerned at the same time. I mean it's not like Kiba to act like this. He's usually confident when it comes to the ladies.

"Well I know that Shino came back before you because he came to our room. He ask me about my date with Hinata…Damnit Naruto…why is Shino so weird?"

"What do you mean? Did he come on to you?" I find that hard to believe, Shino isn't the type of guy to force himself on you. Besides he loves Kiba so much, he's hurt by the fact they can only ever be friends. I don't' think Shino would come on to him. But hen why the hell is Kiba acting so fucked up?

"No…you know it really isn't all that important. I mean so my date with Hinata didn't exactly end like I though it would. It was all so awesome until we kissed. But won't you tell me if you met someone? I kinda want to get my mind off my own date," he says truthfully.

I look at my friend with frowned eyebrows, but I nod, "I'll tell you but don't blow up in my face."

"You met Gaara? You were with Gaara weren't you!?"

I wince at the sound of my friend's voice. "Yeah , but—"

"Naruto you deserve someone better then that, someone who isn't a freak and won't just leave you."

"He didn't leave me! He was forced into military school, and then kicked out of his house with no job and only a little bit of money. He was practically homeless for a month. So excuse me, but I think a year delay is forgivable!"

Kiba looks at me, and an odd smirk comes to his lips. "You're just like Shino…holding on to that one person."

"Well sometimes those feelings are just so strong… nothing else makes sense. I don't' want any trouble ok Kiba, but if you're going to make me choose don't kid yourself. I'll pick Gaara over you in a heart beat," I say honestly meaning that.

I'll be damned if I have to deal with the same shit I dealt with in high school! Right now I just want to rekindle Gaara's and mine relationship and have the happy ending I wanted. I know that Gaara's the one for me. If he weren't then I wouldn't have held on to him for so long, with out any reassurances. I mean it's not like I didn't have people flirting with me. I mean not only Hinata was interested in me, but also Shino and me went to a gay bar once. I was trying to get him into the dating field but I was the one who got hit on by tones of guys. And all I could say was, 'I'm taken'. Because I never broke up with Gaara. He was and is still my boyfriend. I had plenty of opportunity to cheat on him, but I didn't. Even though he most likely would've ever found out about it. That's because I knew it would break his heart, and it's already so fragile. I never stopped loving him. That's why I know it's so hard for Shino to get over Kiba. He's known Kiba for so long. But if you're really meant to be with someone no matter what happens you won't let go of him or her, you'll always love them. Circumstance can't break that sort of bond, that kind of love. It didn't stop Gaara, and me and now we have our second chance.

"Naruto…how..how did you know that you liked Gaara?" Kiba ask making eye contact with me.

"Um..Well because I've never felt so protective over anyone before. No one had ever caught my interest like he did, he was my opposite; and that's what I needed," I say trying to explain, but words can't be used to explain that kind of stuff. You just know when you've found that one person you're suppose to be with. It's like finding a part of yourself…just in another person. I'm Gaara's smile and optimism, and he's my seriousness and logic.

"Naruto…I..I think.." Kiba stops himself, his fingers tangling in his hair. "I think I love Shino!" He blurts out. Whoa I was definitely not expecting that.

"Bu I'm not sure, I don't know I'm so fucked up right now…" Kiba says with an aggravated growl.

"It's always like that," I assure him.

"But I don't want to…well you know how some people go through that 'experimental stage' in college, right?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want this to just be some sort of curiosity or phase, and come on to Shino just to find out what it would be like. It would break Shino's heart if I lead him on…"

"Well then you're just going to have to fuck some random guy to see if you like it or not," I say with a shrug.

A blush creeps onto Kiba's face. "Dude this is serious!"

I laugh, "I'm being completely serious."

Kiba glares at me, "Fuck you Naruto!" I hold back my laughter at Kiba's expression.

"It would explain a lot Kiba. I'm not saying you're gay, only you can answer that question. The only way you can do that is by thinking back to every thing you've ever felt and not think about morals and society. But if you're a closet case it would explain why you are so extremely homophobic. A part of you likes the idea, but the other stronger part of you conflicts with that; and you decided you didn't want to hear anything about it and ignore it." I explain.

"I'm not homophobic!'

"Kiba please. You felt uncomfortable taking your shirt off in front of me." Kiba glares at me and turns back to his book. For a moment it's quite. I get up and turn on the lamp at Kiba's desk, he tenses, and I try not to chuckle. I then go to cut of the room light so that I can go to bed. Kiba doesn't remove his eyes from his book, and I just slip under my covers. Maybe with his own problems, Kiba won't bother me about Gaara. I think Gaara deserves me. He's sweet, in a morbid kinda way. So someone like Kiba who never really took the time to get to know him; wouldn't understand my complicated little red head. The fact of the matter is we love each other. I know that because I'm the only person Gaara's ever let in, I'm special. I smile thinking about how I'll go visit him tomorrow after class. I close my eyes and pull the covers up to my neck.

**A/N**: There's a point to the whole Kiba Shino thing, believe me. It's not cause I feel like writing about another couple, it'll effect Naruto.

Anyway like I said I didn't want their 'playing' to turn into anything like a lemon. But I promise I won't take 28 chapter to get to the good stuff this time, lol.


	4. time spent with you

Chapter 4: Time spent with you

**Gaara's POV**

"Don't you think that it's ironic. Kiba gay!" My muse laughs delightfully, and almost slips of the chair he's sitting on.

"Don't move so much," I say from behind my canvas.

"It's not like you can't draw me from memory."

"It's easier to have a model," I mumble. Like promised Naruto has come to visit with me, having finished his classes for the day. The urge to draw and create has gotten stronger within me, and most of all I wanted to draw my muse. With him modeling so that I can adjust my memory to the slight changes that have occurred in his physique. I Listen to Naruto as he speaks, my brush almost moving along with the rhythm of his voice. The highs, the lows, the laughter and notable emotion he puts into some words. It's a familiar sound, the sound I've dubbed my lullaby. Because the constant talking that my nymph is able to do, has always fascinated me. Though I hardly interact with him, he still continues to tell me everything about his day. I do occasionally assure him that I'm listening, with a slight sound of agreement or acknowledgment. I feel comfortable in conversations with Naruto, because he doesn't expect many words to pass my lips. Other people always attempt to coax me into a deep conversation, excepting me to just give out my opinion on a topic, which I do not necessarily believe they deserve to hear.

No I keep most of my thoughts inside, not all of them are worth mentioning. However Naruto's an open book, and offering himself up like that is what makes me answer his questions and occasionally I let him here my opinion on the matters he's talking about.

"But in all honesty it would be kinda great if Kiba was gay. I mean Shino never really got over him. I don't know I just think it would be kinda cute. Though I feel sorry for Hinata," he ads thoughtfully his eyes reflecting sympathy.

"Hinata?" A one word question my nymph decodes immediately.

"Oh she's this girl. She use to have a crush on me till I told her I was gay, then I hooked her up with Kiba. So if Kiba turns gay, then Hinata might be crushed. Well I don't' know if Hinata's grown very fond of him, but she did let him kiss her on their first date."

The image of seeing a male and a female kiss stirs up some displeasure. I don't like thinking about intimacy between any other people except me and my muse, hints the reason why I do not enjoy pornography, be it straight or gay.

"I doubt someone can just become attached to another, after only one date."

"We became attached even before we ever had a date!"

"Yes but you bothered me for months before hand," I mumble concentrating on my brush strokes.

"You make it sound like a bad thing. You know you liked it," Naruto says proudly. "Anyway Hinata and Kiba have know each other for a while…It's just I guess she never consider him before I mentioned it. Like I said she had a crush on me for a while. I don't know maybe I should talk to her. I wouldn't say anything about Kiba, cause it's not my place to do so."

"If only he had had the same courtesy." I say plainly, remember how he disliked me, and caused Naruto a lot of trouble. Of course eventually leading to my suspension. I don't blame the boy for his ignorance, some people just don't' behave well in certain situation. I can't say I care for the boy, and I wouldn't' want to talk to him. However Naruto has forgiven him, and as long as Kiba does not upset Naruto again, I will not say anything about their friendship. It's not may place, just as it wasn't Kiba's place to blame me for Naruto's affection towards me.

"Yeah…but he did apologize. I mean he felt genuianly sorry, so I forgave him. I can't really hold grudges, especially if someone is sorry about what they did."

No it doesn't suit my muse to hold anger towards one person for a long time, after they've apologized. I find this compassion favorable; seeing as Naruto didn't seem the slightest bit annoyed by the fact that I didn't go looking for him once I turned eighteen.

Naruto adjust himself on the chair. "If you keep moving so much you'll end up having three legs and four arm in my painting."

"Cool, just even it out put some Hindu jewelry on me and make me Shiva." Naruto suggest playfully. Actually I find that idea rather interesting, but I will have to save it for another time, because I can't adjust the painting I'm already working on.

"Hey aren't you suppose to be on vacation?" Naruto asks.

"I am," I point out.

"Well for being on vacation you sure do a whole lot of art related stuff. Painting and such. Isn't that kinda like doing your job? And you were at that showcase too."

"Painting isn't work, I enjoy it. I was forced to show up at the gallery, " I explain.

"You think people will recognize me from your paintings?"

"Maybe if you stood next to them."

"I'd sure get a lot of attention if I did. You think people will get suspicious?"

"I could careless if they found out about us," I mumble truthfully. Some people will always be closed minded, and no matter where you go, you can't get away from negative people. All you can do is ignore them. It's no ones business really if Naruto's my lover, my sexual preferences are hardly something I think is appropriate to talk about. Just like when the magazine asked me if my muse was a past lover or friend, I didn't respond, because I felt it was none of their concern.

"I love you Gaara, you're always so… 'I don't give a shit' about everything," Naruto chuckles a little. No, I honestly could careless if people started disliking me because of my sexual orientation. I do not plan to get rid of Naruto, and I don't' plan on changing my sexual preferences either. I just don't see how something so insignificant can make people so upset. Especially if it's not intruding on their life style.

"Well I guess it won't be much of a surprise if people found out you are gay. People always think guys that do anything artistic, like drama and art, are gay, cause they act a little weird. Kinda like how all male fashion designers act gay," Naruto muses out loud.

"Do you have to work tonight?"

"Yeah, my next day off won't be till Saturday."

"I see."

"Sorry."

"It's fine, I have evening classes. I should probably attend some tonight," I say plainly.

"It's not like you really have to finish school. You're art is already getting a lot of attention."

"Yes, but I would still like to have a diploma. Fame is fleeting, and not having some sort of higher education can leave you stuck," I explain.

"Yeah I guess you're right." I continue to paint, occasionally glancing up at Naruto. So that I can see the differences in his face, and analyze how much shorter his hair is.

"Are you done yet? I want to see," Naruto says, however staying still in his seat.

"I probably won't finish it today," I mumble out.

"Geeze, I can't sit like this the whole night. I do have work to attend."

"You can move, I have the basics." Naruto jumps off the chair and walks towards me, peeking around the canvas to see my work.

"Damn I didn't know my hair was so colorful," He says.

"Yes..it's lightened. You have three shades of blonde, and one shade of brown," I mumble absentmindedly, adding color depth to the painted hair.

"Damn I didn't even know there was such thing as three shades of blonde," My nymph says, taking a seat on the floor next to me. "Do you still sometimes work on the floor? Like in high school."

I nod silently. "Though I've gotten into the habit of using a stand when I have a model," I add.

Naruto lets himself fall back. He lies on the floor looking up at the ceiling. "We should rent a movie tomorrow, or go see one. I feel like seeing a movie. I don't remember the last time I watched one…or TV either."

"If you'd like."

"It should be a scary movie or something. I'm just in the mood for horror. Then we can watch it in the dark, with popcorn," Naruto goes on to list other snack foods, licking his lips.

"And ramen, you can't watch a movie without ramen." I give the blonde an odd look. "What? Ramen is good to eat in any situation." I continue to paint having no response to give. Like always my silence doesn't stop Naruto from speaking and yet again he brings up a new topic. This one mainly about his job and the people he works with, and how he really doesn't feel like going to work at the moment. I listen to his continues rant, and keep adding to the picture in front of me. I don't remember the last time I've felt so content, so at peace.

"Oh, what was it like in Japan?" Naruto asks abruptly.

"It was…interesting.." I mumble out not knowing any other way to explain the time I spent in the country.

"Did you go site seeing?"

"No."

"How could you not go site seeing?" Naruto exclaims with mild shock. He doesn't expect me to answer the question as he starts to talk yet again. "I would have liked to go look around. You didn't do work the whole time did you?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you go and look around."

"To many people in the streets."

"Man, I wouldn't care. I'd want to go to a video game store, that would be awesome. Besides there are people every were. Even here."

"Yes but not in that great of a number."

"Oh, well. Next time you go, take me with you. I wanna see, and I woulnd't stop nagging you unless you took me along. Can you speak a little Japanese?"

"I ..Can understand the sentence structure and some words. However I can't put my own thoughts together."

"Then how'd you talk to the business people?"

"Most of them spoke English."

"Well, I guess almost everyone speaks English. I don't think I could learn a second language. I hardly understated English grammar. You know some of my classmates have the nerve to make fun of the way I talk? I don't see what's wrong with using the word ain't. They can kiss my ass. But some people in college are like that, they think they're so smart." Naruto sticks out his tongue. "You don't' speak any other languages right?"

"Latin."

"Are you serious? You never told me about that!"

"You never asked."

"Ok you got me there, but Latin. That's awesome, you could like creep people out using that language. Like chanting some crazy stuff in a low voice. Make them think you're possessed. How'd you learn Latin?"

"Self taught. Before I met you I use to own a Catholic bible, which was in Latin. However my father had taken it from me, saying that God would never accept me into his kingdom of heaven. Therefor the book was wasted on me."

"Your dads such a jerk. I'm glade you don't' have to talk to him anymore. I don't know much about him, but I don't care to know. Cause to me it seems like he never even tried to understand you. Besides people say other people will go to hell all the time. I don't' think you're such a bad person that you would end up there." I feel a warmth within my chest as those words reach my ear. However my face stays emotionless. I can't say I necessarily agree with Naruto. I think that I have done wrong…but everyone has done wrong in his or her life. I've stopped caring about other peoples' opinion a long time ago, I've grown comfortable with myself. Naruto looks at his watch and lets out a sigh.

"I guess I better get going. I don't' want to be late for work."

"Do you wish me to drive you?" I question putting down my brush.

"Well, if you don't mind," my muse says with a wide grin.

**Naruto's POV**

I enter my dorm room, and head to my closet to get out my work clothes. When I turn around and see Kiba at his desk I nearly jump.

"Man you scared me, I didn't see you there," I say Kiba's dark eyes make contact with mine, but he says nothing. "You hanging in there?" I ask, taking off my shirt. Kiba turns his head; I roll my eyes.

"I've been thinking…a lot…I've stayed out of Shino's way all day," My roommate mumbles.

"Well that's understandable you need time to think," I say, buttoning up my work shirt.

"Naruto..I've been thinking about what you said. You know about doing it with some random guy just to see if I'm going through a phase…"

"It'll be easy enough to pick someone up. It's like you said people our age have one night stands all the time."

"Yeah…" Kiba drags the word out, making me wonder what he's thinking. I slip into my pants, and tie my apron around my waist.

"Well good luck finding yourself," I say giving my friend a pat on the shoulder. It's upsetting to see him so confused, but I can't help but find it a little funny. I mean come on, I know it sounds cruel, but it's funny!

"Um…Naruto?" Kiba questions finally making eye contact with me again.

"Yeah?" I ask looking at my watch. I'm not anywhere close to being late. So I guess a couple more minutes of talking to Kiba won't hurt.

"Um…I was thinking..Maybe..Well I don't know where to look for some guy to experiment on…Well what I'm trying to say is..will you..um help me out?"

"Sure, I can take you to a dance club, or something." I say cheerfully.

"No..That's not what I mean. I mean…I'd rather do it with you, then some guy I don't know."

I stiffen and stare at the brunette. "Oh no, hell no!"

"Naruto please? It wouldn't mean anything, just a one time thing."

"It would mean a lot! It would mean I'd be cheating on Gaara! I've held out long enough while waiting for him. Now I got him back, I ain't taking any chances," I snap at my friend heading for the door. He grabs my wrist.

"Gaara doesn't have to know," he says softly.

"I'm not doing it Kiba, there's not way!"

"It can be a secret just between us."

"No…Even if Gaara never found out. I'd feel to guilty…I'm not dealing with that. Find someone else!"

"Naruto."

"Don't Naruto me! Find another guinea pig," I tug my hand out of his tight grasp, and walk out the door slamming it behind me.

How could he even think I would do anything like that!? I mean seriously…I wouldn't be able to face Gaara. I don't' need this drama. Kiba has to deal with his own problems. My lifes straightening out, everything is right were I want it to be. I'm back together with Gaara, and everything so far is fine between us, just like old times. I'm not gong to risk all that just cause Kiba's having trouble figuring out if he's gay or not. In my opinion, he's a major closet case. But I'm not going to be that final step that makes him jump out of the closet rainbow flag in hand! He should just suck it up and figure it out himself. Find some guy, preferably not me, fuck him and then compare it to a girl. But I'm not going to be that one night stand.

I enter my place of employment, with a heavy sigh. I'm just going to get to work and forget about Kiba, and his crazy ideas.

"Hey Naruto," Sakura says cheerfully, I give her a wave, before going to light all the candles on the tables.

"Did you pull and all nighter again?" she questions obviously wonder why I'm not my usual loud and energetic self. I don't' answer the girl.

"Hey, you ok?"

"I'm fine," I say focusing on lighting the candles. However Sakura is intent on following me around.

"Something happen?"

"No," I say plainly. Not really wanting to talk about it. Like I said, I just want to block everything out by working.

"You—"

"Naruto!" Ino's voice echo's through out the small café.

I let out a heavy sigh and look at the blonde. "Yeah?"

"Do you know what's up with Kiba?" she asks hand on her hip.

"No, why?" I say hoping that my acting is good enough to fool her.

"Well Hinata's really fallen for him. And today after class she had ask him out for another date, or at least that's what she told me. But anyway she said he totally rejected her. I though their date went well. What the hell happened?"

"I don't know."

"Well you should, he shares a dorm with you after all! Hinata's all upset!" Ino says throwing her hands up in the air.

"Sorry, all he told me when I asked about his date, was that it was fine." I say shrugging and lighting the last candle. Ino doesn't seem to be catching on to my lies. Of course I know what's wrong with Kiba, but I'm keeping myself out of this. It's bad enough Kiba's trying to drag me in by trying to get me to sleep with him. I'm not going to tell Ino what's going on, so she can pass it on to Hinata and break the poor little girl's heart. No Kiba can clean up his own goddamn messes.

"Well, will you try and talk to him? Hinata's really confused. She thinks she may have done something wrong," Ino explains in a sad tone.

"I'll see what I can find out," I say putting on a fake smile.

"Thanks," she says walking away. Sakura looks at her and then to me.

"Well I'm completely lost," she mutters out. I say nothing, and am grateful when our first customer comes in.

**A/N:** My computer is fucking up for some reason, so it made it hard to edit this chapter, sorry.


	5. a hint of trouble

Chapter 5: A hint of trouble

**Naruto's POV**

My head rests on Gaara's lap, while a bowl of popcorn has made itself comfortable on my stomach. Occasionally I'm graced with the pleasure of having Gaara feed me absentmindedly. This particular time when his fingers lead a piece of popcorn towards me lips, I engulf them, suggestively. I catch Gaara's green eyes glance at me for a moment, but then his hand reaches back into the bowel and he feeds himself. I pout, because I got no reaction from him. And really the movie has lost my interest, though it seems to be rather entertaining for Gaara. It's not a bad movie, it's just that Gaara's more interesting.

"You know, you hardly ever eat. This is the first time I've ever seen you eat since we found each other. All day yesterday I didn't see you eat," I point out just having realized it myself. Ontop of that, Gaara is only eating one piece of popcorn at a time, giving me more then he's consuming himself.

"I ate after you left," he says plainly.

"I find that hard to believe," After all I'm the one who made the popcorn and after rummaging around in Gaara's kitchen I noticed how very empty it was. Gaara's always been skinny, he's skinny now too; but I don't want him to be malnourished. Gaara doesn't respond to me, and keeps his eyes locked to the screen. I let my own eyes travel back to the screen, where presently someone is being killed. It's a horror movie just like I wanted to see. But it's a little creepy, and Gaara's been holding my attention for the most part. However it seems that the facial contortions, mystery, puppets, and murder all are very entertaining to my boyfriend. The movie is called Dead Silence, like I said it's not bad; but being so close to Gaara in such a peaceful and intimate setting makes me lose interest in the film.

The movie goes on and I only half pay attention; enjoying every time I'm feed by pale fingers. The only noticeable change in Gaara, is that he's a little more open. Or at least it seems that way. Maybe it's because he feels very at ease and comfortable around me; maybe it's because he's missed me. Either way the feeling is mutual. He's still quiet for the most part, and his face mainly emotionless, however I've learned to read the small changes that convey just the tiniest hint of emotion. I've known him long enough after all; we really are picking up were we left off. I let a big grin grace my lips, life couldn't be more perfect. Well…except for the whole Kiba thing. But that's not really my problem. I've been avoiding him, even going so far as to beg Shino to let me stay in his dorm for the night. I didn't give him an explanation as to why, and he didn't press the subject. I ended up sleeping in the same bed as Shino, which freaked out Shikamaru a little—his roommate. Though he didn't let his surprise show too much, and really didn't say much, and just minded his own business. Just like when we were in high school. It's funny a lot of the people that went to our high school go to my college now. Even though it's no were near our old boarding school.

I'm stirred from my thoughts as I feel the weight of the popcorn bowl silently be lifted from my belly. I look up and see that the movie credits are rolling. I sit up with a smile, and stay seated as Gaara puts away the now empty bowl.

"You have to work tonight, right?" He questions in a low tone. I can see him quickly wash out the bowl in the kitchen, before storing it away in a cabinet.

"Yup."

"You're going to be late."

"What!?" I get up and run to the kitchen to look at he stove clock, Gaara was right. "Oh shit."

"The movie ran long," he says in an almost apologetic tone.

"That's fine, it was my idea anyway. You don't mind giving me a ride right? Maybe speeding a little?"

"If I get pulled over, you're paying for the ticket, "Gaara explains dully, going to a small closet by the door. He pulls out two helmets.

"You bought one just for me?" I ask sweetly, Gaara doesn't respond. Instead we just make our way down to the parking lot. I hurry Gaara along a little, playfully.

I burst threw my dorm door, and run to pull out my work uniform.

"Naruto-"

"No time to talk Kiba," I say cutting my friend off. Actually I don't want to hear what he has to say, or any more crazy plans he may have come up with. I pull on my work shirt, having a hard time pulling it over my head, seeing as I didn't unbutton it. But it works out after a little bit of a struggle, and I jump into my pants, and grab my apron. Kiba watched me the whole, time occasionally his mouth opened as if he wanted to speak, but I ignored him.

I run down to the little café, and practically stumble into the establishment; breathing heavily. "You're ten minutes late, Naruto," Sakura is kind enough to inform me.

"Sorry," I gasp out breathlessly.

"Lucky for you we haven't had any customers yet, and I lit all the candles and such," She says taking a seat at one of the tables, waiting for someone to come in. I sit down in front of her, resting my head on the table, and catching my breath.

"So what was the hold up?" Sakura asks.

"I was watching a movie, and I didn't keep track of the time," I explain.

"Movie? Like in a theater?"

"No I was watching it with my bo—It's not important," I say with a wave of my hand. I don't think it's any of Sakura's business if I have a boyfriend, and she'll only bug me about. Especially since she knows who Gaara is…in a way. Sakura's bright green eyes—not as lovely as Gaara's—look at me suspiciously.

"Was someone out on a date, perhaps?"

"Aw, it's no big deal."

"Oh yes it is. Aren't you the one who turns down all those phone numbers the occasional customer gives you?"

"That's cause most of them are girls!"

"Well, there where a few guys, and you know it. So who'd you go out with?" I look at the door hoping someone would come in, but nothing.

"Stop being so nosy." I tell the pink haired girl.

"Oh come on Naruto! You're gay, you should be blurting the details out like a little school girl," Sakura whines.

"You never tell me about your love life," I retort.

"That's because my boyfriends no fun to talk about," she says with a twirl of her wrist.

"Well neither is mine," I say sticking out my tongue. Sakura opens her mouth, but then the chime of the bell indicates we have a customer. Sakura gets up takes a pair of menus and say good evening. I get up to, and go to the back to see if Ino's around. I'm sure the two customers won't make up their mind on what they want to order until a bit later. But once we get busy, Ino better show up, cause I'm not handling all the customers on my own. I don't find the blonde girl.

I walk back out and go to the couple seated at a table, looking at a menu.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh we haven't decided yet."

"Take your time," I duck away and go up to Sakura. "Where's Ino?"

"She's out back talking to someone," Sakura tells me.

"Well she needs to get to work," I muse, as I notice five more people enter.

It doesn't take long until all the tables are occupied, and Ino shows up ready to help. There's a sign by the small platform we call a stage, the reads "open mike night, any poet welcome." However no one has stepped up to take the offer, though smooth Jazz plays quietly in the background. We hardly ever play CD music, but I suppose we weren't able to book any live performers this evening. It's kinda quiet this way, with just a hint of background music, it's eerie. But conversations fill the air too, whispers between friends, lovers. The stillness causes me to whisper as well as I take peoples orders.

Sakura ask me if it's possible I could keep and eye on the door while I do my job, seeing as she ant's to take a short break. It's slowed down a little and so I agree that I can handle the task.

"Well I would recommend, the vanilla bean cake," I tell a female who ask me my opinion on which cake she should have with her coffee.

"Mmm, sounds good, I'll take it," she says cheerfully, handing me the menu. Her friend who's already ordered does the same.

"I'll get that for you right away then," I say happily and the girl gives me a little giggle. I walk away as the two start to converse in high-pitched voices among themselves. I put away the menus, and the bell above the door rings. I look back to see if any tables are available before setting eyes on the person who came in.

"Kiba? What the hell are you doing here?" I ask in a hushed tone.

"Well you've been avoiding me, and shit. I'm just here to ask you that favor one last time. Just hear me out," he tells me.

"I heard you the last time, and the answer is still no."

"Ok, but I mean maybe it doesn't have to be such an extreme."

"What do you mean?" I ask the brunette with a lifted eyebrow.

"Well I mean, when I kissed Hinata I felt nothing, right? So maybe if I kiss a boy, that'll be enough for me to compare," Kiba tells me.

"You've got to be kidding. And you want me to kiss you?" Kiba nods. "Why not kiss Shino? I mean if you really care for him in that way, then if you share a kiss with him, you'll defiantly be sure."

Kiba gives me a pleading look, "Dude if I do that, and then I'm like, "Well never mind Shino, just forget that happened." He'll never talk to me again, you know how Shino is. He's sensitive, and can hold a grudge for a damn long time!"

I look around, to see if any one is look. I pull Kiba a little bit into the hall by the entrance, which leads to the bathroom.

"Don't ask me for another favor again," I say sternly. Every thing seems to slow down as I lean in. I can feel a tinge of guilt bubble up inside me already. But it really means nothing, and it's only a kiss. I pull Kiba down so he meets me half way and our lips crush together. I pull away taking in a breath of air, and I open my mouth to speak, but out of the corner of my eye I notice someone walking towards us. I turn around, just in time, to see a hand reaching out towards me. Said hand grabs me by my collar and roughly pulls me forward.

"You don't know what's up with Kiba, huh?" Ino hisses out, her eyes glaring at me before landing on Kiba.

"How could you lead poor Hinata on?"

"I-I didn't mean to…." Kiba mutters.

"And you," Ino turns her attention back to me. "You hooked them up to begin with, and now you're trying to keep him for yourself. What kind of sick bastard are you?"

I push Ino away, I'm so not in the mood for this. "It's not my fault Kiba's confused."

" I wouldn't say so! You just fucking kissed him!"

"He asked me too!" I snap aback at the blonde.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. You gays, always trying to turn everyone else gay. It's fucking gross. Just cause you want to be that way doesn't mean everyone else wants to be. I can't believe you'd do something like this. I thought you and Hinata where friends."

"Don't talk like you know what's going on!" I say pushing past her. "Get back to work," I add as an after thought. Why the hell am I getting blamed for this? I didn't do anything, I didn't even know Kiba was going to start questioning his sexuality, let alone that he'd ask to make out with me. He was getting on my nerves; I just had to get him off my back. And were does that leave me? On Ino and probably Hinata's too. And where does Ino get off saying that crap about gays? Yeah I totally just woke up one day and decide I would be gay, just for the hell of it. And then I'm gonna go out and turn every man I know gay; just cause it would be fun. What a damn bitch!

**Gaara's POV**

A knock sounds through out my apartment. I get up, and look at the stove clock as I pass it by. The clock read eleven thirty. I look through the peek whole just as another knock comes. I see familiar tuffs of blonde hair. I take off the chain lock, and open the door.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I simply nod, noticing the aggravated expression upon my muse's face.

"What prompted this?" I question as I close the door after Naruto has entered.

"I just don't' want to be around Kiba," he mutters out, his blue eye connecting with mine. Guilt running through them, so easy to read. I don't question anything though, if Naruto wishes to extend more information then he will on his own. My blonde walks toward the living room, where the television is running. He lets himself drop on the couch, letting his hands run over his face. I quietly sit next to him.

"Kiba always…he just always causes some sort of shit to happen," he growls out. I study him, expecting him to go on. However Naruto does not speak, I do not urge him on. His eyes look towards the TV, and then back at me. Again I can read him plainly, and guilt still lingers.

"Kiba…well I told you about how he was all like, "I don't know if I'm straight", and shit. He wanted me to sleep with him! Can you believe he had to nerve to ask that?" Something within me twitches, and I can't help but let out a low sound of disappointment. However I do not voice my opinion about the boy who my muse is currently speaking of. It's simple, I was never very fond of him; and it seems that he's caused my muse some turmoil yet again. Naruto rest his head on my shoulder, I let him do so.

"I kissed him..." He mutters out, and I notice his eyes look up at me pleadingly. Again something within me twitches, except this feeling I know well. Slight betrayal, however it was just a kiss. It is just rather disappointing to hear such a thing.

"Are you mad?" My muse questions, fidgeting a little. I think carefully about what I'm about to say; I do not want it to come out wrong. Expressing myself is not my forte.

"It was only a kiss…" I trail off hesitant about my words, "From past experiences, I don't find Kiba to be a very reasonable person." I say looking at Naruto. It is not that I am mad at Naruto, it is that I'm aggravated with his friend. Though that tinge of betrayal still lingers in the back of my mind. I know I am probably letting it eat at me. Why? Because I've always been wary about human contact, about being attached to someone, since my uncle died. The fact of the matter is, once you become attached to someone you are bound to be disappointed at some point. Though I do not make bonds easily and do not find it necessary to have many, the one I have with my muse; I wish to keep. He has a strange effect on me, he coaxed me out from within myself and was able to get me to converse with him. To get me to take that risk of being hurt by letting myself be attached to someone again. It's only a minor betrayal, one that was prompted by a third party. It is easily forgivable.

"I know that's why I really don't feel like being around him right now," Naruto sighs out looking at the ground. "He even got me into trouble with this chick at my job. She said some pretty stupid stuff. I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow."

"Don't let people bother you so much," I say in a monotone voice.

"Easy for you to say..but I can't just do that," Naruto says with a sigh. I say nothing in return. Naruto has always been around people, he's always forced himself upon someone. It is true, I wouldn't imagine ignoring people would be easy for him.

My muse leans in wrapping his arms around my forearm childishly. "Maybe you could come for a visit for a while, tomorrow at the café. It'd make me feel better."

"If you'd like." Naruto gives me a smile.

"Oh but don't talk to the pink haired girl," He says, I give him a questioning look. "She's trying to find out about our relationship, I kinda wanna keep her in the dark. It's fun." Naruto explains. "Oh she knows who you are too. She likes your art. I think that's why she' so interesting in finding out if I'm dating you. She saw the picture you dropped off for me earlier this week. She recognized your style right away." My muse goes on, and I listen like I always do; only giving minor responses. Then suddenly a sentence is interrupted by a yawn.

"If you're tired you should go to sleep," I point out plainly.

"Are you going to sleep?" I shake my head. "You should sleep more."

"Sometimes I can't," I say plainly. Tonight is one of those nights were my mind is too wide-awake to crave for rest. I had just finished some of the work I had to do for my classes an hour before. I am still awake though, and it's become obvious to me that tonight sleep will not grace me.

"Well…" Naruto looks at the ground and then cheerfully makes eye contact with me. "Won't you lay in the bed with me?" I see no harm in doing so.

"Can you sleep with a light on?" I question.

"I can sleep through anything, the light won't bother me." I nod, and my muse bounces up off the couch. I barley have time to turn off the TV as I'm being pulled away.

We walk up the small flight of stairs leading to my bedroom; and while Naruto makes himself comfortable on my bed, I drag in a light from my studio. So that it won't be such a bright light, just enough illumination so that I may read; to keep my mind occupied. So the night won't seem to long in my insomniac state.

Once I set up the light, I sit on the bed, which Naruto is already curled up in. His shoes and shirt on the floor. I take out a book, "Paradise lost and Paradise regained", an old work of poetry complementing my taste in literature. Once I'm under the covers in a sitting position, I feel an arm snake over my stomach, and a head rests on my hip. I look down at Naruto his eyes closed, and I can't help the small twitch of my lip as I take in the sight.

A/N: I change the catogory from angst to Darma, cuz i think it fits better in drama.


	6. Other developments

Lemon (chapter backup will be put on livejournal in case of deletion.)

Chapter 6: Other developments

**Gaara's** **POV**

As promised I enter Naruto's place of work, and spot him immediately. Finding him to be a more attractive sight hen the blonde haired women giving me a strange look behind the podium. She gets out a menu and the look disappears.. I'm use to people giving me wary glances, I think nothing of it. Except that I assume they are shallow; maybe it is unfair for me to think so. But I'm sure they've made up an opinion about me in their mind; why should I not do the same?

"I'll lead you to a table," she says politely, and I follow here wordlessly, hardly acknowledging her at all. I'm seated between two other small tables. One holding a rather love stricken couple in it, the other a lone black haird boy. After being handed the menu I glance over at Naruto yet again. He seems to be trying to scoot away from the pink haired girl, however she insists on speaking with him, and only follows. This must be the girl he had told me about.

The day was uneventful, Naruto had come to visit; however was late cutting our time together short. He was late because he was studying at he library; which is perfectly understandable. I went to my afternoon classes, basically ignoring most of my classmates. They still seem amazed I've reappeared.

Finally my muse approaches. "What will you have cutie," he says in a sing song voice. That rhythm and rhyme only his voice holds, and it still fascinates me.

Something within me lightens a little. Possibly the opening effect Naruto has upon me. "I hardly find it appropriate that you're flirting with a customers," I say attempting to give him back the same playful tone he gave me. However my voice fails me, and it comes out monotone as always. None the less my muse, knowing me better then anyone else, catches my attempt. His smile only grows wider.

"Well I hope you won't report me to my manger," he says with a slight laugh. "What'll you have?" he adds quickly, a shining happiness obviously radiating off him. So easily he can communicate even when he does not speak.

"Just coffee, black," I say plainly. My muse gives me a nod.

"I'll get that for you right away. And thanks for coming," Naruto says taking his leave. I look around dully, the sage holds a singer and a guitarist upon it. A sad sort of song escaping the singers lips.

I spot the pink haired girl yet again, she is looking at he table next to me, and then her eyes shift to land on me. A smirk comes over her face, and when Naruto appears from the kitchen a platter in hand she grabs him. Skillfully my muse balances the tray not allowing it to drop as he's pulled back. She whispers something to him, and he rolls his sky blue eyes. The blonde girl who had lead me in approaches them, and she appears to be scolding the two, a hateful glare directed at Naruto. Who only seems to get annoyed and take his leave quickly.

I watch him as he stops by another table placing a slice of cake in front of a girl, and a short little chat ensues between the two. But it is very brief. I would never be able to stand to do his job, there is too much interaction involved. Again the differences between us are made obvious, however it only seems comforting.

A cup of coffee is placed in front of me. Completely black, no milk has been added. No sugar either seeing as there are packages of sugar on the table. So that you may put as much as you please into your drink.

"Sakura's spotted you. She's itching for answers. She's pretty sure about herself, and the fact that we must have some sort of relationship," Naruto says with amusement. "It's almost closing time and it's dying down, so don't be surprised if she approaches you."

"I doubt I'd strike up conversation with her, and reveal anything," I say plainly letting two fingers slip around the handle attached to the cup of coffee.

"No surprise there," Naruto says playfully. I take a sip of my drink and Naruto wrinkles his nose.

"I can't believe you can just drink that with no milk or sugar." He says, I shrug slightly.

"Well someone's trying to get my attention," he says absentmindedly trotting off towards a table were a man is holding up a leather booklet; the kind that comes with the bill.

I go back to drinking my coffee, noticing as a chair is pull up next to me. When I shift my eyes I see a girl with pink hair, the same girl Naruto warned me about.

"I admire your art greatly," She says casually.

"Thank you," I say plainly, simply to be polite.

"I like how your subjects are always blonde, yet they're in such dark places. Its quiet a contrast," She says looking past me for a moment at the boy at the next table. "Much to my boyfriends dismay. He seems to think I favor your art over his," she says the statement somewhat loudly, I do not respond. She looks at me hesitantly for a moment, fidgeting a little.

"So how do you know Naruto?"

I bring the cup of coffee to my lips again, a long silence comes over us. But she seems to be patient. "High school," I say plainly.

"He must be very important to you," she asks slight confidence in her voice. I say nothing. " I mean since you sent him a picture and all."

"Sakura you think all artist are gay," I hear a cold voice, and notice the girl's face contort into irritation.

"Go back to eating your cake Sai. And don't act so jealous."

"Jealous?" The boy at the other table asks.

The girl rolls her eyes and gives me an apologetic look. For what I do not know; then she takes her leave. I direct my attention back to my drink.

"So you're Gaara," The boy named Sai questions. I say nothing, I believe the answer to that is obvious.

"You shouldn't be so smug," he says with a hint of malice. I am not smug, I simply do not enjoy speaking to people. My continued silence aggravates him. "Just because you can throw some paint together doesn't mean anything. Your work is sketchy, and mediocre."

"Critique is welcomed," I say simply finding his tone rather annoying. However he is no one I would concern myself with.

"Well then, your body proportions are horrible, and you're way to depressing. On the other hand my art seems to have life, " he ads proudly.

"Everyone has their own tastes," my indifference only aggravates him more. I finish my cup of coffee. The boy says nothing more to me; and I am grateful for it. I've never though art to be a competition, but it seems that this boy think other wise. Or somehow sees me as a threat. At least this is what I conclude from his tone of voice.

"Come on Sai the café's closing. It was nice to talk to you Gaara." The pink haired woman says. "I'm sure you'll be leaving with Naruto," she giggles. When I look up I notice that the café is rather empty, only a few people are making their way to the door. I feel arms wrap around my neck.

"Mind if I spend the night with you again?" Naruto ask seductively.

"Not at all," I say plainly. He takes my empty cup.

"Well can we stop by my dorm, so I can get a change of clothes. Hopefully Kiba won't try and talk to me."

"That's fine," I say, not at all surprised that my blonde is still avoiding his friend. Naruto carries away the porcelain cup.

**Naruto's** **POV**

I open the door to my dorm and find Kiba on his bed a book in hand. He gives me a glance. "How was work? Did Ino bother you again?" I say nothing, tilting my head up slightly to make it obvious I don't want to speak with him.

"Dude look I'm sorry. I just..I guess the situation just kinda drove me crazy. I needed some sort of answer."

"Yeah well you can answer Hinata's question, and explain to her what's going on. I was at the library today and she was rather upset with me," I snap at him.

"Yeah I'll talk to her. Sorry you got dragged into this."

"Whatever," I mutter out garbing a bag and stuffing some cloths in it, along with other necessary things. No more words are exchanged, Kiba doesn't even ask where I'm going when I exit the room.

I get on the back of Gaara's motorcycle, pulling on my bag so it won't get in the way. I slept peacefully last night with Gaara, though I know he didn't sleep at all. Maybe he'll get some rest tonight.

I rummage through Gaara's Kitchen, "You really don't have a lot of food. Are you sure you get enough to eat?"

"Yes," he answers me plainly leaning on the counter.

"Well you should eat more anyway," I say deciding an apple will have to do for a midnight snack. "How's your art going? You still in frenzy? Did you finish that painting of me?"

"Yes I'm still drawing, and yes the painting is done. It's upstairs."

"Oh let me see," I say taking a bite of the apple. We walk upstairs, and Gaara turns on the light in his studio. In the middle of the messy room is the finished painting. I look at it, seeing a lot of changes, and added on things. The picture is of me sitting of course, and within my hand is a skull, a bright green snake slithering out of an eye whole. An apple in his mouth, Poisson dripping down the red fruit. Said fruit is being offered to me. My lips are slightly parted and my eyes look at the viewer; like I'm asking for permission.

"You know I've just now noticed, you've given your paintings more color detail," I smile as I look at the many different shades of green forming the snake's scales. I take a bite of my apple again.

"Funny there's an apple in the picture and I'm eating one," I say with a slight chuckle.

"In Latin the word for evil and apple are the same," Gaara says softly.

"So that snakes trying to get me to join the dark side," I say in a dramatic voice.

"Perhaps." I smile and we both slowly walk out of the studio. Gaara cuts off the light in the process. We find the couch, and sit down. Gaara offers me the remote, I take it, and flip throughout the channels after finishing my snack and throw the core away. I stop on cartoonnetwork, an anime playing. I make myself comfortable on Gaara's shoulder, and watch TV.

Once it becomes too difficult for me to keep my eyes open, I tell Gaara I'm going to bed. He follows cutting off the TV, ready to keep me company. I smile. A bed is just much more comfortable when you're not the only one in it.

* * *

Today is mine and Gaara's one-month anniversary. It's been one month since me and Gaara met again. Which makes it late November now..the month Gaara and me were separated in high school. Thanksgivings coming up soon too. However during this time I was able to talk to Hinata again. I don't' know if Kiba has spoken to her, but as I spoke with her she was friendly, and understanding. Everything is back to normal. She even let me give her a hug, though it left her blushing. However Ino is not so forgiving. She's been making my life a living hell at the café. I don't' know how she did it but she convinces the manger that I need more tables to keep me occupied. I have to take care of seventy five percent of the customers now! Damn bitch, I hate her. She always sneers at me, and glares too. On top of that Shino has mysteriously disappeared. I haven't seen him in school, and I've asked Kiba –one the only times I talked to him, cause I'm still pissed—if he's seen Shino. He was worried and said he hadn't, and that all the other Biology majors haven't seen him either, except for occasionally in class; but that was rare. It's not like Shino to miss his classes; he loves science and stuff. He's never missed a lecture since he started college, and now he's showing up rarely? It's just strange. However the weirdest thing of all is that suddenly this guy named Sai—who I found out is Sakura's boyfriend—is fucking talking about my penis! What the hell's up with that? When I told Gaara about it, he said he had met the guy, and that he's an artist too.

My sweet little red head visits me at the café once every two weeks. And every time he comes this Sai who seems so fascinated about the size of my penis, always talks to him in an insulting manner. Of course it doesn't faze Gaara at all.

"Sakura no offense but can you kick your boyfriend out? He's harassing me again," I whine a note pad and pencil in hand. "I just wanted to take his order, what does that have to do with my dick?"

Sakura burst out laughing. "It's times like these I remember why I'm dating him," she says wiping a tear from her eye.

"You're both nuts," I mutter out.

"Sorry Naruto, I don't know why he's showing up so much. Yeah, he came once before, on one of your off days, but now he's coming to bother me every other day. A girl needs her space."

"And a man needs his self-esteem," I say. Sakura just laughs.

"I'm sure that your penis isn't as small as Sai thinks it is." She tells me patting me on the shoulder.

"It's not! And he has no idea!" I say in a huff. "Doesn't it bother you that he talks like that?"

"Oh no, when we first started dating he told me he is Bi. He likes to tease men every so often, but he's never cheated on me. He's an emotionless cold-hearted bastard who's full of himself, but he believes in monogamy. A guy like that is hard to find…though I wouldn't' mind walking in on him with another guy.." Sakura floats off into her fantasy word.

I snap my fingers in front of her face, "Staywith me Sakura."

"Oh sorry," Then suddenly a smirk spreads over her face, and fear strikes my heart. "You know Gaara's been showing up a lot, and you always spend so much time at his table."

"No I don't," I say waving my notepad in the air. It's pretty empty tonight, and all my customers seem to be satisfied for now, so I have plenty of time to chat with Sakura.

"Oh yes you do. Oh yeah Sai wanted to know how big his penis is, I though I would ask you."

"What!"

"Joking, joking," she laughs her ass off. "No Sai never asked him anything like that. I guess Sai just thinks you're cute and that's why he's picking on you so much." Sakura explains. Not that I really care to know why her boyfriends a freak.

"You know I liked it better when your love life was ignored, along with mine."

"So you admit you have a love life?"

"Every one as a love life, just different kinds," I say trying to make myself less suspicious but it has the opposite affect.

"Naruto, just say it. Gaara only draws blondes, I've looked over some of his paintings and they look suspiciously like you. On top of that he gifted you a painting! And I can't help but think he was talking about you in that article."

I stare at Sakura and finally let out a sigh, "Fine, fine, I'm dating the famous Gaara Sabaku," I say with a little bit of a drama queen voice.

Sakura squeals, " I knew it! I love being right!" I she pumps her fist up in the air. "You two make such a cute couple by the way."

"Just don't go blurting it out to everyone. I don't want the poperatzy at my dorm," I tell her.

"Don't worry your secret's safe with me. Except I must warn you," she lays her hand on my shoulder, "That I will be going 'aww' every time I see you two together."

"You're insane."

**Gaara's POV**

I am working on a painting when my cell phone rings. I recognize the number as my manager's. "Yes?"

"I just got a call from someone who's interested in your photography skills," My manager says the delight in his voice obvious.

"Who?" I question dully; balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder, so that I may continue my painting. I am sitting on the floor my legs crossed, finally painting that picture of 'Shiva' Naruto gave me the idea for.

"A producer, of a horror movie. He want's you to take a picture that he can use as a poster. Along with another photo to go on the DVD cover, and DVD menu page once it comes out. Are you interested?"

"What is the movie about?" I ask dully, putting down my paintbrush for the moment.

"Something about a cursed town, and how the rain consumes a boy, and there are demon children. I wasn't paying attention. It's called, "Rain is Red," if that helps any."

No it didn't. "Set up a telephone conference with the producer, I want to know what the movie is about, and then I shall give him my answer," I say in a business voice.

"Will do," My manager says, and like always I do not say goodbye; but simply hang up.

A knock comes at my door, and I know that it is Naruto. Seeing as I was just on the phone with my manager, and there would be no other person to come visit me. I feel slight relief at the thought of my muse being here. I've gotten use to him, just like in high school. I have become content again, and my art is flourishing. Which is rather good since my vacation is over. I've gotten use to my nymph's endless songs again, the rambling, which sometimes is meaningless but for the most part enjoyable. It reminds me that he enjoys talking to me. Enjoys keeping my company; and even though he knows so much about me, he doesn't label me. I am not a murder to him, I am not an outcast, I am not a flaw. Or so he makes me feel. I know I have flaws, all people do, but they do not seem so obvious when my muse is by my side. I almost forget, as if his constant rhythmic conversations are some sort of spell. He is the only human I will connect to willingly. My manger is a must. He works for me, therefore I don't feel the need to connect with him in a friendly manner or put of with constant rambling from him. He's gotten use to the treatment, and we understand each other. As long as he gets his cut of the money he seems fine with my lack of hospitality.

I open the door, and Naruto's beaming face greets me, along with the bright day light. I step aside to let him in. "So how's your day been?" He asks, but doesn't wait for an answer, "oh first let me tell you about what happened today. It's kinda annoying. I was in the library talking to Hinata, you know I've told you about her," I give him a slight nod. He walks out in front of me, making himself comfortable on the couch, and patting the seat next to him. I obey, and he continues with his story.

"Well I was talking to her in the library, we usually study together. We were talking about a good way to meet new people, since she wants to enter the dating game, but really doesn't have the confidence for it. When out of seemingly no where here comes Ino. You know the bitch blonde at my job that hates me. She said that the only dating game I knew was how to steal peoples crushes, from both men and women. When I glared at her and asked what she meant, she said, for me to go ask Shino. I have no idea were Shino is, but I have a feeling he knows that I kissed Kiba. Why's all that shit have to happen?" He sighs out, but then puts on a happy face.

"Hopefully Shino will be reasonable. I know once I get the chance to explain, along with Kiba, stuff will work out just fine."

"You shouldn't have kissed him in the first place," I mutter out. Seeing the logic, if he hadn't done that favor for his 'friend' he wouldn't be having all these unnecessary problems.

"You're not going to hold that against me are you?" he asks somewhat shyly.

It's then that I notice how very cold and rude my voice had sounded when I spoke those words. I am just not very good at conveying my meaning to people. "No, it's just you wouldn't have to be dealing with this. If he simply had left you out of his problem," I attempt to explain. My blonde smiles, and nods.

"Yeah, but I can't go back and undo it," a slight sigh escapes his lips, as he lets his smile fall for a moment. He's always done that, smiled when it wasn't necessary, old habits die-hard. "So tell me about your day."

I nod slightly, and look at the floor for a moment, "It was average," I say plainly.

"Average how?' Naruto question, urging me to continue talking.

"I didn't leave to go anywhere. I was just completing a painting, for a private collector. My manager called."

"What did he say?" Naruto questions, enthralled by my talking, no matter how boring and monotone it is

"Someone wishes me to do some work for their film."

"What do you mean? Like costumes or something?"

"No, cover art, and premier posters, things such as that."

"Are you going to do it?" I shrug slightly. "Don't' you think it'd be fun?"

"I've set up a phone meeting, so they can tell me what he movie is about. Then I'll make up my mind," I explain. Naruto nods in approval.

"Do you at least know the genre of the movie?"

"Horror," I say plainly; and this brings a wide grin to my nymph's face.

"Of course only a horror film would show interest in you beautiful and morbid art," he says with a dramatic wave of his hand and a slight chuckle. He leans against my shoulder, blue eyes looking up at me. "It's still hard to believe you're art is so popular."

"I didn't expect it to be blown out of proportion such as this," I tell him.

"Well at least you're getting paid for doing something you love to do," Naruto points out the brighter side. I nod. "I don't' have to work tonight," My muse says thoughtfully. "Wanna do something?"

"Like what?" I question.

"We…could..hmm..go out to eat somewhere?" He offers.

"I'm not really hungry…but if you'd like."

"You're never hungry," Naruto huffs out, poking my stomach. "You need to go on a reverse diet, before you weather away."

"I've been doing just fine with my weight," I mutter out. Naruto gives me a look of disbelief.

"You're taller then me, but probably five pounds lighter," he points out. "If not more." When I do not reply Naruto lets out a soft, and lightly concerned sigh. He gets to his feet looking at me expectantly.

"Come on let's go get you fed," he urges.

**Naruto's** **POV**

"It seems like life has just gotten more …I don't know…troublesome. I mean not because of you or anything," I tell Gaara with a smile as I scan over the menu. "It's just Kiba never gave me any trouble before, then all of a sudden this. Shino's probably pissed at me cause of that Ino bitch. I want to fix it but at the same time.." I trail off letting my eyebrows frown together. I'm looking at the words on the menu but I see nothing. It's really a bother, but it explains Shino's disappearance…At least Hinata isn't bitter. But still I didn't want to hurt Shino…the poor guy. Ino has some nerve breaking his heart with her lies! Whatever it is that she's told him..

"It's not really your mess to clean up," Gaara mumbles, closing his menu and sliding it to his right side.

I stare at him for a moment thinking about what he just said. "In a way I guess it isn't…"

"Then let Kiba handle it," He says plainly.

"But I still want to talk to Shino." Gaara doesn't respond to this, and I smirk. It's just like him not to get to involved. I know I must be annoying him with my chatter about my buddies and me.

"Did you already pick what you want?" I question my red head, wanting to change the subject. He gives me a simple nod. "I don't' know why we had to come to such an expensive restaurant. Gonna make me feel guilty," I pout.

"Money is the least of my problems," Gaara says plainly; I laugh.

"I know, but still."

"Order anything you like; no matter the price," He tells me. There's no emotion behind the words, but his offer still holds a sweet tone.

"Hey Gaara?" Green eyes look up at me, "What are you planing on doing for thanksgiving."

"Nothing."

"You can't just do nothing…um…Hey…you wanna maybe…come meet my adoptive father?" I find myself asking him shyly. I don't' want to push him into an uncomfortable situation. But the idea seems brilliant! At least to me. Gaara's eyes trail off as he silently thinks about the offer.

"…Do you really want me…to meet him?"

"Sure why wouldn't I?' I ask with a slight chuckle and a shake of my head. "It's not like I'm embarrassed or anything," it's at this moment that I realize I haven't told Iruka about Gaara at all…or about the fact that I'm gay. All of a sudden the idea doesn't seem to brilliant anymore.

"If you are sure," Gaara says in a whisper.

"Yeah, though it might surprise him a little…now that I think about it," I tell Gaara. Which doesn't help his confidence. "It'll be fine," I say reassuringly. The waiter approaches us again, and asks for our orders. I choose quickly while Gaara is telling him what he would like. Once we've placed our orders our menu's are taken away.

The rest of the conversations between Gaara and me are pretty much one sided; not that I mind the chance to blab my read heads ears off. I like that I can be so unrestrained around him, and he is always sure to give short answers. To assure me that he is indeed listening and doesn't mind my talking, but instead finds it relaxing. It's always been like this. Everything is so familiar and pleasant, but I can't help feeling that this month won't end well. Maybe it's because I'm a little nervous about Iruka's reaction. I really hadn't noticed that I never told him. But hopefully nothing drastic will happen.

The light switch is flicked on as Gaara steps into his apartment, me right behind him. The night sky is as dark as midnight even though it's only eight thirty. The food in the restaurant was awesome, I never ate anything like that before. The evening was pleasant and now I can't think of anything better then to cuddle up with Gaara on the couch and watch some TV together. Maybe with a little chat now and then, in-between commercials and such.

We do sit down together upon the familiar and comfy couch. Though I much rather use Gaara as a cushion then the pillows on the piece of furniture. My boyfriend doesn't complain as I do just that, and lean on his shoulder. CSI is playing on the television, and a smile just rolls over my lips. I'm not smiling at anything in particular. It's just that, even though the room is dark, and Gaara is for the most part emotionless, I can't help but feel this bubbly pink light shining on me. An air of happiness, content, and normalcy. Something we've never had before, because we've always had to worry about something in the past. But right now we don't' have to worry about a roommate coming in, we don't have to worry about parents, or people spitting on us. It just seems better…there's more freedom. Freedom I won't take for granted.

I feel Gaara's fingers attempt to interlace with mine. I wrap my fingers around his and look up at him. He's watching TV, his expression blank. I swell with more joy as I take in the familiar sight. A natural and overwhelming feeling comes over me, but I attempt to push it aside. My mind only wants to be close to Gaara, however my body is starting to consider a different kind of closeness. A closeness Gaara and me haven't been dwelling on much. Since we've been focusing on building up our relationship again. Oh yes there were a couple of nights with passionate make out sessions, but nothing more. As I recall those incidents other fantasies force themselves forward. Thoughts of blood running down my lips and back make me shiver. I've come to the conclusion over the years—and various porno's later—that I am somewhat masochistic. But I suppose that suits Gaara's blood obsession just fine; if he even still has that fetish.

I look up at my red head, "Hey Gaara," I start softly. Green eyes direct their attention to me. "Do you still, have that blood fetish?"

"Yes..I still mix blood into my paintings. But those I keep for myself," he says, like it is normal conversation. I guess it is, but only between the two of us.

"Well I guess it would freak some people out." I say absentmindedly.

"Exactly why I keep that to myself…I don't want to explain," Gaara mutters out.

I nod my head in agreement, but find my mind only partly listens to the statement. Gaara tilts his head back in question emerald eyes slowly decoding my hidden thoughts.

"Why do you ask?"

I shake my head, "Just wondering is all," I say letting my hand trail down his chest suggestively. Our eyes meet again. Would it be so bad? To just rediscover each other again? I don't' want to rush anything, but at the same time I want to feel him touch me. I haven't been touched in a deeply intimate way for so lone. I think back to the day I lost my virginity, and I can't help wanting to repeat past events. We both close in slowly, as if reading the other's mind. Our lips meet, fitting perfectly together like they always have. This is just what I need. To get my mind off Kiba and his problems, and Ino with her attitude. I just want to think about Gaara, lose my self in pain and pleasure.

**Gaara's POV**

Our lips push against each other softly gently, for now. Then we part needing air.

"Better then Kiba?" I ask genuinely curious, needing some reassurance. I can't pretend to ignore the though, and the fact that it nipped at the back of my brain for brief moment.

"Oh yeah, way better," Naruto says breathlessly before pulling me to him again desperately. "You think we could continue this in your bed?" Naruto ask seductively, between kisses. He pulls away looking me directly in the eye. I stare back for a while.

"Unless…you think it's to soon," he adds.

I shake my head, "We've indulged in such action before."

"Yeah but that was years ago."

"I believe the last passed month has proven not much has changed between us," I reassure him, and he gives me a nod; wiggling out from under me. We head up to my bedroom.

xXx

It's dark with just enough moonlight shining in to allow me sight. My muse lets his tongue play with my lip piercing, occasionally his teeth connect with the metal, as if wishing to rip it out. I cup his cheek in my hand to keep his head still and to direct his tongue's interest away from my piercing. Once my tongue runs over his, he lets out a muffled moan. His hands roam down my back, and I trail away from his lips towards his neck. My hand running up his shirt. Naruto disturbs this contact has he pushes away to take of his shirt, pulling mine off afterward.

He looks at my skin running his fingers over it before softly kissing my collarbone. A comforting though comes to mind as I see how completely infatuated he is with me. It strengthens my belief that he was celibate for the time we were apart; just as I was. Only him.

Naruto's hand trails down my arm and directs my hand to his hips, curling his fingers around mine so that they bend as well. His other hand brings my head down closer to him, our lips connecting again. I feel Naruto's skin on the tip of my fingers. Then Naruto pushes down on my hand causing my nails to penetrate his skin only slightly. Another moan escapes his preoccupied lips. I pull my hand away, and start to nip at his neck. Naruto takes in a deep breath of anticipation. I do not disappoint him as I sink my teeth into him, finding them to be better weapons then finger nails. The liquid that assures me my dear muse is all to real, spills out, I taste it and it brings back memories of our first time.

However I'm taken by surprise when Naruto asks me in a hushed tone, "Make me bleed..more.."

My mind becomes dark, almost animalistic as it runs over the possibilities Naruto has just opened up. The thing he's asked for but yet didn't' bargain for. The many ways you could cause someone pain and make them bleed. So you can see that they truly are a living breathing person, not some dream. I walk toward the door without a word.

"Gaara?" Naruto questions.

"Just a minute," I say in a monotone voice. I hear a loud groan from behind me as I walk out of the room. I go into the kitchen and open a drawer, taking out a rather sharp knife. I inspect it for a moment, making sure it's worthy of my muse. The idea is simply, but very appealing; just like the glimmering knife in my hand. I walk up to my bedroom, hiding the object behind my back. I stride towards my bed, blue eyes watching my every move. I close the distance between Naruto and me as I climb back onto the bed, causing our bare chests rub against one another.

Naruto lets out a slight sigh, "Why did you leave," he says with a slight pout. But soon those pouting lips come to capture mine for a light kiss, before parting so he may here my answer.

"You asked me to make you bleed," I point out letting my nymphs blue eyes catch a glimpse of the knife, before trailing it down his face. I do not cut him, I just let him feel the cool metal. Naruto closes his eyes, and he trembles with excitement. I pull the knife away from his face, and his eyes open again, but I do not make contact. Instead I let my eyes scan over the canvas of skin he's offered to me. I let myself sit upon Naruto, my leg on either side of his hips. I can feel my blondes growing pleasure as I do so. Then something comes to mind and I let the blade touch down for it's first incision. I watch Naruto for his response. He squeezes his eyes shut and bites his lips; before opening his eyes again. Wanting to witness me inflect more injuries. I bring the knife around a sensitive nipple. And soon a swirl appears which I draw out into the middle of Naruto's' chest.

"Gaara," Naruto moans out. I repeat the design on the other side of his chest, and then connect the two lines in the middle. My muse's fingers grip the bed sheets tightly, and a whimper escapes his lips. Drops of blood start to dribble down from the cuts, and I take one finger and draw a line down to Naruto's belly button. I then bend down to take one of my nymph's nipples between my lips. I let my tongue run over the small knob, and Naruto let s out a pleasant sigh. I lap up the blood surrounding the area, while I agitate the injury on the other side of his chest with my nails

"Ugh…ah shit…" Naruto hisses out arching his back up and tilting his head back. The sounds arouse me even more, and I can feel my muse's erection as well. I let my tongue trail over the cuts, taking time to soothe the ones I agitated. Naruto's breathing becomes irregular. I sit up licking my lips, Naruto's azure eyes look up at me fogged by pain and pleasure. I trace the knife over one of the marks on my muse's face. He turns his head to the side abruptly, causing the knife to complete it's action at a faster pace then I intended it to. Naruto lets out another moan at the sensation, and I kiss his cheek my lips stained with blood. Naruto lifts his hips up to rub against me, and the action takes me by surprise. I couldn't stop the small noise of pleasure from escaping my lips.

"Gaara," Naruto whines, again wiggling underneath me causing intoxication friction between us. I finally lift myself up so that I'm on all fours and Naruto can no longer stimulate me. Naruto whimpers at the loss of pressure.

"Stop it I'm not done yet," I whisper in his ear biting his ear lob.

"Urn…but…ah," my muse is unable to form a proper sentence as again I trace the blade down another one of his cheek marks. I sit back down and lick up the drops of blood running down his cheek. Again I lick my lips to clean off the remnants of the crimson liquid. Thinking I've consumed enough of my lover's essence, I bring the knife in front of his lips.

"Lick it," I order him softly. And indeed Naruto's little pink tongue ventures out to clean the knife of all his blood. The sight of him doing this causes a tingle to run down my spine. Once no more blood stains the blade, I lay it ontop of my night stand. My lips go for his and my tongue barges past the barrier, tasting Naruto. This time it's my turn to moan, as his tongue comes to play, giving me yet another taste of his blood; which he's just consumed.

My nymph grinds his hips against me again and breaks the kiss. "Come on," he whines closing his eyes and again grinding against me. "Relieve me."

I slide down his legs, and start to trail kisses starting from the cuts on his chest, which are still bleeding, down to his belly button. I unbutton and unzip his jeans; Naruto lets out a sigh. His hand gently guides mine over his arousal, and another noise escapes his lips.

I remove my hand, leaving Naruto without touch, for the moment. This does not sit well with my muse. "So eager," I say softly. I myself almost don't' notice the words have left my lips.

"Damn right I am. I've waited to long," my nymph moans out, making his words sound like a song. Naruto sits up slightly, reaching out for my lips with his own, and we unite. His hands run down my side, and eventually find the button upon my slacks. He unfastens it and the zipper is next. His lips move to my neck, and he begins to suck all the while slowly sliding down my pants. He pulls me ontop of him again, his head meeting the pillow hard, making the bed shake for a moment.

With fevered kiss and disparate touch, we find ourselves completely exposed, as our underwear falls to the ground. Joining the other articles of clothing that have lost their importance at the moment. Our bodies our close together every inch of Naruto's skin touching my own. And I can feel the blood that has dried on his chest. Naruto wraps his legs around me, telling me he's becoming impatient. However there is one more thing that must happen, before we enter physical bliss. I reopen one of the wounds on Naruto's chest, and my muse gasp. I coat my fingers with the slippery and thick substance.

Then I pull Naruto's legs off me, so that I may adjust him. Naruto obliges willingly, his breath quickening with anticipation. I slid one of my crimson colored fingers into his entrance. Naruto lets out a heavenly sigh, and his manhood seems to twitch. All to eager, all to ready, even though I have only just begun to prepare him.

I slide in yet another finger and stretch him out. Between intakes of much needed air, Naruto moans. I continue to stretch him out until I'm satisfied. My nymphs breathe hitches with excitement as I slowly press into him. His legs come up again, to encircle me, bring me in further. I recall how clumsy and inexperienced we were when we first attempted this. But we are older now, and our bodies seem to know much more. This time Naruto will not cover his mouth, and I will not have to pull his hand away to hear his sweet voice. There is no one we have to hide from here. And if the neighbors hear I could careless. It seems so idiotic to flush or be disgusted when you hear noise you recognize as two people sharing their bodies. I've heard my neighbors before, and it did not disturb me. It is natural. Though for the most part the walls are thick, and possibly they will only here muffled versions of the sounds my muse will give to me.

I give a little more force, and my Naruto withers beneath me. "Harder," he asks me breathlessly, I oblige. He is very content, his song tells me so. His hands go past his head, and he braces himself using the headboard. I go in deeper, harder, rougher, but this is what my muse wishes for. I continue to inflict a pleasurable injury as I find myself also lost in the sensation. As impale my muse receptively with much force, I wonder if it hurts Naruto. He shows me no sign of pain, only urges me on with his sweet song. We watch each other, and only occasionally when it becomes too much Naruto lets his brown eyelashes hide his sky eyes. I observe him; I watch as one hand leaves the headboard. I follow it with my gaze, and as it passes his face I see that Naruto's eyelids are at half mass, only giving me the slights peek of his crystal eyes.

His hand travels down further as I continue my ministration; losing myself slightly. Given myself to my muse, as he offers himself up as well. I feel something close, and it is almost depressing to know this bliss will not last much longer. My nymph touches himself, the sight almost drives me to madness. It only takes a few more strokes until we both cum, experiencing that little death. Calling each other's name at the same time and our words mingle into a language only we can understand.

It settles and I feel just a shiver. I lay down next to Naruto who is staring at the ceiling blissfully. Then he closes his eyes and turns to me, coming close, letting me feel his skin again. Soiling me even more with his essence, which still clings to his stomach with a white shimmer.

xXx

His fingers trace lazy circles on my chest, his eyes remain closed as he lets out a yawn. We have rediscovered one another, and now there is nothing but peace. It seems complete, all is fulfill. All past memories of being an outcast are nothing, as I believe I will not be alone as long as my muse is here.

I sit up causing Naruto's head to slide of my chest. He looks up at me.

"We should clean up. Wash out your wounds," I say plainly. Naruto agrees with me, and with no modesty or fear we both head down to the bathroom that is tucked under the stair case, our clothes still laying useless on the bedroom floor.

A/N: I didn't expect the chapter to be so long. I wanted to introduce Sai and set up some future events, along with a little bit of love'n between our two boys. Somehow that turned into a 12 page endeavor.


	7. Heading out

Chapter 7: heading out

**Naruto's' POV**

I enter my dorm room, at six thirty in the morning. Already I've decided that it'd be ok if I skipped my classes today. Missing a couple of lectures just for today won't be such a big deal. I'll just read a chapter take some notes, and go to my classes tomorrow. Right now all I want to do, is lay down on my bed, and let the lingering aches of last night wash over me until I'm numb. My chest hurts just a little bit, and my lower back is throbbing. Maybe it was too much for me to handle, it's like losing my virginity all over again. Of course Gaara and me were more cautious our first time, and a little inexperienced. So it wasn't as bad. I let out an almost lovesick sigh as a numb pain washes over me again. I know I'm totally weird.

"Naruto?" Kiba sits up in his bed, rubbing his eyes. I completely forgot about him. I turn my face towards Kiba. "You look like shit."

I stare at him blankly, "What?"

"Did you sleep last nigh?"

I grin a little to myself. I got a little playful again while me and Gaara were taking a shower. Though my red head was doing a fine job of ignoring me, and just focusing on cleaning out the cuts on my chest. It wasn't until the water was cut off, that Gaara was having a hard time acting like I wasn't' affecting him.

"Yeah I did," I say. I did sleep…just not a lot I guess. I don't think I look that bad. I mean yeah I noticed I had some darkness under my eyes this morning, but that was nothing compared to Gaara. It's weird seeing him without make up, he should really sleep more.

"Oh," Kiba says not really believing me.

"Have you talked to Shino?"

Kiba's face drops and a dark cloud appears over his head. "No..Shikamaru says he's not in his room. I think Shino got him to lie for him though…I heard movement in the background.." Kiba says. "I mean I know he must be mad," Kiba lets out a frustrated growl. "He's always like this! Always really moody and he'll hate you forever if you fuck up one time. He's just like a girl you piss of while she's on her period," Kiba says, pulling the covers off himself. He slips out of his bed. I watch him, feeling kinda sorry for him. I would like to talk to Shino to. Besides what Kiba is saying ,pretty much hits the nail on the head. Shino's sensitive, he protects himself, once you hurt him it' hard to get back on his good side. I know that it's not really my problem, but at the same time it is. I mean Shino's a good friend of mine, and I'd like to keep him as a friend. So I have to get him to talk to Kiba, or me. Whichever he'd feel more comfortable talking to.

"The shittiest part of this is, that…You know I'm not even guessing anymore." Kiba says.

"What do you mean?"

He turns around to look at me, and he lets out a sigh. Like this is all way to complicated for him to handle. Kiba doesn't like it when shit gets complicated, but it's his own fault really. "I mean..Shino's…like…I mean..I..I'm pretty sure I…about the way I feel about him," he finally spits out.

I smile, "And how do you feel about him?" I tease. Kiba glares at me.

"What do you think Einstein!"

"I don't know, you never told me what you felt when I kissed you."

Kiba growls "Don't' mention that," he says with a groan. "It cleared some shit up though..," he adds.

"Well then I guess we'll have to get a CD player, and have you hold it above your head outside Shino's window."

"He'd probably just ignore me," Kiba says, and I can image Shino would do just that.

"Well you have to get in touch with him somehow. I mean seriously, it's your damn fault he's made at me too!"

Kiba winces," But I've tired, he's just avoiding everyone."

"Then do something that will get his attention, but doesn't have you there." I say suggestively. Kiba seems oblivious. "Become a secret admirer, do something romantic," I say plainly.

"Oh please, Shino isn't the type that wants to be showered with chocolates."

"No, I'd recommend you get those lollipops with those bugs in the center. You know?" Kiba makes a disgusted face.

"Just because he likes bugs, doesn't mean he'll eat one."

"No, but it's the thought that counts. Besides it's a perfectly preserved bug in a sweet outer coating of love!" I explain. Kiba doesn't seem to like the idea.

"Well I don't' care what you do, but damn it, do something! Shino's probably all depressed and shit. Who the fuck else am I going to hang out with when Gaara's busy? Sasuke ain't here!"

"You can talk to him over the phone."

"That's not the same. Just fix the shit you started," I say sternly. Kiba's going to have to face this problem if he likes it or not! I cruel up under my covers and close my eyes, preparing to catch up on some sleep; which I joyously neglected.

My eyes flutter open, and I look around the room to find it empty. It's no surprise really, I'm sure Kiba has some classes to attend. I get up and change clothes quickly. I look at he clock to see that it's almost noon. "Dang." I mutter to myself. I scoop up my U.S. history book, and open it up to the chapter I'm sure the professor is going over today. I read the chapter slowly and take a seat at the desk that is in my dorm room. I take out a piece of paper, thinking it might be good to take some notes.

I finish my out line with a sigh of relief. I flex my hand to try and stop the cramping. Four full pages, front and back, all of them notes. I look at them for a moment longer and organize them correctly, and then I tuck them into my American history book. I look at my economics book doubtfully. My hands are already hurting. Then it hits me; Hinata has the same class. I could just photocopy her notes in the library; if she's there.

With that plan I get up and head for the library. I ignore the cool air that hits me when I step outside. I didn't bother with a jacket, and really it's not that cold. A lot of students are in the large courtyard, going to their dorms, classes, or just playing hacky sack in the grass. Some of the students are even eating lunch under the trees, while others head for the parking lot. I cut across the grass, ignoring the group of hippies playing guitar. Though the musician calls, "that's not cool man," when I cut through their little circle. I enter the library, and smile when I see Hinata, at our usual space. I walk up to her.

"Hey Hinata," I say cheerfully, not bothering to whisper.

"Oh Naruto, hey. Where were you?" She questions softly.

"I didn't feel like catching the lecture, I was tired," I say with a scratch to the back of my head. She smiles at me beautifully.

"I see," she says sweetly. "You need my notes?"

"Yeah that would be great, if you don't' mind."

"Not at all," She says opening her binder, and taking out three pages of two column notes.

"Thanks," I look over them. "I'm glad I missed it, I probably would have fallen asleep," I say with a chuckle. Hinata smiles at me. "So how have you been? How's the dating market going?"

Hinata blushes, "Oh, I've decided it's really not so important..I can't do it alone. But For thanksgiving, Neji said he'd introduce me to one of his friends…So maybe..who knows," She explains softly.

"Oh I forget, that Neji's your cousin," I say. "Well I hope he has nice friends," I add, remember how strict and uptight the boy was in high school.

"Me too.." Hinata mutters.

"Well let me just copy these notes real fast, and we'll talk some more," I say getting up and heading to the copy machine.

I make copies of the first two pages, and then look up while making the copy of the third. I spot Shino at a table studying. I snatch up my copies the moment they come out, along with the originals. I walk over to Shino very quietly. I don't want him to see me, and then make a run for it or something. I make it to the table and only then do Shino's shade covered eyes look up at me.

"Shino can we talk?" He looks back down at his book, ignoring me. I take a seat. "Kiba's not good at apologizing or explaining," I tell him, taking a deep breath so I can explain myself. However Shino only closes his book and makes to leave. I stop him.

"I'm not Kiba, I'm not just gonna let you be a moody bitch. Now sit down and listen, it's not what you think." I say yanking my friend back down, and keeping him there. His titled eyebrows tell me he's glaring at me.

"Kiba's been confused, and he though he liked you," Shino looks away and tries to escape my hold. "Listen," I hiss out dangerously.

"He already gave me his excuse," He tells me dully.

"Well at least hear my side of the story. You know Kiba isn't' any good with expressing his feelings." Shino nods in agreement, and I can safely remove my hold.

"Ok so he was acting all weird ever since he came back from his date with Hinata. He said he wasn't sure about himself, and shit like that. I though it was cute, and I was really hope you and him would hit it off. But he was chicken about the whole thing. I guess it's kinda understandable because he was afraid it was just a phase, and he didn't want to hurt your feelings. Anyway so he asked me if he could kiss me to compare it to the kiss he had with Hinata. I didn't want to, I mean I just go back together with Gaara, but he nagged me so I gave in. Kiba didn't mean any harm, and neither did I. Don't listen to what Ino says, she doesn't even know the whole story. So there you have it. Give Kiba another chance?"

Shino sits completely still and quiet. "I suppose…"

"Good!" I say rather loudly, and the Liberian 'shhs' me. I give her an apologetic look.

"Kiba's an idiot..he sucks with words, and dealing with his own emotions." Shino sighs out and reopens his book.

"But that why you love him, right?"

"Sadly yes," Shino mutter, and I chuckle.

"Well just talk to him, he'll be nervous I'm sure, but it'll work out." I get up from he table, and head back to Hinata with a smile on my face. I'm glad that problems behind me.

* * *

Gaara opens the door, and dull mint green eyes look down at me. "Are you ready?" I ask cheerfully.

"For what?" He asks, stepping aside to let me into his apartment. He seems tired, and his usually flat personality is even more deflated.

"To get on the road. You are coming with me right?" Gaara turns to stare at me blankly. "Tomorrow's thanksgiving," I point out, and Gaara nods. "Something wrong?" I ask with worry, my boyfriend doesn't seem to hear me. Instead he shuffles up stairs to his room. I run up after him.

"Hey you ok?" I ask again.

"Fine..just forgot the date," he says plainly. He takes out a small bag from under his bed, and opens his drawer. He analyzes his clothes before putting them into the bag neatly.

"You seem...tired." I point out. It's a trait that doesn't suit my night owl lover.

"I've been working a lot," he mumbles out. The tone isn't welcoming, and it's obvious that it's a subject he doesn't want to talk about.

"Something bad happen while you were working?" That doesn't mean it's a subject I'm not going to drill out of him. Gaara is silent, and he gets to his feet. I watch him, waiting for some sort of answer. But I get nothing, and Gaara simply passes me by. I follow, debating exactly how I'll go about this. Gaara walks into his bathroom, and packs his comb, hair moose, and toothbrush. He also slips in a make up stick; for his eyes of course.

"Come on Gaara, I can tell something's wrong. You look like you're a walking zombie," I whine.

"You know I hardly sleep. I suppose I should have slept a few hours; however I didn't," Gaara says plainly. I let the subject go with a sigh.

"Well I have the car waiting downstairs."

"A car?"

"Yup, I'm borrowing it from Kiba. He owns me a favor after the crap he put me through," I say waving my hand in the air. I told Gaara last week how I was finally able to straight things out between my two friends.

"Shino is taking Kiba over to his house for Thanksgiving," I say plainly. Gaara nods politely to indicate that he hears me. However I doubt he's really interested in the subject.

"So you have everything right?" My boyfriend nods slightly. "Great then lets go, we'll be on the road for a long time!"

**Gaara's POV**

I get into the passenger side of the white vehicle. The car is not extravagant, but rather what you would expect a college student to own. However the inside is clean, and I don't care about the outer appearance. Naruto starts the engine, and actually I'm rather surprised he has his licenses. Mainly because I've never seen him drive, but I suppose it's because he doesn't own a vehicle.

The radio is playing softly, and my muse's fingers drum on the stirring wheel along with the beat. He pulls out of the parking lot smoothly, and follows the speed limit as we exit the neighborhood. I rest my elbow on the window seal, and gaze out at the cars passing us by.

I truly did forget that today was the day before thanksgiving. I probably would have noticed once I went to my evening classes and found that no one was there. However Naruto saved me from such embarrassment. I've had a lot on my plate lately, and now I am beginning to worry about this meeting. I've never cared about people's opinion about me, and I don't care about their reactions to my sexuality (or Naruto's). Yet I don't want this to be a dramatic meeting; for Naruto's sake. I honestly don't want to deal with ignorance or disapproval at he moment. I don't' want to have to deal with other peoples emotions, and I most defiantly don't want anything to upset my nymph. He's more sensitive then I am, and I'm sure this meeting is going to be very important to him. Meeting someones parents, or guardian in this case, is always seen as a big step in a relationship. I myself don't understand why people put so much emphasis on it. However I suppose that is because I don't value my families opinion, and don't let their opinions influence me.

"You're awfully quiet," Naruto points out, his blue eyes only deviating from the road for a second. I am usually quiet, is there really a noticeable difference? I do not respond, but keep eye contact with my muse; so he doesn't believe I'm ignoring him.

"Something up?" He questions. I shrug. "Did you do that one job you told me about? The horror movie one?"

Yes I did, and it is this job that has gotten me so…off routine. It's not the lack of sleep that bothers me, but the people I had to deal with. The actress was very rude and stuck up and hardly took any direction from me. The photos came out mediocre, because of this. Then the director wasn't satisfied with the work. I didn't complain about the woman who made the job hard for me. He demanded I retake the picture, and this time I didn't bother being patient with the stuck up actress. In the end everything worked out, but I had to go through many unnecessary hassles. The pay was decent though. However the money hasn't been transferred into my account yet.

"I did," I mutter out, not going into the unnecessary details.

"Did it bother you?"

"In a way," I explain plainly.

"Oh," Naruto whispers. I study the blonde whom, himself, is becoming quiet. His eyes become a little hallow as he looks out onto the road. I do not like the look in his eyes. It's like he's trying to cover something up, yet cannot find his usual smile. So he's becoming empty not bothering to grin and laugh, to say, 'I'm ok'. Is it fear? Possibly, I'm sure he's very nervous about this meeting. His finger drum on the stirring wheel.

"Let's just say…you will forever be my favorite model. You are more obedient," I say emotionlessly. This brings a smile to my muse's face. An expression that I'm use to seeing upon his countenance and an expression I enjoy very much. Even though I myself haven't mastered the gesture yet.

A span of silence falls again, and Naruto's lips flutter between a frowned and a smile. I watch his facial muscles twitch. Finally he lets out a sigh and peeks at me. The smile finally stays firm against his lips. Those lips part and he begins to talk. Starting a lullaby, always different yet so familiar.

A/N: I had trouble with the chapter, so sorry if it's not my best.


	8. Meet my better half

Chapter 8: Meet my better half

**Naruto's POV**

Instead of stopping at a hotel Gaara insisted that he take over driving. That means we'll probably make it to Iruka's a little earlier. But after a little nap I might try to convince Gaara to stop at a hotel. I don't care if he usually doesn't sleep, it's still not good to drive through the night.

Gaara's turned the music down low, and I'm too sleepy to try and talk. Though my red head doesn't seem to mind. My half-lidded eyes glance out the window and then towards Gaara. I blink, and a fear comes over me. Memories of our separation mingle with stories Iruka has told me about my parents. The two love birds that nobody approved of…I wonder how Iruka will see Gaara. I'm really worried about he whole meeting. I almost regret bringing it up, but at the same time I don't want to hide Gaara away. He's an important and hopefully permanent part of my life. I can't just keep Iruka and him separated. Still that doesn't ease my worries any.

"Gaara?" I ask simply. Green eyes glance at me for a brief moment to show that he hears me. "Am I good enough for you?" The car swerves, and I sit up just in time to see a little fox run out on to the road. Gaara single-handedly (quite literally) got around the animal with out hitting it. Though we are now on the side of the road. A truck passes us by, and Gaara pushes on the gas only to hear a slippery sound. With a sigh he lets his hands drop from the wheel, and his green eyes look at me. The Car is still running and nothing seems wrong, we're probably just stuck in the mud or something.

"What sort of question is that, Naruto?" Gaara ask emotionlessly.

"I..I'ts just. I'm worried," I mumble out truthfully. I let my smile consume my sorrow and worry. I let my grin chase away all the bad thoughts and uncomfortable memories.

"Then shouldn't it be the other way around?" Gaara ask unbuckling his seat belt.

"No, I like you the way you are. I can't see you being any other way," I say waving my hands frantically hoping I haven't insulted my boyfriend.

"Naruto…You're doing it again." Gaara says and he shakes his head.

"Doing what?"

"Ignoring you past instead of facing it."

I get a little angry, however the statement is true. "Just forget I asked."

There is a silence, "Naruto what are you so worried about?" Gaara's cool voice snakes it's way to my ear. I try not to answer, but when someone asks me a question it's hard for me to ignore them.

"I'm worried about what people will think."

Gaara looks at me with disbelief. "You didn't care in high school."

"It's not that I'm ashamed of you. I just…don't want to end up like my mom.."

"Naru--"

"No Gaara look at us," I start to shake, "it's exactly the same. You're popular and successful. What am I? I'm struggling through college..I'm not all that bright, I'm not rich..I'm nothing.."

"You're many things..." Gaara says and I can feel his discomfort.

I give him a look of pity, and I notice that my vision is blurred. I'm crying. "I'm sorry…" I whisper.

Gaara leans back, and rubs the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what to tell you," he says in a monotone voice. "You are usually so confident."

"I know..It's just my home town has this affect on me. There are so many judgmental people there. Our whole relationship…it's like I'm following my mothers foot steps. I don't' want to cause you problems. Gaara think about it. What if people find out about us? Image what that could do to your reputation…People won't see you the same..just like people were disappointed with my dad."

"Both your parents are dead because they..cared for one another," Gaara points out. I look at him as if he's discovered some lost ancient city. Gaara turns away and opens the door to the car. I watch him go around to check what's stopping the car from moving. With a jolt of energy I pop out of the car and walk up to him.

"Go to the drives seat and press on the gas when I tell you to," He tells me. I nod, even though Gaara's not looking at me. I sit down, and look in the rearview mirror to see my Boyfriend. When I hear the command I step on the gas gentle, nothing happens. There is a pause and then again Gaara calls out to me. I repeat my earlier action and this time the car moves a little, but the slivering sound tells me we're not free yet. There's another pause and then I'm told to give gas again. This time we move out of the mud on onto the patch of grass. I get out of the car, and see Gaara wiping at his pants, which are splattered with mud.

"Let's find an Inn," the red head says plainly.

"Gaara—"

"Try to worry only about your guardian, not other peoples opinion," he tells me. I give him a smile.

* * *

The hotel room is small, and even thought there are two bed, I'm sharing one with Gaara. I keep my eyes closed, though I'm not really sleeping. Occasionally I open my eyes and stare into he darkness. The only light in the room is a soft blue light coming form the TV. Gaara is watching it, though it's on mute. I think he's just looking at it out of lack of anything better to do.

"It's two in the morning get some sleep," Gaara tells me, though he's not looking down at me. I turn to lay on my back, and look up at the ceiling.

"I can't," I groan out. It's actually really annoying, I'm tired but can't sleep.

"If you don't want to go—"

"I think it's a little to late for changing my mind," I sigh out. "I don't know why I'm letting it bother me so much," I mumble more to myself then to Gaara. Gaara studies me, and there is a long silence. I close my eyes again, but still I don't feel tired. I hear the covers shuffle and when I open my eyes there's no light. I turn and come face to face with Gaara. I smile at him.

"I know I shouldn't care what they think. I guess it's just kinda scary thinking about my parents, and then of course I don't know how Iruka will react," Gaara nods slightly. "Aren't you worried?"

My redhead shrugs and his eyes go off to look at the ceiling. "It doesn't matter to me, but it's important to you," He explains simply.

"How can you be so 'whatever' about this?"

Gaara stares at me blankly. "Will your guardians opinion change anything between us?"

"No, of course not," I say defensively.

"Then why are you not 'whatever' about this?" A wide grin plays across my face. Gaara may not be very emotional, but he's logical; and sometimes you don't need sympathy just reassurance. I lean in and give Gaara a kiss, he returns the gesture.

"Goodnight," I say letting my lips linger near his as I speak. Gaara only responds with a mumble. I throw my arm across his chest and cuddle close; tucking my head under his chin. His hand rest on the top of my hand, though he seemed to question the position. Once his hand was comfortable and still, I let out a yawn and attempted again to get some sleep.

**Gaara's POV**

"I can't believe you let me sleep past eight!" Naruto says frantically. Rushing to the car. I leisurely walk behind him. He jumps into the driver's seat. "Come on, come on!" He calls, and I quicken my pace a little.

I don't even have time to buckle up, as Naruto turns the car around. He quickly finds the exit to the highway. Even though the speed limit posted is seventy, he's doing eighty.

Eventually (after I got use to the speed) Naruto slows down. He turns into an exit, and I see a welcome sign. Though the name of the town is faded. I look around and wonder if we had crossed the border into Alabama or Mississippi. The town has an old air about it, and all the buildings seem gray or faded brown. Vine plants grow on iron wire fences, and a Greek temple structure stands tall with the letters "court house" hanging over it. It's not a dirty city, but obviously a small place. The type of town where everyone knows each other. I look at Naruto, trying to get a glimpse into his metal state. For once Naruto's face is blank. People walk the streets and I can't help but notice the lack of African Americans in the town. My guess is Naruto has the darkest skin in town. Just the type of town that would be judgmental. The perfect setting for the love story Naruto told me about so long ago.

Naruto pulls into a suburb, and all the homes look Victorian style.

"Not much, is it?" Naruto asks with a chuckle.

"I suppose.." I mutter out, while still taking in the sight of all the houses. They look like doll houses, painted brightly, and with wood carved into lace. Naruto pulls into a driveway. I'm surprise to see the rather modern looking home in front of us.

"Built in the eighties. The house that use to stand here got eaten by termites," he explains. Naruto takes a deep breath and turns off the car. "You ready?" He questions me with a smile. I give him a nod, and we both exit the car. I look down at myself, and wonder what Naruto's guardian will think of me. I'm wearing black slacks, which are a little loose on me. A silver chain trails from my studded belt to my back pocket. I'm wearing a black and forest green striped shirt and a black suit jacket over it, the suite jacket has skulls as buttons and a green patch stitched on the back that has a picture of in hour glass in black ink on it. If anything I don't fit in with the bright scenery of pink and baby blue houses.

Naruto walks in front of me and I follow him to the front door. Like always Naruto is wearing orange. Autumn colors that suit the holiday. A tan shirt is tucked away underneath his orange jacket. The jacket has intertwining leaf patterns stitched on in black thread. The tan shirt has an orange swirl and the words whorl pool on it. Naruto has also adorned himself with fade jeans that are threatening to rip open above his knee.

The door opens, though I didn't hear Naruto ring the doorbell. "Naruto, I'm glad you made it!" A voice says excitedly, however I can't see the man since he's currently hugging my muse.

"I meant to make it here earlier, but I over slept," Naruto explains.

"Oh that's fine, and who's this?" I finally get to see the man's face. He has brown hair and a scare, he also has tan skin much like Naruto's. My blonde is about to answer when he's interrupted. "Oh, let's not stand out side, come in, come in," the man beckons. Naruto is put off by the delay and he takes in a couple of deep breaths.

"Please take of your shoes," Naruto's guardian tells me. I do so quietly. "So what's your name?"

"Gaara, thank you for having me," I say dully, hoping I haven't come off as rude in anyway. People can be sensitive, and I know from experience some people find me to be rather 'rude'.

"No problem any friend of Naruto's' is welcome here," The man says politely.

"Do you need any help with cooking, Iruka?" Naruto questions.

"I can handle it, you and Gaara can go in the living room. The parade should be on," Iruka says of handily. Naruto looks at me, while his guardian disappears.

"Here let me show you were the living room is," he says with a sigh.

"Don't you want to tell him?"

"Yeah I'm going to, once you're into the living room," he explains.

"Why?"

"I think it'll be easier for me if you're not there…no offense," I nod in understanding. Naruto then guides me to the living room. The TV is already on, and there's nothing note worthy in the living space.

"Well wish me luck," My nymph says dramatically, and disappears. I hope that nothing will cause Naruto get upset. It's bad enough he seemed so…out of character on our way here. This trip shouldn't diminish his self-esteem. He's strange, and I don't understand how he can put such emphases on meaningless things. Or how he connects our story with his parents, like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't care if he ruined my career, he was there first, therefore has priority. I just don't want anything to upset him further.

**Naruto's POV**

I step into the kitchen and see Iruka checking on the turkey. "I can really handle this on my own Naruto. The meals practically done. Why not just entertain your guest?"

I look at the back of Iruka's head, and for a minute I lose my voice, but I find it again quickly. "Iruka I want to tell you something," I say looking at my feet. Iruka puts the turkey back in the oven and kicks the oven door shut.

"What is it?" He questions me. "Something happen at college? You short on cash?"

"No nothing like that," I say looking around the kitchen. Iruka's eyes study me.

"Well then what is it, Naruto?"

"Well there something I never really told you about," I find myself squishing an imaginary bug with my foot. Iruka looks down at my feet, before looking at me with a lifted eyebrow.

"What is it?" I can hear the concern in his voice.

"It's nothing to worry about…I hope," I mutter the last part to myself.

"Oh just spit it out Naruto," Iruka says playfully, trying to cover up the fact that he is actually worried.

"Well…I'm gay," I drag out the last word, as if by doing so it would lessen the impact.

Iruka looks at me blankly and then blinks. "Well, um…that's a…. surprise," he says softly. There's an awkward silence between us and Iruka takes a seat at the kitchen table. "How long..have you know?"

"Since high school.."

"And you never told me?" Iruka seems insulted by the fact.

"It never really came up in conversation. It's not like you asked about my love life."

"Well I didn't want to nag you about not having a girlfriend, I just thought…you weren't ready for a relationship yet." Then Iruka's eyes widen. "And Gaara?"

"He's been my boyfriend since high school…" I mutter out, feeling a little embarrassed. I know I must be blushing.

"Well...so much for high school romances never lasting…" Iruka mumbles out. I feel a little at ease and find the courage to take a seat across form him.

"You disappointed?"

"Yes, you didn't think you could tell me?" That's not really what I meant by the question, but the answer makes me smile.

"I already said you never asked, so I didn't tell."

"Well you could have told me you've been dating someone!" I laugh, and Iruka chuckles a little as well. "As long as you're happy Naruto that's all that matters." He adds after we calm down.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Yeah."

I get up and walk over to my guardian, "Thanks for not freaking out on me," I give hi a hug. He pats me on the arm.

* * *

I pull Gaara down for another kiss, and the covers on my bed only become an obstacle as I try to pin my boyfriend down. I finally I find myself on top and I grin down at my redhead.

"You have no modesty," he tells me quietly.

"What? It's my room," I point out.

"It's not your house," He explians.

"Aw we'll just be quiet about it," I assure him.

"For you that's impossible," He says coolly. I stick my tongue out at him.

"Iruka didn't make you feel uncomfortable did he?"

"No, but that doesn't change the fact that I'd rather not do it here."

"You're no fun," I grumble, and let myself roll off. I look at the ceiling. "He's been asleep for two hours now, and his bedroom's like three doors down the hall. It's not even on the same side!" Gaara ignores me and gets under the covers.

"Don't even try to pretend like you're sleeping," I huff. However Gaara remains still, and keeps his back towards me. Dinner was nice, even though Iruka decided that it would be a good time to interrogate Gaara. He asked how old he was, and if he's going to college and if he has a job. In the end Iruka was rather impressed. I couldn't be happier, I'm glad Iruka accepts Gaara. However the good out come has made me rather frisky, and Gaara's refusal is such a tease!

I snake my arms around Gaara and scoot in closer. I start the trail kisses down Gaara's pale neck, yet I get not response. My hand slips under his black tank top and still I get nothing. I start my kissing again, but Gaara still plays dead. I sit up and crawl over Gaara and sit in front of him looking down at him. Of course I'm not surprised to see he's wide-awake.

"Come on, you ain't got nothing better to do with your time. It's not like you're going to sleep," I whine. My boyfriend only rolls over. I let myself fall ontop of him. My upper body draping his, and my arms stretched out in front of me limp and hopeless.

"I'll remember this, and then one day when you're horny I'm gonna be like; 'Nope, I don't feel like it, try back in a month.'" Gaara attempts to pull the covers over his head, but seeing as I'm laying on top of him its impossible. With a sigh of defeat I roll off Gaara and slip under the covers. I close my eyes, and I can't help but smile. Tomorrow evening we'll head home again. I want to spend a little more time with Iruka. I hardly ever get the chance, it seems like holidays are to far away and to short. I wonder if maybe Gaara would like to see the town. It's small and full of judgmental people, but it always has nice architecture and plants. It might inspire Gaara, and as his favorite subject it's my duty to inspire him!

"Gaara?" I find my self whispering, it's not like he's a sleep or anything.

"Mmm?"

"Would you like to see the town tomorrow? I could show you some nice places," I say quietly.

My redhead turns around to face me. "Wouldn't that be a little uncomfortable for you?" I frown and look at the ceiling.

"No…I mean I'll just ignore them." I mutter out.

"Will they recognize you?"

"Yup I'm the only kid with whiskers around," I say with a grin.

"Naruto..how did you get those marks?" I stop breathing for a while, and this time it's me who turns his back. Gaara doesn't push the subject further and there's a long silence. I touch my face and trace over the marks, the same marks that Gaara is fascinated with. The marks that he's made bleed, and in a strange way purified.

"I was always rejected…no matter how nice I tried to be," I laugh a little. "They hated me because their parents told them about my mother, and how she 'ruined' my father. Of course I just covered everything with a smile. One day when I was in the fifth grade, I wanted to play dodge ball with some boys. They decided it would be fun to play, 'dodge rock' instead. Some of the rocks cut me. When I got home I broke down, and evened out the cuts on my cheek and made them deeper…I kept asking myself 'why'. After that Iruka started looking for a new school for me to go to, one that was out of town." I explain. I feel an arm snake around my belly. A small gesture of sympathy from Gaara.


	9. Publication

Chapter 9: Publication

**Naruto's POV**

Our hands are not entangled together lovingly. We are not walking to close to each other, and our eyes do not meet in a affectionate gaze. That doesn't stop people from glaring though. They're probably glaring at me more then Gaara; never mind that he sticks out alike a swore thumb, with his dark clothes. I can't help but smile, even though it's annoying and depressing, it's also funny. However my boyfriend is oblivious to all of this, or just doesn't care to pay attention to the people around him. We're in a small park filled with old willow trees, and an artificial lake. Bright flowers are scattered around every where.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Gaara's cold voice makes me freeze. His blank eyes gaze at me, and I chuckle. Yes I'm uncomfortable, no matter how hard I'm trying to shrug off the glares. "I've seen enough," Gaara say simply. He's giving me an excuse to go home, to hide away from my memories. Ironic, hasn't he always been the one who's told me to face them?

"I'm fine really Gaara," I say happily.

Gaara sighs slightly. His eyes look out at the far away clouds. I study his expression. I put my hands in my pocket.

"Do I annoy you?"

"You're recent insecurity does, yes," He says coldly. I glare at him, and fight the urge to stick out my tongue like a child. Instead I stay silent and walk in front of him, towards the park exit. My boyfriend walks quietly behind me, and I try to ignore him. However, those simple words irk me. Suddenly I turn around, but I have no chance to speak.

"It's just not like you to act this way. It is best if we leave. However I understand your change in character, think nothing of it," Gaara says plainly. And I am left with my mouth wide open.

"You know to much, stop reading my mind," I mumble. We walk back to my house, and I find myself thinking. I'm not blurting out my opinion like I usually do. I look around the town and feel like I'm caged, like if I speak someone will judge me. I feel a little depressed, but then a tingling sensation runs up my fingers.

I look to see Gaara holding my hand, he's not looking at me, but simply looking ahead. Like this is nothing…I guess it's not, but it's making me worry. I scold myself a little, because for that feeling.

"Why do you let these people scare you?" Gaara questions, without making eye contact.

"I don't know…I guess it's a defense mechanism," I justify. Gaara nods. If I where anywhere else I'd be loud and outgoing, but this town has pushed me down so many times, I don't even try to get up. Sometimes I want to, I just want to yell and scream; but I usually leave this hell whole before I do anything drastic.

I let a bright smile creep up my face, and try to just focus on Gaara. "I'm glad Iruka seems to like you," Gaara's finger twitches, and I laugh. Iruka is talkative, and he has questioned Gaara about some things, I'm sure he was uncomfortable with. Like this morning at breakfast, when Iruka ask if we use protection during sex. Gaara's eye wouldn't stop twitching for two minutes, and I just laughed my ass off.

I begin to talk like I usually do when I'm around Gaara. On going none sense and minimal input form my red head. I feel more secure, and I have the courage to hold on even tighter to Gaara's hand. I block out anyone who's passing us by, taking on Gaara's attitude towards the outside world.

* * *

"If you need anything just call," Iruka says, and I give my guardian a hug. He looks at Gaara, and they both exchange good-byes. It's not much, but I'm grateful for the peaceful interaction. I think Iruka really approves of Gaara, though he might still be stunned. If not by the fact that I'm gay, then because, of the fact that my boyfriend is my exact opposite.

Gaara and I get into the car. "I can't wait to get back to school," I say with a sigh of relief. Gaara doesn't respond, but he doesn't need too. We both buckle up and I pull out of the driveway. As I drive through the town, I feel like everyone is stopping to look at our car. It makes me uncomfortable, but maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Gaara's cell phone starts to ring. He pulls it out and looks at the screen, then he puts the phone away.

"You're not going to answer?" I question.

"I'm on holiday still," he says plainly. I chuckle a little. It must be his manager calling.

"How did you like the town?" I question.

"It has an old air about it. The peoples opinion is has old as the architecture."

I smile, " I wanted to show it to you anyway. Even if it's flawed, it has its nice spots."

"I suppose," Gaara trails off. I'm glad that I can get him to talk so easily, I really feel lucky to have found him again. Of course I never gave up, I don't think either of us did.

"Have you heard from you family?" I question softly. I know Gaara's attitude towards his family is negative, but still, I wonder.

"Why would I?"

"Just wondering. Kankuro seems like the type of guy that would come around once he found out you're famous." Gaara's lip twitches a little. I reach down to turn on the radio, but am only greeted with static. I turn it back off. I'll probably only get country music out here anyway.

Instead to produce some noise, I start to talk with Gaara about everything and nothing. All the while I'm avoiding the topic of my childhood, emotions, and most of all, the town that we're exiting. I want to be my happy go lucky self again. I want to be at peace, and smile brightly. It's not so bad. I guess that the town just got to me a little more then usually because I brought Gaara along. However, everything will be fine and back to normal, once I'm far away from here. I drive on, placing more distance between me and my memories.

It's dark, and it doesn't seem so long ago that the sun was out. I don't know exactly how long we've been driving, but my eyes are starting to get heavy.

"Let's try and find a hotel," I look at Gaara and give him a sleepy nod. A nice bed sounds good right about now. I turn on the next exit, and try to keep my eyes open for a hotel. We find a small Inn, and Gaara goes to the lobby and gets us a room, while I rest my head on the steering wheel.

"Naruto," I look up with sleepy eyes. "Turn off the car, the room is right here," he say softly. I nod, and do as I'm told.

"How late is it?" I question.

"It's only midnight," he says.

"Only?" I yawn. "Will you sleep?"

"I'll try," Gaara mutters out, and opens our hotel room. I quickly jump on the bed, and wiggle out of my shoes and jacket. Once I'm only in a shirt and jeans I plant my face into a pillow, and shut my eyes tight. I feel the bed sink next to me, and a warm comfort comes over me, once I feel Gaara's body heat.

**Gaara's POV**

My eyes are not heavy, though Naruto's fast asleep. I look at my cell phone. One missed call and one voice mail. In all honesty I don't want to listen to the voice mail. I enjoy painting, and photography, however even those joys can become too much if I am pressured into producing them. Reluctantly I listen to my voice mail.

"Gaara, we have a situation. Some rumors have been getting out. I need you to call me back as soon as you can. I need to set up an interview with 'Modern art and it's old touch' magazines."

The message ends, and I stare at my cell phone. I'm not going to worry or panic about this. However, I wonder what has gotten my manager so upset. It's probably some shallow hear say, that people are saying about me. Something that's probably not even worth defending.

I set my phone on the stand that holds a digital clock. It's four in the morning. I look down at my muse. I'm sure he'd want me to wake him up at six, so we can get back on the road. But for now he still has two hours to sleep.

I suppose I'll have to call my manger once I get home to see what's going on. Though, I did want to start on a new painting. I look at Naruto, he's snoring lightly. He's always been an inspiration, and his backward town has upset him, but also sparked something within me. Hate, repulsion, annoyance, I'm not sure which one of these emotions I felt when I was there. However, it's not very important.

Naruto rolls over, and mumbles something in his sleep. Slowly his eyes open, though he still looks very tired. His groggy blue eyes look up at me. "I can't sleep, this bed is the most uncomfortable bed ever. My back hurts," he complains.

"Do you want me to drive?' I question.

"No that's fine. We'll make it back home today, and It'll just be easier if I drop you off and then go give the car back to Kiba." I nod, and slowly Naruto gets out of bed. I follow him.

"Did you get any sleep?'

"No."

"Figures, well you didn't miss out. That sleep wasn't at all restful," Naruto shuffles into the bathroom, dragging alone the small bag that holds his clothes. I can hear his voice echo out from behind the door.

"I'm really glad you came with me to meet Iruka. It was kinda nice…for the most part." I hear water running.

"It was no problem," I mutter out.

"Is something wrong?" Naruto peeks out from behind the door. "You sound..more flat then usual."

"Work," I say plainly.

"Ooooh," Naruto creeps back into the bathroom and shuts the door. Then after a few minutes of silence my nymph reveals himself. "Well Christmas isn't that far away. So you'll have another break soon."

I nod absentmindedly, and go to freshen myself up as well.

* * *

"I'll come visit you tomorrow, before work," Naruto says sweetly. The car is still running, and I climb out.

"That would be pleasant," I say softly, and my muse graces me with a wide smile. I sling my bag over my shoulder, and watch Naruto pull out of the apartment parking lot. It's become so causal and pleasant between us. It's almost hard to believe that when we were in highschool, around this time, we were separated. I feel like I'm in an illusion, and I can't help but think that I've changed a little. Though Naruto is the only human I willingly communicate with, I just feel different. More at ease not so stressed out. Even though I have a call to make.

I walk up to my apartment, and see someone at my door. I tilt my head back in question, but do not call out to the man who's oblivious to the fact that I'm approaching him. It's not my manger, but he looks familiar.

Suddenly with an annoyed sigh the man turns around. When his dark eyes spot me, he grins a little. It's Sai, and I'm surprised he even knows where I live. I feel uneasy, and want to get away from the boy. He's one of the annoying people I hate to speak too. He has a magazine in his hand, and he hands it to me. I say nothing. I don't want to encourage him to speak.

"I believe you'll find the article about your recent help with a film very interesting." With that said he simply walks away. I ignore him, and take out my key.

I throw the magazine the boy gave me on my kitchen counter. I walk up to my room, and unpack my bag. However, the words Sai uttered nag at me. I get angry with myself, for my curiosity. I'm sure it's nothing. However, maybe this has something to do with the reason my manger called me. I put away the rest of my clothes into the laundry, and look longingly at my studio. My fingers itch to paint, but my mind is set on reading that article.

Slowly I make my way back down to my kitchen. I find myself staring at the cover of the magazine. It has the poster I made for that movie on the front along with big bold red letters reading:

"His muse revealed."

**Naruto's POV**

"How was the trip?" Kiba asks me. He's in our dorm reading a book on his bed. Next to him is Shino, doing some biology work.

I toss Kiba his keys and he catches them with ease. "Everything was fine, except the usual bull shit. How was yours."

"Kiba knocked over my dad's ant farm, and ruined dinner."

"Me!? As I remember it your dad wasn't too happy about your sexuality and was trying to run me out of the house! It just so happened the ants were in my way," Kiba huffs. I laugh a little.

"How'd Iruka take it?" Shino asks politely.

"Hopefully better then your dad," Kiba mutters under his breath.

"Yeah way better. There was some awkward questioning, you should have seen Gaara's face, but for the most part everything was great," I say happily. Being out of that town…I just feel a little bit lighter.

"So you two getting along well I see," I smile at the new couple.

"Yeah..it's amazing how different it feels," Kiba says in an uncharacteristically sweet voice. I can't help but laugh at my friend, who only scowls.

"To think you were so opposed the idea only a couple of months ago."

"Denial is a powerful thing," Shino mutters out.

"I don't need you two women ganging up on me!" Kiba snorts.

"Why are you two studying for anyway?" I question just to make some small talk.

" Exams are coming up soon!" Kiba says bluntly.

"Yeah like, what? Next month?"

"Well some people would like to pass," Kiba mutters out.

* * *

"Gaara?" I knock on the door again. Finally it opens. "What took so long?"

"Sorry I was working on something…" Gaara trails off.

"Are you busy today?" I question

Gaara's green eyes study me for a moment and he seems to be pondering about something. Then his tense shoulders relax a little and he closes the front door.

"It's nothing I can't handle." He says solemnly. I give Gaara look of pity and reach out for him. I can almost see the invisible weight that's perched on his shoulder.

"Something wrong?" I question with extreme worry. I remember how yesterday morning he had the same tone of voice. Is he keeping something from me?

Gaara looks at me, his eyes run over every inch of my body. Yet when he opens his mouth he doesn't speak, but simply shakes his head.

"I suppose my lack of sleep is catching up with me," he's lying, I can tell. My eyebrows tilt down in anger, and I want to ask him to tell me the truth, but at the same time I back off.

"I see, well try and get some sleep tonight, ok?" Gaara nods halfheartedly. His mind seems to be somewhere else. It's almost like he's weighting the good against the bad. Or, maybe I'm just acting paranoid.

I take in a deep breath and put on a smile. I trust that Gaara will tell me anything, if he finds it necessary. Maybe it's not that important…maybe he doesn't want me to worry about it. Even though by acting like this and not tell me what's wrong, he's just making me worry more.

However as his bright side, I have to be sunny. I'll try not to worry; I trust Gaara, really I do.

"So what are you working on now?"

"I started on a painting, but then I had to make a phone call," Gaara says in a monotone voice.

"Oh may I see it?"

"Actually, I'd rather show it to you once it's done," Gaara's tone of voice is really starting to worry me.

"Ok, that's fine," I say cheerfully. If it's one thing I'm good at, it's covering up my feelings. Gaara usually can do the same, but today it's just obvious something is on his mind.

"Let's just watch some TV," my red head offers, and we head to the living room. As we watch TV, I bring comfort to my boyfriend by talking and acting like I'm none the wiser. The conversations I coax out of him seem to have a soothing affect on Gaara. I'm glad, but at the same time I wish I knew exactly what's wrong.

A/N: I'm going on vacation on the 9th and won't be in the states again until the 23rd. So all my stores will be on hold until I get back!


	10. Bloods thicker than wine

Chapter 10: Bloods thicker than wine

**Naruto's POV**

I enter the café with a thoughtful look on my face. I'm still trying to get some clue as to what's eating at Gaara. I guess his job is just becoming to stressful. That's probably all, no big deal. I nod my head to reassure myself.

"Naruto!" Sakura runs up to me in a panic. "Oh I'm so sorry, I can't believe Sai would just—Ahh!"

I stare at the pink haired girl blankly, as she fists her hair. "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? I though Sai showed Gaara the magazine," She mutters out. "I'm really sorry I guess Sai didn't see any harm in answering some questions…but…" Sakura doesn't finish her sentence and I'm really starting to get pissed.

"What the hell are you talking about!" Luckily there aren't any customers in yet.

Sakura lets out a sigh and ask me to come sit down. I look around to see if Ino's here yet. She's not, which is good cause she'd probably only bitch at use to get to work. I take a seat and look into Sakura's bright green eyes, expecting an explanation, and quick!

"Well while you were gone, some people from this art magazine came to talk to us. They had some questions. I wasn't about to answer them, but Sai was happy to," Sakura says plainly, as if this would clear everything up.

"So, what does this mean?" Sakura reaches into her oversized purse and pulls out a magazine. She flips it open to a very large article, the page is red. She scoots it over for me so I can read it.

His muse Reveled!

Ever since the young artist know as Gaara Sabaku as come on the scene we've always wonder what's made him tick. He's a very private man completely committed and focus on his art. Some questions are always ignored or answered vaguely by the very talented young man. Giving him a mysterious sex appeal. However, Sabaku is only human, and every human has inspiration, and of course relationships.

After talking to some of his fellow classmates we found out very little about him. So we looked for a new source; his family. Not much, until now, was know about his family. It seems they are very distant, and his father refused to talk to us, along with his sister. However, we where lucky enough to speak with his older brother, who gave us some insight into the workings of Gaara's mind.

"He was always creepy and fascinated with weird things. He turned everything gruesome into art, it was rather disturbing," Kankuro (Mr. Sabaku's brother) tells us. "We went to the same high school, my father though it would have a good influence on him. He continued drawing, and was praised for it. I don't' know much about art, but I guess he has talent. I remember there was this one blonde kid that always stuck around. I found out later that the little blonde kid was his boyfriend!"

It's not surprising to think that a blonde had so much influence on the young artist. After all it's blatantly clear he fancies them. However we are surprised to find out that his taste for horror and blondes runs deeper. When we returned to the Sabaku home, we were finally able to convince Gaara's father to give us a few words.

"My son is disturbed. I tried my best, but he has an obsessive personality. There were plenty of times I questions my sons paintings…." The artist's father hesitated. " He's seen some tragic things when he was younger. He developed a strange obsession with blood. Some of the paintings that scared me the most were painted in his own blood." 

A surprising statement. Though we haven't seen any of these allege paintings; it's not too hard to believe. We do not know much about this tragic event, senior Sabaku will not speak of it. However we found out about the unfortunate death of Gaara's uncle, who also had blonde hair. Sandy dirty blonde, but blonde none the less. Was this a trigger?

The more we searched for Sabaku's inspiration, the more complex he became. However a fellow artist, shed some light upon his relationship with a mysterious blonde boy. The artist requested we do not state his name.

"I've seen him with his boyfriend. The kids really cute actually." We ask the artist if he knew the name. Seeing as Kankuro was unable to recall it. "Yeah hard to forget. His names Naruto."

So could this boy be the muse that Gaara spoke of finding? It's entirely possibly, seeing as they were separated in high school. With this new insight on the artist life, you can ponder about his state of mind. If the blood paintings are real or not, his uncle's death is, and that could have started Sabaku's theme. Or possibly it is this boy named Naruto that is the sole reason for his art. After all our sources say that this Naruto was painted in many of Sabaku's paintings. 

We can say in all certainty the muse that Mr. Sabaku spoke of is, Naruto Uzimaki. The angelic blonde featured in many of Gaara's gruesome pictures.

"Why…why would they go so out of their way just to dig up dirt on Gaara?" I sigh out hopelessly.

"I'm sorry Naruto." Sakura reaches out her hand for me. "You know how the media is, once you make a lot of money they want to make you look bad. I mean look at poor Brittany Spears."

"But…this is different! It's not like he's a movie star! It's not like he was at some wild party and got drunk and drove home and got arrested! He's just doing his job and wants to live in peace, and now these people are putting their noses where it doesn't belong!" I can't help but be passionate about this. Mainly because I want my anger to block out any thoughts of my mother. I don't want to compare the two situations right now. I don't' want to think that this article that has printed my name, has damaged Gaara's reputation in any way.

"I'm sure it'll blow over. I mean that whole thing about the blood is just crazy. Is obvious his old man doesn't like him," Sakura points out. I don't say anything, just hand the magazine back to her.

"I'm taking a sick day," I say and take off my apron.

* * *

"Gaara open up," I knock on the door again, and Gaara opens up in an instant. I stand in front of him with my hands on my hips.

"Something wrong?" There's a glitter of worry shining in his eyes, but the rest of him is blank.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know this affects me too, they printed my fucking name!"

Gaara doesn't even pretend to be confused, instead steps aside to let me into his apartment. "Let's talk about this inside," he explains in a monotone voice.

I let myself drop down on the couch, and look at Gaara expectantly. He shuts off the TV, which was running, and sits next to me.

"I was going to tell you."

"When!?" I snap. I'm not really this angry with Gaara; I'm more disappointed. But, the article is what's got my blood boiling. The fact that they wanted to find some sort of dirt, and that Gaara's dad just blurted out whatever the hell he felt like saying! It's not fair that I'm letting my anger out on Gaara, so I try to calm myself.

Gaara on the other hand doesn't need to calm himself, since he's keeping his cool. "Tomorrow or the day after next," he explains. "I knew you'd overreact, because of the stress you've been holding in from the trip to your town."

"Overreact?" I say feeling a little insulted.

"I just didn't think it was necessary to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you would only start thinking about you mother," Gaara says in a monotone voice. I become silent, but try to block out any comparisons.

"So what are you going to do?"

"My manger's set up an interview with a rival magazine," my red head says softly.

"And what are you going to say?"

"The truth," he says simply.

"Are you sure? I mean journalists will nag you, and who knows what'll happen. You know how crazy people are."

"If you're not comfortable with it, I'll deny your name."

I look Gaara straight in the eye, and feel a little guilty. I'm scared, and worried. "What about your reputation?"

"If anything will taint that, then it's my blood paintings. After all it's sort of expected for artist to be homosexual," Gaara reassures me. I look at my hands, and rub them together.

"I wish you would have told me. Didn't you trust me?" I change the subject slightly.

"I told you, I didn't want you to overreact," Gaara sighs out. I get up of the couch. Gaara's eyes follow me but he doesn't speak. I need some time to be alone.

"Naruto?" I linger, waiting for Gaara to speak. "I wanted to ask you to come to the interview with me. But I can always deny your name."

I rub my arm. It's not that I'm ashamed of my sexuality, and I'm certainly not ashamed of Gaara. I'm just ashamed of myself. I really do have low self-esteem, even if I try to hide it with a smile. Even if I want to believe in myself, and tell myself that I'm worthy of Gaara, to go public…to have world judge me. I don't know if I can do that.

"I…I don't' know…I need some time to think," I turn around and give Gaara a smile. I hope he understand, it's not him, it's me.

**Gaara's POV**

I should have told him, but I didn't, and I can't change that. He knows now, and he seems pretty upset. I knew he would react like this, but I'm not going to force him to stay here. I value the time I have alone, and he needs his own time now. I will also not make him come with me to my scheduled interview. However, I've told him I'm not going to lie. I may censor his name but I will not deny my sexuality. It's hardly anything to be ashamed of.

I sit on my couch again and turn on the TV. I wonder how this will affect our relationship. Or how it will affect my life as a whole. I doubt I'll be dealing with photographers as much as a movie star has to. However anything can get out of hand, if people want it to. No, I don't' believe my life will change that much. I will just do my interview and set things straight. I'm not going to lie my way out of a situation. Let society judge me, I never cared about their opinion.

* * *

I open my door and am happy to see Naruto. I'm getting ready for my interview. My nymph hadn't shown up yesterday, and though it worried me I didn't seek him out.

"Gaara do you still have that interview?" he questions in a low voice. I nod. "Well…if you're sure, then..I'll go with you."

"If you don't want to, you don't have to."

Naruto walks past me and sits down, I sit down next to him. "I'm not really sure what I want to do." He pauses, and I wait for him to continue. "I want to support you, but I'm afraid by doing that I would be ruining you at the same time."

"You think to deeply into these things," I mumble out.

Naruto's azure eyes look at me, and a droopy smile hangs on his lips. He's covering up his discomfort and insecurity. "Maybe, but what will people sa—"

"Why do you hang on so tightly to people's opinion?" Naruto looks at his hands.

"I don't' know, I just do. I don't want to be bothered by them, I don't want to have to listen to their constant put-downs. I've had enough of that."

"Then I'll tell them the name they printed was false."

"No!" Naruto is torn. "No, I can't just… It wouldn't be fair to you if I just hide away."

"It doesn't matter," I say. However the words came out somewhat wrong, I can see by the annoyed expression on Naruto's face.

"So you don't care if I'm hiding? It would be like I'm ashamed of you, and you don't care?"

"It's not that," I try to explain. "It's your opinion that matters. I can deal with peoples stupidity," I have thicker skin then Naruto does. Words and people do not mater to me. However Naruto sucks them up like a sponge. "Remember we talked about this before. About people recognizing you from my paintings. I told you then I could care less what people thought."

Naruto's smile becomes the familiar and beautiful smile I am use to seeing. "I guess you were right, I overreacted, because of the time we spent in my old town," he admits. "I'm still a little scared though. I mean this is really happening, we're not just talking about it. I might..we might get a lot of attention because of this."

"I know, that's why I asked you if you want me to say the name was a mistake."

"No…I think I'm gonna have to suck it up, and just come with you to that interview." I nod, and look at the watch I just put on before Naruto arrived. My manager should be coming here any minute. He insisted that we should drive in the same vehicle to the interview. I had no objections, it sounded reasonable. However the information I will reveal in the interview might not sit well with my manger. That doesn't matter though, I make my own decision, I'm not his puppet. Naruto leans on my shoulder.

"The interview is going to be in half a hour," I tell him.

"Great…I look like shit.." He mutters out, and lifts his head from my shoulder. He gets up and looks himself over. Faded jeans that have a tear in them near his knee. Orange sneakers, and an orange Reese's Pieces shirt, with a black jacket over it. The black jacket as a large orange swirl on the back, and on the breast.

"You look fine," I say plainly. It's not important to look outstanding. I much rather see Naruto in this, then a suit, or collar shirt.

Naruto's eyebrow lifts and his eyes study me. "Compared to you I don't." He says. I have on a black collar shirt with a white outline of an hourglass and swirls on it. Also a red tie, and red pants, which are somewhat tight on me. I have three belts hanging from my hip, and a chain going from my front pocket to may back.

"You look fine," I repeat, and Naruto flops on the couch with a sigh.

"Every bodies going to think I'm a slob. Are they going to take picture? Oh my god I hope not," Naruto begins to rant, and starts to worry himself.

"You're doing it again," I point out.

"Well one of us has to care about our public appearance," Naruto defenses.

"You look great," I say updating the last word in hopes that it will have a better affect on him.

"You really think so?" Naruto question, and rest his head on my shoulder again. I nod my head. Finally Naruto seems satisfied. "Aren't you just a little bit afraid of telling everybody the truth?"

"I try not to make a big deal out of it," I mutter out.

Naruto nods, "I guess it'll be fine." It's relaxing to have Naruto so close, and I am grateful that he's coming to the interview with me. I didn't want to hide him away.

**Naruto's' POV**

I'm very nervous about this, but I want to support Gaara. I'm not going to think about my parents or anything, this is different. I guess it didn't' help to hear these kind of news just after coming back form thanksgiving. That town always changes me for a moment, makes me insecure, before I can get my mask up again and start fighting against the negative thoughts. But it'll be fine. I reach for Gaara's hand. As long as we don't leave each other to face this alone, it'll be fine.

Wanting to gain even more reassurance I come in close to kiss Gaara. Maybe to steal some of his strength, and confidence. He doesn't protest and lets our lips touch. His hand comes up to hold my face, I know he understand why I need this right now. I wrap my arms around his waist, and our kiss becomes deeper. We pull each other in, our tongues speak for use, and they say 'not again.' I know what those two words mean, and I do not want to be separated form Gaara again. We can't let a little trouble rip us apart, that's not what a relationship is about. You stand by each other through the good and the bad. You complete each other, you can't hope to accomplish something very important with only half of yourself.

The doorbell rings, and Gaara pulls away slowly. My eyes flutter open partially, already I miss his lips. But, I know that I can recapture them anytime; after we're done taking care of business. Gaara kisses the edge of my mouth softly, one last reassuring gesture. He then gets up to answer the door.

I can hear voices, mumbling about something. I get up, but then decided against going to see what's happening.. Then he calls for me. "Naruto."

I walk towards the front door, and see a man in a business suit. "This is my manger," Gaara introduces him. I reach out my hand to greet him, but the man seems dumbfounded.

"This has got to be a joke, right? So you're telling me that article was true?"

I let my hand drop, and glare at the man a little. What an ass! Then he attempts to put a smile on his face, and reaches out for my hand, and shakes it. "Well it's not all bad, if you inspire Gaara, then I should thank you. You're boyfriend's my best worker."

"Thanks…" I guess. I feel a little awkward around this guy, but I only have to put up with him for today.

"Well lets get going then." He announces.

A/N: I wanted to save the interview for next chapter.


	11. Interview

Chapter 11: Interview

**Naruto's POV**

I've passed nervous and stand now at totally freaked out! Luckily for me when I'm totally freaked out I'm pretty quiet. I just hope they only ask Gaara questions. If they ask me I'm going to make an ass out of myself that's for sure! We follow an assistant to a room filled with modern furniture. That strange type of furniture, which look likes abstract art. The kind that doesn't look comfortable at all, and when we sit down my suspicious are confirmed. Gaara's in the middle between his manger and me, he seems so calm. How can he be so calm? I mean he's going to tell everyone who's going to read this dumb magazine that he's not only gay, but has a blood fetish..well we don't' have to go that far… I'm sure if someone would ask Gaara if it's a fetish he wouldn't answer; he's just gonna talk about the blood paintings. There will be nothing said about our strange (yet very exciting) love life. Yes, exactly so calm down Naruto!

"Naruto?" Gaara flat voice calls to me, and breaks through my extremely jumbled up thoughts.

I give him a grin, and ask timidly, "What?"

"Are you ok? You're eyes keep darting about," he says simply, like it's no big deal.

"I'm fine..I guess I'm just a little nervous," I say truthfully.

Gaara nods, "It'll be fine, I'll be doing most of the talking." Most? Why not all? I don't want to be asked anything, least I blurt out something completely idiotic!

"Hello!" the cheerful voice makes me jump a little, and when I look at the door as see a woman with beautiful black hair. Some of it is pulled back into a bun, and the other long strands hang free. Her eyes stare at me, and then a bright smile crosses her red painted lips.

After closing the door behind her, she walks up to where everyone's sitting. "Hello, I'm Jezebel Rose, I'll be interviewing you today Mr. Sabaku. And thank you for picked dark arts magazine," the woman and Gaara shake hands.

"Address me as Gaara when you speak to me, please," He says simply, obviously not finding it necessary to be so formal.

Ms. Rose's eyes light up, and she smiles brightly, before those same eyes gaze at me. "And you are, Naruto Uzamaki, right? Am I right?" I nod slowly. She reaches out her hand and shakes mine enthusiastically. "You're just as cute in person! I've seen the paintings that feature you, oh the likeness it just unbelievable. You must feels so beautiful, having people admire you in those fabulous paintings. Oh but let's start with some other questions first, shall we!"

I stare with shock and amazement at the black haired women. She takes a seat and then reaches for a note pad that's lying on a table next to her.

"Oh I hope you didn't fine my out burst to…rude, Mr. Usamaki," she adds quickly. The only time someone calls me Mr. Uzamki is when it's a teacher or professor. Unlike Gaara I do not tell her to call me by my first name. I kinda like hearing mister in front of my name.

"So where shall we start," she ponders for a moment. "I'm sure it's painfully obvious that Naruto is that muse you spoke of. But, how did it happen that you lost him in the first place?"

"I changed school," Gaara says plainly. Ms. Rose nods, and writes something down very quickly.

"If it's not to personal of a question, what is it about Mr. Uzamaki that inspires you to produce such…unique works of art?"

"I suppose I could answer," Gaara mumble out, and he takes a pause. I watch him, he seems to be thinking deeply about the answer. Or at least I hope that's the reason he's taking so long. "It's hard to explain, but it is his eyes mainly. It's the way that he can…smiles even when he's have and internal battle with himself, or when he's in a horrible situation. That's why when I draw him…there always has to be something…out of place, some sort of evil hiding somewhere."

Ms. Rose seems dazed as she looks at Gaara, but she soon snaps out of it and writes everything down. She looks up after finishing and her gaze turns towards me again. "So tell me a little about the relationship. How does it feel to be the only one that can capture Mr. Sabaku's eye?"

"Um…" I wonder if I'm blushing. I never knew Gaara though so deeply about me. I love him very much, but I don't know how to word it. I could never word my feelings like Gaara did…in such a poetic way. "Well, it's really not that different form when we were in high school. I mean yeah he's famous now, but he's still the same. I've never felt special because Gaara, the famous artist, loves to paint me. I've just always been happy to pose for him, and I think it's fun to look at the paintings when their done. It's the way we spend time together, since we don't really go out on 'dates'."

Ms. Rose write down every word, all the while she nods her head. "So, Mr. Sabaku. You told me it's his eyes that captivate you. Then why always the theme with blonde hair?"

"I've come to see that as beauty. Just as some may find brown hair and green eyes attractive. There's nothing deep or thoughtful about it, it's simply what I prefer."

Ms. Rose smiles, "That sounds very reasonable. What would you like to say about the alleged blood paintings? Is that true?"

"Yes," Gaara says effortlessly. Gaara's manger looks like he's close to fainting.

Ms. Rose's eyes seem to widen a little. "May I ask why you do that?"

"When I was younger I used it as a copping mechanism. Now it is just a habit."

"So then the death of your uncle triggered it?"

"Mostly, yes…but there were other things."

"I see," Ms. Rose nods and writes. "Would you mind talking about your family?"

"There's not much to say."

* * *

The interview didn't last very long. Though I noticed that Gaara's manger seemed very worried, even when the questions stopped being personal.

I listen in on the two's conversation as we walk out of the building. It's not like I'm eavesdropping, I mean they're right there!

"You should have told me what you were going to say!"

"What does it matter? I told the truth."

"Honesty isn't always the best way to go in business." Gaara doesn't respond, and the manger seems frustrated. We get into the car, I feel ignored as the conversation goes on.

"Imagine what this will do to your reputation. You'll be seen as some sort of freak, and that image only works for hard core rock stars. Not artist!"

"It worked well enough for Van Gogh. People pay millions for replicas of his art, and he cut of his ear."

"That's not the point! I'm worried about your financial future."

"You are worried about your ten percent of the cut," Gaara says rather rudely.

"Gaara have you even thought about the impact that article may have on you? You'll lose people that may not agree with your life style, some museums may not want to be associated with you anymore. The bottom line is people will find some things odd…I'm not saying you'll lose everyone, but I'm saying you will lose some."

Gaara's cool eyes glare at his manger with icy intensity. I've never seen such a frightening look on his face before. I shiver, it's like a freezing wind is radiating off Gaara's body. "I'm not selling myself. I'm selling my art, and if people are to blinded by my personal life—which they decided to pry into—to buy my art anymore, I could car less." The car comes to a stop, and Gaara reaches for my hand and we exit the vehicle, not a word is uttered between my red head and his manager.

The limo pulls away and Gaara lets go of my hand. His fingers slide of slowly, it's like they are sighing. I can see how tense his shoulders are, I step next to him, and capture his hand yet again. I intertwine our fingers so they cannot slip away. I can see the annoyance and frustration in my boyfriend's face, no matter how blank it appears to be.

"Gaara calm down," I tell him, and his shoulders ease down, his head drops and his green eyes gaze at the pavement. We begin to walk hand and hand towards his apartment.

**Gaara's POV**

Humans are selfish. It's a fact of life. There are a few that after years have taught themselves to care for others, and then there are those (like me) that have cut any emotional bonds to the species. If it's out of fear or lack of understanding…it doesn't matter. All I know is that I do not like being around humans. My muse…he's the only one I have ever tolerated for a long amount of time. After a while people just get on my nerves. They do stupid things to entertain themselves…and they seem unaware of the people they hurt. I do not go out of my way to hurt people, I only attack when I'm being threatened. I do not help people that are being hurt…it's not a kind thing to do, but I am usually the neutral party when it comes to any conflict. I do not like conflict, most of it is a waist of time.

"It's just like before isn't it?" Naruto ask me quietly. I set my book on the night stand. I wasn't really reading it anyway. I look at my nymph and wait for him to speak. I wouldn't mind listening to him, maybe it'll bring me a little hope. Naruto is the only creature in my life that can make me hope a little…and maybe believe in humans. He has hope and faith and most of all a smile. He wants to believe in people, and he needs them. No matter how many times they hurt him..he always as room to forgive. It's fascinating, and that sort of forgiveness, and hope…I will never understand.

"I want to ask why…you know. I already know what sort of answer you'll give me. Humans are selfish…or something along those lines," Naruto smiles, and his blue eyes sparkle in the lamplight. "But..even if I would except that as an answer I still have so many 'whys' left to ask. Why are they so selfish? Why do they find that entertaining? Why can't they see…when they might be ruining someone's life? Why did they print that article in the first place? If they hadn't...then you wouldn't have responded."

Naruto shifts in the sheets a little, and he rests his head on my lap, his arm comes around to encircle my waist. "What's going to happen now? Did I coast you your job?"

"No," I tell him. "I believe, my manger was over reacting."

"I don't know, what if people do stop buying your art?"

"Then I will have time to finish school, and look for another job."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Naruto looks up at me with disbelief.

"Nothing big has happened yet, and once it does I'll have to deal with it. There's no point in blaming anyone, aseptically if it's not their fualt," I tell Naruto. He doesn't seem satisfied, and is ready to open his mouth in protest, however I interrupt him. I want him to stop his worrying.

"Go to sleep, you're tired," I says softly in an emotionless voice. Naruto seems disappointed but nods. He rolls over, and pulls the covers up to his neck.

My insomnia is a burden tonight. However I know I have no hope of even trying to sleep right now. Sadly, I let thoughts of my family float into my mind. I don't care to think about my father or brother, I am not angry with them because they are displaying behavior I expect from them. I've never expected much from humans, I usually don't expect anything, because I do not want people to expect things from me. However people do expect things from me, that doesn't mean I will lay down and follow their expectations. However disappointment, selfishness, and judgment, are things I can count on. Things I'm use to being the victim of. Though I do not consider myself a victim. I've stopped being a victim a long time ago. A victim has to feel hurt or betrayed in order to be called a victim. I do not feel much of anything when it comes to society. I look at Naruto who's back is still turned to me. He's the only one that can make me a victim now. However I knew what sort of risk I was taking when I decided to let myself get attached to him.

* * *

I have a paintbrush in hand, and am finishing up the painting I started after I got back from my thanksgiving break. My door bell rings, and I put down my paints to go answer it.

I see Naruto on the other end and he's holding a magazine in his hand. "This is it," he mutters out with a lopsided smile. "Sakura gave it to Hinata and she gave it to me during one of our classes. I haven't read it yet. I want you to read it." He hands me the magazine. On the cover is one of my paintings and in yellow letters under the title it reads, "The real story."

I guide my muse to the living room, and we sit down. He gazes over my shoulder as I turn the pages. I come to a page with my name on it and a picture of Naruto and me. I decide to read it out loud.

The real Story

Anyone can spout rumors that they gathered from 'reliable sources', but we have the real story when it comes to Mr. Sabaku. Who seemed to want to tell the public the truth, no matter how strange. Gaara Sabaku obviously doesn't have a very good relationship with his family. He didn't have much to say about it, and when the subject was brought up he stayed stoic and indifferent. So why listen to them? Because they did tell the truth. Mr. Sabaku doesn't deny any of what his father or brother said, instead just gives us his point of view.

Let me start with his muse. I had the pleasure of meeting the blonde beauty in person, seeing has Mr. Sabaku wasn't planing on hiding the boy. That is how I got the lovely photo of the young couple has seen in the right hand corner. It's true, Gaara Sabaku and Naruto Uzamaki are a pair. The blonde boy is the muse that you see painted in many of Sabaku's paintings. When I ask the young model how it made him feel to be the center of attention, he only gave a humble response.

"I've never felt special because Gaara, the famous artist, loves to paint me. I've just always been happy to pose for him, and I think it's fun to look at the paintings when they're done. It's the way we spend time together, since we don't really go out on 'dates'."

An insight into their relationship, obviously not filled with a lot of romance. Or maybe it doesn't need to be. However it's very clear the two are comfortable with one another, and Mr. Uzamaki has a huge impact on Gaara's art. So instead of the art community acting like it's surprised to find out an artist is gay, lets thank Mr. Uzamaki for inspiring most of Gaara's best works! Mr. Sabaku admits to having lost his Muse after being forced to change schools. Their story is probably one of drama and great endurance, however both the boys seem to want to keep that part of their past private. So maybe the two won't be the next top Hollywood couple, but I must say they are the cutest couple of the art community I've seen yet! 

Now onto the next issue that our rival magazine has posted. The alleged paintings by the great artist made form his own blood! Surprising to say the least, however Mr. Sabaku told me that it was one hundred present true! Though it seemed that the paintings were mainly painted during his childhood, he admits to having a few still, and occasionally repeating the practice. 

When asked why he would do such a painful thing, he simply replayed, "When I was younger I used it as a copping mechanism. Now it is just a habit."

I dug further and was told that it was only partially because of his uncle's death that he performed this action. When I decided to link his uncle's blond hair to the habit of him drawing blondes, he said that it has nothing to do with that. Instead he simply said, "it's what I prefer." 

Doesn't everyone have his or her preferences? So why link it to paintings and blood? Our rival magazine was obviously jumping to conclusion, that only a therapist would have the right to make. However I was told that the blood paintings were triggered by Sabaku's uncle, however most of the blood paintings are self-portraits. So why would Mr. Sabaku's uncle's appearance have triggered his habit of painting blondes? It didn't, it trigger bloody self-portraits. So the only person we have to thank for Mr. Sabaku's art patterns is Naruto Uzamaki, yet again.

Say what you may about the young artist. That is what this article is for, so that you can come to your own conclusion. However we here at Dark Arts, will continue to look out for Mr. Sabaku's breath taking macabre paintings.

I close the magazine, and Naruto smiles up at me. "Not bad," he muses. "I guess we'll just have to see how the public will react."

**Naruto's POV**

It's a busy night at the café. It's been almost a week since the article was publishing with my picture in it. I've had some people recognize me while I was getting their order and serving them. Thankfully nothing extreme has happened, and Gaara hasn't reported any hassling either. It seems like everything is ok…well except that Gaara's looking into getting a new Manager. Not because he quit on him, but his manger seems money greedy. It started ; Gaara told me about it today when I came over. Art collectors and museums in Europe seem enchanted by him, now that they've heard the news too. It's a little weird and kinda creepy that so many people would get interested in your art after you revel you've done blood paintings. Some art collector in France wants one of those paintings. Gaara refuses to sell. For obvious reason, and his manger tired to convince him other wise. He's really getting on Gaara's nerves. Gaara says he's been looking into finding someone new to handle his business, and speak with clients. In the mean time he's taken on some of the jobs from Europe. Like painting for a collector in Italy, and one in England.

I've heard a lot of talk (thanks to Sakura's insight into the art would) that a lot of Gaara's paintings are being auctioned off, but tons of buyers from New York and San Francisco are getting a hold of them. So while some people abandon him, others stand up to support him, and I'm one of those people of course. I'm glade that everything seems ok and that Gaara's art is selling like it normally sells.I'm actually really relieved and happy.

I bring a cup of coffee to a table, and the man thanks me. Sakura then seats a blonde woman at the table next to the man. I let out a sigh. The section of tables I take care off are all occupied. I look around for some other customer I can serve, so I can give the new comer some time to pick out what she wants to have.

However everyone seems satisfied for now. My cell phone begins to ring, and I go to a quiet corner. "Hello?"

"Hey Naruto," It's Sasuke's voice. "So when my brothers subscription to Dark Arts Magazine came in this month I couldn't help but notice you and Gaara are in it. I didn't have time to call any earlier, but I decided I should check up on you."

I smile, "Everythings fine. It didn't turn out as bad as I though it would be."

"That's good. Don't let the fame go to your head."

"What fame? I'm not famous, Gaara's the artist."

"Yeah but you're the trophy wife now."

"Ha, Ha very funny Sasuke."

"I'm sure if you need any advice on how to be atrophy wife Sasuke will be glad to inform you."

"Get off the phone line Itachi!"

"I have a business call to make."

"This late?"

"The business is in another country, there's a time difference."

"Fine…, well Naruto, I'm sure I'll hear from you again, either via phone or magazine. Bye."

"Bye." I hang up with a smile. It's always nice to hear form Sasuke. We're both so busy and far apart it's hard to make time to talk.

I go back to the table where Sakura had seated the blond woman. "Hello are you ready to order?" I ask politely and with my signature smile on my face.

She seems to glare at me a little, and then nods. "Yes," she says the word slowly. I get my pencil ready and ignore her strange behavior. "I'd just like a cup of coffee," she says simply. I don't even bother to write it down.

"All right, I'll get that for you right away," I tell her kindly. However she stops me from leaving.

"You're Uzamaki, aren't you?" she questions with a lifted eyebrow.

"Yes I am ma'am." I say with an uneasy voice.

"I've dealt with your…boyfriend.." she seems to spit out the word in pure disgust.

I try not to glare at her, after all she's a customer, and part of my pay depends on tips. "Well you must be an art dealer or collector. I'm glad you're interested in Gaara's work." I say with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"Oh yes, I've taken a great interest…" She mutters out. I give her a questioning look, however she turns her head away and I'm free to leave.

A/N: Updates will be slow, I have to transfer all my chapter to another computer,when i'm done writing them, in order to post them. Since my computer is without Internet, yet again.


	12. Stalker

Warning: Lemon (Marked like always)

Chapter 12: Stalker

**Naruto's POV**

Every nigh at exactly the same time, that blonde woman enters the café. I always serve her with a smile, and she always glares at me. I don't question it, and I ignore her evil stare for the most part. Still, I can't help but feel uneasy. What does she want and what's her connection to Gaara? I haven't told Gaara about her, I don't want to worry him. I'm sure it's something that will blow over. She's probably just a disappointed fan, maybe she had a crush on my red head. I doubt she'll do anything drastic.

"So what are you going to do tonight?" Sakura ask me as we clean off all the tables.

"I don't know, maybe I'll visit Gaara since I don't have to go to class or work tomorrow."

"Oh that film that he did those photos for, is going to premier next weekend. You ganna go?"

"Don't the movie stars usually go to the first premier?"

"Yeah, and all the people that helped with it too," Sakura points out.

"Well I didn't help," I say plainly.

"Yeah but I'm sure Gaara will be allow to bring a date."

"I'd rather not go. I wouldn't know what to wear."

"You can borrow a dress from me!" Sakura grins.

"Please, your butt's way bigger then mine, your dress isn't going to fit me," I tease the girl. She punches me in the arm.

"Don't be jealous of my womanly form," she says and swipes back her hair.

"Would you two hurry up I'd like to lock up!" Ino snaps at us. Sakura and I roll our eyes and finish cleaning the tables.

I walk out of the café after telling Sakura goodnight. Deciding that I should go visit my redhead (it's not like I'll be interrupting his sleep) I head towards his apartment. There aren't many cars, and I walk rather quickly. It's a habit, I don't like being out in the dark to long. You never know what could happen. I should really get a car or scooter. Suddenly I hear something behind me. I turn around and see nothing. I shrug the noise off and continue walking. I'm not to far away from Gaara's apartment, in ten more minutes I should be at his door.

Then I hear something again, instead of turning around I simply keep walking. I recognize the noise as footsteps following me. I try not to panic and keep my cool. I can see Gaara's building just ahead. I quicken my pace a little, out of fear. Still the footsteps follow me.

I'm relieved when I finally knock on Gaara's door. Gaara opens up, a paintbrush tucked behind his ear.

"I wasn't expecting you tonight." He says plainly and lets me enter his home.

"I just felt like a visit, you don't mind, right?"

"No," of course he wouldn't. I look at the door as Gaara locks it. Green eyes study me, and I give my boyfriend a reassuring smile. However this only makes him more suspicious.

"Is something wrong?" He questions, while walking towards the small flight of steps leading to his room. He doesn't need to tell me to follow him, I do so on my own.

"No," I say with a light laugh. I'm nervous and I can't seem to hide it.

Gaara enters his studio, and sits down on the floor in front of a painting, I sit next to him. I smile as I lay eyes on the nearly complete painting. It's a picture of me split in half. The two halves of me look slight away from the viewer in opposite directions, so you can see the muscles and bones. One side of me is crying, while the other laughs. The side that is crying is in a nice peaceful blue setting, with flowers and trees. The other is in a red setting that resembles my hometown.

"You seem unnerved," Gaara says softly, and takes the paintbrush form his ear and dips it in the blue paint.

"It's…" I think about telling him. "Promise not to over react?" Gaara gives me a dull look. "Oh don't give me that, you over react some times too!"

"All right, I promise," Gaara mutters out.

"Well there's this girl at the café. She's been there this whole week. She always gives me these nasty looks, but that's not what weirds me out about her. She knows you, and I think that's why she's angry with me."

"I'm sure it's just some fan that's unhappy about my relationship with you."

"Yeah I know…but tonight on my way here, I swear someone was following me," I mumble. Gaara puts down his paintbrush and looks at me. He seems to be thinking about what he should say, but he seems lost.

"Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion," I tell him with a chuckle.

"Maybe…" Gaara doesn't seem sure, and I know I've worried him now.

"I like this painting, it's very bright and colorful," I say changing the subject. Gaara goes back to adding more color.

"I've been working on it ever since we got back form thanksgiving," he says in a flat voice.

"Well it's coming along great."

"Naruto.." Gaara's voice is serious, and it chills me. Even if I've changed the subject, Gaara hasn't forgotten what I've just told him. "How do you feel…about coming to live with me?" He questions almost shyly.

A grin spreads across my face. "Really?" Gaara nods slowly. "I'd love that! But, I'd have to move out of my dorm first." I say happily.

"I'll help bring your things over here," Gaara says emotionlessly.

I wrap my arms around my boyfriend and give him a kiss on the cheek. "It'll be like we're married! Oh we should get cats!"

"I hate pets…"

"Then we'll have to adopt an African baby!" Gaara gives me an odd look, "I'm just kidding. We'll save that for when we're thirty."

"I don't think I'll be good with children…" Gaara mumbles out.

I laugh, and let my arms slide down loosely form Gaara's neck. "I'm only joking."

Gaara sits up and stores his painting in a safe, so he can work on it later. "You still looking for a new manager?" I question.

"Yes…however I've had no luck…" he murmurs out.

"I'm sure something will work itself out," I snake my arms around Gaara's hips. He's so skinny. I frown for a while, but decide not to bug him about eating more. Once I move in I'll be able to control his diet. He'll be eating nothing but starches and carbohydrates.

"I hear that the movie you worked on is premiering next weekend."

"I know I got an invitation, however Hollywood seems a long way to travel."

I smile, and nod in agreement. I relax my hold on Gaara's waist and lean up to give him a kiss.

"Your bed's not to far away though," I say suggestively.

"I suppose," Gaara says in his usual tone of voice. However the lack of passion behind the words can be over looked, as I feel his lips press sensually against mine.

"Nothing to extreme, tonight though. Last time I had a hard time the next day," I say softly between kisses.

"Sorry," Gaara apologizes.

"Don't be," I shutter as I think about that orgasmic night. "I liked it." I reassure him. We continue our kissing. We stumble over blank canvases, lamps, and wires. He break apart for air, only to become one again a second later. After many failed attempts of walking out of the room, we both silently decided that we don't need the bed.

xXx

I'm guided down to the floor, and lips continue to kiss me. My back touches newspaper, which doesn't help to cushion my back from the wood flooring. However I don't mind. Gaara shoves away the surrounding paints, and a few of the blank canvases that are to close to my head. It almost feels like I'm lying in a nest. My hands are on either side of Gaara's face, as I deepen our kiss. However my needy kiss is quickly interrupted as my shirt is pulled over my head. I stretch my arms back, and let the fabric run over my face. Once the shirt is discarded I let my arms drop, and they lie there above my head, while Gaara goes to tease my exposed nipples. His tongue runs over the sensitive area, and with every sigh I stretch out my fingers. I touch something, and pick it up. I force my lust heavy eyes to open just enough so that my fogged mind can figure out what's in my hand.

"Ah," I moan out, as Gaara's teeth graze against my heated chest. I close my eyes again and let my head tilt back a little. My hand comes to my side and loosely hangs on to the small paint tube I found.

Gaara then comes up to capture my lips. I gladly open my mouth for him, after teasing his piercing, which I love so much. As we kiss an idea comes to me. A silly, playful idea. I take some of the paint and put it on my finger. While my other hand cups Gaara's face. We part our tongues, and I smile at my boy friend. However that soft content smile turns into a mischievous one, and I tilt Gaara's head up a little. I kiss along his chin gently, before taking the time to draw some eyebrows one him, with my paint soaked finger.

Lucky for me the paint was red, so it matches his hair. I laugh, and Gaara sits up, touching his forehead.

"You're childish," he mumbles out but I continue laughing.

"I couldn't help it," I giggle, but my laughter is soon stopped as I feel a slim finger poke my nose. When I look down I see red in my vision.

"Who's childish now?" I ask my boyfriend.

"You started it," he says emotionlessly.

"Well in that case," I too sit up now. I reach over and pull Gaara's shirt off, and then put more paint on my finger. I draw my finger across Gaara's chest. When I'm done writing I dramatically underline my words, and then lean over to suck on one of Gaara's nipples.

"What…did you write?" My boyfriend asks me, while suppressing a moan. I do not answer but simply push him down. Gaara doesn't put up a fight, and lets his back hit the floor. I trail my tongue up his chest, skillfully avoiding the paint, and then nibble on his neck. Once satisfied with the love bit I've left behind, I put my lips next to his ear. I blow on the lob softly before answering his question.

"See for yourself," I say playfully. I give Gaara room to look at my writing while I unzip his pants.

Gaara boosts himself up a little on his elbows. I tug off his pants. "Naruto's property," he reads out loud.

"Exactly," I coo out while slipping my hand into his underwear. I wrap my hand around Gaara's length. My own body reacts to the feel of the semi-hard member. I shake off a shiver. Gaara lowers himself again, and decides to relax. I wouldn't want it any other way. I free Gaara from his confines, and lower my head down until I can taste him. I close my eyes, and let the familiar taste linger on my tongue. I remember the first time I did this for Gaara…when we were still in school and had little to no privacy. But there are no worries here, just freedom.

Gaara lets out a soft grunt. I barley catch it, but my ears are trained in picking up quiet noises from my love. Gaara moves, and when I look up I see him watching me. I smirk, and suck harder, to excite him more. Gaara's eyes close, and his breathing becomes heavy.

I slowly let my tongue run over his entire length. I can feel him shutter. I then stop abruptly. Green eyes look at me half dazed. I can't help but smile, I've never seen Gaara like this. It's nice to seem him with a lack of control. Though I find it sexier when he's in control of me.

"Can't give you to much," I tell him, "I want to have some fun too." I pout. Gaara's eyes quickly change. It's like a cold wind came over them, and the hot passion is now underneath ice; but still visible.

I'm pulled down roughly and our lips crash together. The newspaper wrinkles as Gaara pins me down, and takes his position on top. His teeth threaten to dig deep into my flesh, however it's only a threat. Instead I feel a gentle sucking right next to my atoms apple. Gaara's hand moves down over my stomach until it reaches my pants. The only sound that fills the air is that off my zipper, and soon I'm freed as well.

Moist lips leave my neck, and instead I have the pleasure of seeing Gaara coat his finger with spit.

"Oh," I sigh out, just the though of what's going to happen next has me ready to cum. However I calm myself a little, and let my head rest to the side with my eyes closed. I feel him inside of me, but it's not enough. It's pure torture, the feeling of being stretched and fondled, but it's just not enough. After what seems like an eternity the intruders leave. I open my eyes to get a glimpse of my lover. I feel his hands on my hips, and then suddenly I'm rolled over.

"Gaara?" I question softly. A tinge runs up my spine. "Ah." It feels like my nerves have lost their sense of direction. My shoulder is teased my sharp teeth, but worst (or best) of all I can feel Gaara's manhood enter me slowly. Painfully slow.

"Un…ah.." I bit my lip, and take in gulps of air. I lean forward so that I can fold my arms and rest my forehead on them. Gaara continues to enter me, and I continue to let out my now muffled cries.

Finally he's in, and he moves quickly. I feel warm, and with every powerful thrust Gaara sends bursts of pleasure up my spine. My sighs, and moans become louder and louder. I try to form Gaara's name, however I'm never successful at completing it. Instead it always ends in either a moan or a yelp. My fingernails dig into he the newspaper underneath me. Gaara's fingers twist around my strained erection, and the touch feels like fire. I become louder, and I am amazed by the volume.

"Gaa..r..Ah!" Finally I find release.

"Naruto…" at the same time that my lover spills his seed inside me.

xXx

I let my body relax, and Gaara gives me my space. I can hear him trying to catch his breath. My eyes are heavy and my throat feels sore.

"I think I woke up the whole apartment complex," I joke in a horse voice.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Gaara whispers out. My boyfriend reaches for his pants and pulls them on. He then lifts me up, and cradles me in his arms. I let my head fall against his chest, my breathing is still uneven.

I soon find myself between soft pillows. Gaara pushes some hair out of my face, and then gets up. I reach out for him.

"Come, sleep with me," I plead.

"I'll come back after I take a shower," he explains.

"Fine," I mutter out and let my eyes close.

**Gaara's POV**

"That's the last of it," Naruto sets down a plastic bag full of clothes. His friend Shino silently puts another smaller bag down next to his.

"Thanks for your help, and tell Kiba the same," Naruto says gratefully.

"No problem," the brunette says. While I am still sitting on the floor putting together Naruto's desk.

"If you're thirsty you can have something to drink," I offer quietly, attempting to act like a normal civilized person.

"That's fine, thanks anyway," the boy in the shades says. "I'll see you after Christmas break then."

"Yeah have fun at Kiba's," Naruto says cheerfully, and guides his friend to the exit.

He closes the door, and turns around quickly. "Which reminds me, what are we going to do for Christmas?" I shrug, and try to concentrate on figuring out how this desk is supposed to be assembled.

"Do you even celebrate Christmas?" he questions, and sits down next to me. He picks up a random piece of wood and eyes it.

"I stopped celebrating, when my uncle, died," I say plainly.

"Oh…" Naruto feels sorry for asking, I can tell by his voice. "Well then we'll have to make this Christmas extra special!"

I watch my blonde hop up to his feet. He looks around the room. "We'll have to pick a spot for the tree," I mutters more to himself then me. My cell phone rings, and I answer it, decided to let Naruto ponder about decorations.

"Yes?" I expect to hear my manager's voice on the other end but am surprised to hear a female voice instead.

"Hey Gaara," Temari says.

"How'd you get my number?" I question her.

"I looked up your manger and he gave it to me," She says softly.

"Oh…" I don't know what to say to her. Naruto turns a questioning look towards me.

"I know I haven't talked to you in a while…but..I was hoping we could get together for the holidays. As a family."

I look down at the floor, and do not answer my sister. "Gaara?" she questions, worry in her voice. "Please?"

"Only you?" I question her.

She pauses now. "I wanted to bring along Kankuro…dad refused…"

"Then I have to agree with father," I say and am tempted to end the call, however instead I wait for her response.

"I know that there's been a lot of tension between everyone. Dad's old and set in his ways, but there's a chance for the three of us to still become a family. Please Gaara?"

"Why this all of a sudden?" I question her with suspicion.

"Because I'm tired of acting like you don't exist, and I'm tired of seeing the hate between my two little brothers. Gaara…out of everyone you should trust me. I helped you..I know when we were little I'd sometimes yell at you and tell you that you killed mom, right along with dad. But I've always helped you too, and written to you. I'm ashamed I lost touch with you…but I had to start my own life. I'm glade to see that you've started a good one for yourself too."

It's a life that I couldn't have started, with out her help. Still I do not want to see Kankuro. Especially after he spoke to that one magazine. I look at Naruto, who still seems confused.

"Where do you want to meet?" I question her.

I can hear the happiness in her voice.

"Well Kankuro still lives with dad, so we can't meet there. I'm down here for a late business transaction, but I should be done before the holidays. We could meet back at my place. I live in—"

"No, just come over here," I say in an emotionless tone.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok, what's your address?" I give my sister all the necessary information, and then hang up.

"Who was that?" Naruto questions.

"My sister," I say softly.

"What did she want?" My nymph asks carefully. I don't need to tell him, I doubt that he's expecting me to answer, however there's no point in waiting.

"She wants to visit for Christmas..." I mutter out.

"Oh..that sounds nice.." the statement sounds more like a question.

"Does that blonde women still show up at your job?" I change the subject.

Naruto gives me a soft smile. The type of smile that tells me 'please don't worry'. "Yeah…she comes in everyday. She sits in the same spot. She always glares at me...luckily I got my boss to assign me some different tables so I don't have to serve her." He explains. I think the statement over, and then continue to work on the desk.

"Are you worried?" He questions me.

"I have every right to be," I mumble out.

"Oh it's nothing, I'm sure," however he doesn't sound so sure.

"Naruto…it doesn't look like this is something that'll blow over. Or else she would have left you alone by now."

"Well I can't give up my job!" I look at Naruto with question. I don't see why not. Naruto narrows his eyes at me. "Oh no, I don't want to be dependent on you." He tells me. "I'd feel useless."

I do not say anything in return. Naruto's feelings are understandable.

"Which reminds me, how much rent should I pay?"

"None," I say plainly. I've put Naruto's name on the lease, however I do not expect him to pay rent.

"Do I have to repeat myself?"

"No, however I can take care of the rent just fine." Besides, even if I split the rent in half, I doubt that Naruto would be able to afford it. He should keep his money for his education.

"God, you're hopeless. How much? Two hundred?" I ignore him. "I'm not living here rent free," he pokes my arm.

"Fine, ten."

Naruto's mouth drops, "Ten hundred?'

"No, ten dollars."

"That's not rent, now seriously."

"I am serious, that's all I'm charging you."

"Ten a month?" he questions. I nod. "Geeze you're acting like you're my sugar daddy or something."

"If we were married you wouldn't think that way." I mutter out.

"Oh so you do want to marry me," Naruto says playfully, and wraps his arms around my neck. I say nothing. I was only trying to prove a point.

* * *

"Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me  
I've been an awful good girl  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue  
I'll wait up for you dear  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed  
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could be oh so good  
If you'd check off my Christmas list  
Boo doo bee doo

Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's  
Not a lot  
I've been an angel all year  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight."

The atmosphere is rather cozy. I don't believe I've ever felt so at peace around the holidays. Probably because I've never really celebrated it in this way before. Naruto keeps singing the song that's playing on the radio. I much rather prefer his voice, over the high pitched one playing in the background.

"You have the lights untangled yet?" my muse asks me as he finishes putting the ornaments on the tree.

"Almost," I mutter out.

"Well I have to get ready for work," Naruto says, and puts down the empty ornament box.

"You're working tonight?" I question. It'll be Christmas in two weeks, and Naruto hasn't taken any time off. I would have though he'd take the opportunity to relax, since he doesn't have any classes. I know that I've put my work on hold.

"Yeah, I'll be working all the way up until the day before Christmas Eve. I thought I told you."

"No," I say plainly, and continue to untangle the lights.

"Well now you know. I'll be home at the usual time!" I watch my nymph disappear into our bedroom, to change into his work clothes. My sister should be arriving tomorrow, along with my brother. I'm not really looking forward to it, and neither is Naruto. He didn't mind the idea, until I informed him my brother is coming as well. However he put on his smile, and told me that he will deal with Kankuro, and try not to be too rude.

As I sit on the couch, I wonder why I even agreed to humor my sister. Maybe it's because I do owe her, for her help. Still I feel no joy at the though of my siblings coming for a visit.

**Naruto's POV**

I can't help but look over my shoulder at the familiar blonde women. Even though Ino's the one taking her order, it doesn't make me feel any better about coming to work. I try not to let it get to me and I continue to take the dishes off of the table. I walk towards the kitchen and out of the corner of my eye I can see here watching me. I wonder what she wants, or what she hopes this will do. Does she plan on glaring at me so long that I'll eventually break up with Gaara? I laugh a little to myself. I waited two years, I'm not about to give up my boyfriend because of that dumb bitch. I give the dishes to the dishwasher and then head back out.

Christmas music fills the air, and people all are drinking either hot chocolate or coffee. Fruitcake is rarely order but offered anyway, around this time of year. I go about doing my work. I volunteered to work up until the day before Christmas Eve, while Sakura as already taken off. Which means more work for Ino and me. All I know is that I need the money. The gift I bought for Gaara was rather expensive, and took out a good chunk of my savings. Of course I'm not going to tell him that. I'll be fine if I continue working; I'll have the money back in no time. I hardly ever put anything in my savings anyway. I end up sending most of my money over to Iruka, to help pay for my education.

Slowly the night goes on and customers leave satisfied with their hot beverages. Like always the mysterious blonde women stays in her seat until Ino brings out the keys to lock up. I head out the door, after cleaning off my tables. I don't bother to say goodnight to Ino. Luckily she's leaving me alone for the most part. Though I do miss Sakura, I don't like being stuck 'alone' with Ino.

I zip up my jacket and tuck my hands into my pockets. I also don't like walking home anymore, because every time I swear I hear someone following me. I'm probably just acting paranoid because of that blonde lady, but still. I'm grateful nothing drastic has happened yet. I just wish she'd leave me alone. Maybe I should ask Gaara to come to work with me tomorrow so I don't have to walk alone…Oh I cant. I let out a sigh as I remember that tomorrow is the day his siblings will be coming over. I hope they don't say anything stupid. I know Kankuro very well…sadly. I'm not going to judge his sister, because I hardly know her. Besides she must be ok if she convinced my antisocial boyfriend to have a gathering.

I hear the click clack of high heals. I quicken my pace a little. They do the same. I become agitated, and turn around, to face my stalker. This time to my surprise she's standing right in front of me, only two feet away.

My skin feels sweaty, but I tell myself there's nothing to be afraid of. She's only a woman…I'm sure I could take her if it comes to that.

"What the hell do you want form me?" I question her. Tired of ignoring her constant glaring. No I'm going to stand up for myself, and get rid of her.

"What do you want with Mr. Sabaku?"

"I don't believe that's really any of your business lady." I tell her.

She seems to get angry with me. "Why should you have him? He's so talented, handsome and articulate. You can hardly express yourself, and look homely."

"Well at least I don't have to dye my hair. Sorry to break it to you, but Gaara likes real blondes, Barbie."

The woman's mouth falls open a little, but she pulls herself together. She flips her light blonde hair back. "I'll have you know he was looking at me the entire time I was conduction business with him."

"He was probably trying to figure out if that tan came out of a bottle, or if your skin is naturally that orange," I remark. I'm pushed against the wall, and am surprised that this woman is actually strong enough to shove me against the bricks.

"You listen here you little tramp, Mr. Sabaku deserves better then you. Someone who'll look good on his arm. Not some piece of shit off the street. Someone that can help further his career and build his reputation. Not drag it down in the mud. Someone who actually knows about true art."

"You can say what you want but it doesn't change anything," I hiss at her. I'm covering up the fact that her words actually stung. After all what do I really know about art? If it weren't for Sakura…I'd be completely out of touch…

"Why don't you do Mr. Sabaku a favor and drown yourself. You've ruined him. People talk about his 'muse' with disgust and distaste."

"That's not true…He's still doing fine with his sales..Besides there are plenty of homosexuals in the art related community," I defend myself however I don't sound all too confident. It's hard for me to act confident and unaffected when I'm thinking of the path my mother took. Why is it that…there's always someone trying to keep me from Gaara? Do they see something I don't?

"It doesn't matter. Think about it, Mr. Sabaku deserves someone better then you."

I push away all my insecure thoughts and let my anger shine through. This woman doesn't know Gaara, she's clamed to have done business with him, but that doesn't mean anything. All the people that have tried to keep me from Gaara…they all did it out of pure ignorance. It's not that they saw something I didn't…it's that they saw what they wanted to see. They didn't try to understand…just like this woman.

"You don't know Gaara the way I do. You can say what you want…but you'll never know Gaara the way I do. So piss off. Leave me the fuck alone," I walk away from the woman however she reaches out for my hand and stops me.

"I know him…I do!" She yells at me. I glare at her. "It's not fair that you…that a man should be able to be with him..It's not right!"

I try to shake her off. "Let me go."

"No!" I see her take out a knife. "I deserve him, I know more about art..about public appearance then you do. I've followed his career, and admired his work. His deep and emotional work..they all cry out in bright reds, yellows and melancholy blues. Have you notices that?"

I stare into the woman's blue eyes. She seems lost. desperate and insane. However…I can see she wouldn't really hurt me. She just wants to scare me, so that she can continue on with her delusions without my interference. I turn towards her and take her hand.

"Let go, I'll cut you!" she threatens. However I keep my hold on her. She attempts to wiggle her hand out of mine so that she can use her knife.

"It's ok. I'm sure that a lot of people find you beautiful…and intelligent. You just have to look for them," I try to calm her down. She looks at me with great confusion.

"Don't change the subject. I was so happy when I met Gaara in person. I felt so beautiful when he looked at me. Only him!" She yells out. There are a lot of people in this world that aren't in their right mind..it's sort of sad. As I continue to look at this woman all I can do is feel sorry for her. Who knows what happened to her to make her latch on to Gaara so badly. To pick out someone famous and begin to love them…even though she hardly knows them. I've heard of this sort of thing..people do it all the time. They sigh and say, 'I love Johnny Depp' of course they realize that they don't' have a chances. They see that their love is shallow…However, some people don't see the difference between love and admiration. They just keep holding on. This woman is one of those people…she can't see the line..she doesn't notice the difference. Maybe that's because she's never known real love, and she's desperate. Either way I need to get out of here.

We continue to struggle, and I wonder why it's so quiet out. There aren't any cars, or at least I can't hear them. "You don't deserve him," she mutters out, but finally gives up. I let her fall to the floor and I back away.

She glares up at me, but before she can say anything I speak. "Tomorrow you might feel different about everything you said. I think it'll be good if you just let things go. And not follow me around. It won't change anything. If anything it'll get you in trouble. I haven't called the police on you yet, but I might…if you keep showing up at my job," I threaten her in the kindest voice possible. I'm not sure if I can reason with her, but I'm trying. She seems to be thinking this over, and I continue to back away. She lets her head drop and her light blonde hair falls in her face. I don't bother to stick around anymore, and haul ass out of there. I don't know if anything I said has reached her, but I'm not sticking around to find out. I feel sorry for her and all, but she still has a knife!

I finally reach the apartment and I take out my key. I open the door and practically fall into my home. Gaara's in the kitchen pouring himself some apple juice.

"Are you all right?" he questions with a title of his head.

"No! A crazy fan girl tried to stab me!" I yell out frantically. Gaara puts down the bottle of juice, and stare at me with great confusion. "That blonde chick I told you about. She pulled out a knife this time. I told her if she keeps bothering me I'll call the police," I breathe out.

"We should have called the police before she did this," Gaara mutters out.

"Yeah but we didn't," I say plainly and hang up my key.

"Did she…hurt you?"

I smile at my red head's concern. "No, I'm ok."

"I'd feel better if you'd just take a vacation, and not go to work anymore this week." Gaara says sternly and puts away the bottle of juice.

"I need the money."

Gaara turns around, his cold green eyes staring at me. "Your safety is more important then money. Besides you can always borrow from me."

"No I'm fine. I fought her off tonight, and if she shows up again tomorrow I'm calling the police. Problem solved plain and simple." Green eyes look at me with worry.

"Maybe I should come to work with you tomorrow?"

"What bout your siblings?"

Gaara pauses. "I'm sure…they can be alone for a while. This is more important."

"Gaara I can handle myself, don't worry," I tell him with a wide smile.

"It would make me feel better if I came," I open my mouth ready to protest. However Gaara shifts his weight to his right hip, and looks at me with a freezing intensity. I shut my mouth, and one side of my lip raises in pity.

"In all honesty..I was thinking the same thing. I just didn't want to ruin your evening with your siblings."

"It'll be fine. I'm sure I won't be able to stand Kankuro for more then a couple of hours."

I chuckle a little. "Ok, than. It'll make us both feel better. She might not even come tomorrow, I might have scared her off.'

"I'm still coming…just in case," Gaara mutters out and goes to sit on the couch. I follow.

"Of course."

A/N: Every so often I can pop out a long chapter. I wasn't even planing on making it this long, it just happened.


	13. Visits

Chapter 13: Visits

**Naruto's POV**

"What are you doing?" Gaara comes out of the bathroom fully dress and hair still moist, from his shower.

"What does it look like? I'm cleaning."

"…Why?"

"Cause your siblings are coming today, and there's not going to be one speck of dust anywhere. I already know your brothers going to make some sort of stupid house wife comment to me, but I'll be damned if he's going to tell me I'm a bad house wife." I say and furiously scrub the wood floor with orange glow.

"Why would it matter? I'm the one who usually does the cleaning," Gaara mutters out.

"It's matter Gaara! Cause your brother is a big fat jerk! And he'll assume that I'm your personal maid slash sex toy. And that is why I'm cleaning the floor damnit!" Gaara's emotionless eyes stare at me blankly, and he says nothing. He knows at this point logic has left my mind, and there's nothing he can say that will stop me form cleaning this apartment form top to bottom!

My red head walks to the kitchen, careful not to step into the wet area's of the floor. "Have you at least eaten breakfast?" He questions.

"I had raman," I tell him. It's the perfect food to fuel an illogical task such as this! "I'll cook you some breakfast though," I tell him and put down my mop.

"No, I'm fine.." He says and opens the refrigerator.

I get up and jump over the area I just cleaned. "No, if I leave you in charge of feeding yourself, you'll starve." Gaara looks at me dully. "Don't try to argue with me. Go sit down, I'll make you something." With out a single word Gaara does as he's told.

I take out some eggs, and cut up some vegetables and ham. "Are you nervous about your siblings coming?" I ask Gaara as I start a cup of coffee.

"No...Obviously you are," he mutters out.

"I'm not nervous, it's just I have this feeling Kankuro's going to give us a hard time. Just like in High school. Besides he's the one who blabbed to that magazine."

"I know."

"So aren't you just…angry?" I growl out.

"No."

"Geeze…we really need to work on your nonexistent emotions."

"You have enough emotion for the both of us," Gaara say plainly.

"I don't' believe I've ever seen you really angry…" I muse.

"I don't get angry, I get annoyed," Gaara explains.

"Well I'm getting angry with Kankuro, I'll tell you that already," I say and start cracking an egg into the pan. I wait a while before I add the vegetables and ham, to the omelet. "How long are they staying? Will they be staying all the way up till Christmas?"

"No, they'll be leaving Christmas eve." He tells me.

I smile, "Good then we have Christmas all to our selves, and we can exchange presents."

"Ok," Gaara mutters out.

"You did get me a present right?"

"Of course."

"Ok, good," I say happily and flip the omelet over. I then slip it on to a plate and set it in front of Gaara.

"So I made a shopping list, we need some stuff. Most importantly we're running low on roman. I was thinking we could get one of those inflatable mattresses to put in your studio." Gaara looks at me strangely. I turn around to take out the cup of coffee and pour it for him, before I explain my resoning.

"So your sister can stay there and be comfortable. Kankuro can sleep on the floor for all I care."

"Why my studio?"

"Because I said so." Gaara glares at me a little. "What? You can move some of your stuff out of the way."

"My stuff is staying where it is."

"Fine be that way."

"Besides we'd have no privacy if she was in the other room. There's no door."

"So?" Gaara tilts his head back and gives me a suggestive look.

"Oh…Oooh. Well I just assumed you wouldn't want to do anything like that while they were here." I explain.

"Stress relief," Gaara mutters out.

I grin wildly. "Sound like I'm in for a kinky rid."

Gaara rolls his eyes. "Don't you have cleaning to do?"

"Fine I get the hint. Don't want to talk about it, fine. Don't know why it's such a taboo, its our sex life," I tease. I catch Gaara's cheeks turning a little pink and I chuckle to myself. Some thoughts he still keeps bottled up, including his sexual fantasies. I wonder if Gaara's ever had a wet dream about me. If he did…what did we do? I think about the various dreams I've had over the years, and wonder if my boyfriend's dreams are just as extreme. If his paintings are any indication then I'm being ripped to shreds and mutilated.

"What are you thinking about?" Gaara question me. Fork hovering in front of his mouth.

"Nothing, why?"

"Because you're sweaty..."

I touch my face. "It's nothing at all, I have cleaning to do!" I say cheerfully and run off.

* * *

The door bell rings and my heart stops. I look at the clock and notice that it's only eleven thirty. They can't be arriving that early, right? I put down the swiffer duster and take of my apron. I open the door.

"Hello," I let out a sigh of relief, it's just the mailman. Though the apartment complex has mail slots what the mailman is holding in his hands is too big to fit in Gaara's box. "Can you sign for this package?"

"Of course," I say and take the pen that he's offering me. Once everything is done, I'm handed the package along with Gaara's mail. I close the door and set the mail on the counter. There's a stack of letters, and my eyes shift around warily. Gaara isn't here, and I won't open any of the letters, I just want to look at the front of them. I flip through the envelopes. Insurance bill, cable bill, and credit card bill. I didn't even know Gaara had a credit card! All I have is a stinking debit card. I look at the box and smile, but that card did come in handy. I take my package, I know what's inside of it. Deciding I'll finish cleaning later, I take the box upstairs.

I open up the package and there is another box inside along with a padded envelope. I take these two things out. Inside the envelope is a silky white baby doll dress, along with white fishnet stocking, Mary Jane shoes, and a curly blonde wig. They are all in miniature, and I admire them for a moment, before reaching for the other box. I slid of the lid of the box, and inside is Gaara's present all bundled up in bubble wrap. I carefully unwrap her and when I hear something pop I panic. I quickly take off the rest and look her over. I let out a sigh of relief nothing broke. I look at her face, which is completely blank, and her eyes match mine. I awkwardly dress the long limb creature, and to top it off put on her blond wig. A smile crosses my face as I take a good look at her and then put her back into her box. I put the cover on and slide her under the bed. If Gaara gets everything on the shopping list then I'll be able to wrap it up this evening.

I wonder were Gaara's hiding my present. I look under the bed to make sure he hasn't already claimed that hiding spot, however there's nothing there. I get up and decided to snoop around in his studio. After all I already know he's bought me a present.

I look around his computer desk, and behind empty canvases, but there's nothing. Where else could he hide it? It can't be in the closet, we share that space. I'll just have to wait till Christmas. I pick up the original packaging box, and stuff the bubble wrap and envelope in it. I walk down to the kitchen and stuff it into the trash can.

I then go to retrieve my duster and apron, to continue on my cleaning spree. I should really clean the upstairs. I've basically cleaned every inch of the house, including the bathroom. Well of course not counting our room and Gaara's studio.

I finish up my dusting and then move up to clean the floors upstairs. I look at the clock on my way up. I know that the shopping list was long, but Gaara's been gone for hours! I take my mop and run it over the wood flooring. The doorbell rings yet again.

"Ah, what is it this time," I say and drop the mop handle. I run my hand through my hair, to catch some of the lose strands. I open the door, with an aggravated sigh.

"Nice apron," Kankuro says. Just my luck that they would show up when Gaara isn't here.

"Come in," I say and step aside, ignoring the boys earlier comment.

"Nice to see you again Naruto," Gaara's sister says. I give her a smile.

"I'm sorry I don't remember your name," I admit.

"Temari," she says plainly, and steps into the apartment.

"Ok, Temari, can I get you something to eat, or drink?"

"No thank you," She mutters out and her dark eyes look around the apartment.

"I'd like something to eat." Kankuro says.

"Then get it yourself," I tell him.

"Well you're not a very good hostess at all," Kankuro says with a grin on his face.

"Kankuro, can you not be an ass for just a couple of minutes?" Temari questions glaring at her brother.

"I promised to be nice to Gaara, not his boyfriend."

"He's part of the family now too," Temari tells Kankuro, though her eyes are on me. I give her an appreciative smile.

"Gay marriage isn't legal in this state," Kankuro murmurs.

"If you don't want to be here you don't have to be," I tell Kankuro. I'd much rather have him gone.

"Oh but I do want to be here. I came here for Gaara, not for you."

"What do you want from Gaara?"

"We all want to try and act like a civilized family for once," Temari snaps. "Where is Gaara anyway?" she lets out a sigh.

"He went shopping he should be back soon," I tell her. I glare at Kankuro, I wonder what he really wants. I don't trust that his intentions are as pure as Temari's. Maybe he's trying to dig up some more dirt he can feed to magazines, or something.

**Gaara's POV**

I unhook a box and basket from the back of my motorcycle. I'm surprised they didn't slip off, however I did secure them tightly. The basket is the basket we regularly use for groceries. The box is the inflatable mattress Naruto wanted me to get. I also have groceries in the backpack strapped to my back. I take the basket and box in hand and start to walk up the apartment steps. I reach for my keys, and balance the groceries as I unlock the front door.

"Oh, there he is," I hear Naruto saying. He rushes up to me and takes some of the groceries. "You're siblings are here. Kankuro is already getting on my nerves," he mutters out in a low voice. I nod and let Naruto put away the food in the kitchen, as I go greet my siblings.

"Hey Gaara," Temari gets up of the couch and walks towards me. "It's really good to see you again," She says softly.

"Yeah…" I mumble out for lack of better words. However this doesn't seem to bother my sister at all.

"I'd love to hear how you've been doing since you left. I know some things from magazines, but we can catch up." She tells me in an almost commanding voice. She takes a seat on the couch next to my brother.

"Yeah Gaara tell us about your life." Kankuro muses.

I sit down; I'm not one for small talk. I look to see Naruto still busy in the kitchen. "There's not much to say, I work, I go to school. That's it." I say.

"How about Naruto," Temari looks at the blonde in the kitchen with wary eyes. "You' two are getting along right?"

"Yes," I give my sister an odd look.

"Are you happy with him?" She questions.

"Why do you ask?" I retort.

Temari looks at Kankuro, and my brother lets out a sigh. "I get the hint," he says and lifts his arms, then leaves my sister and me alone. He heads for the kitchen. I hope he doesn't end up aggravating Naruto too much.

"It's just…isn't it just a little it to convenient that he came back to you around this time?" My sister questions.

"We where separated because of military school," I tell her plainly.

"Yes but he pops back into your life when you're doing this well. Aren't you suspicious?"

"No," I say plainly. I've never doubted Naruto. He accepted me long before I became wealthy. He still accepts me, and is not frightened away by my morbid out look on life. Besides he never once asked me for money. When I offered it to him he turned it down, and insisted he pay some sort of rent. I don't believe Naruto would use me.

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Is it so hard to believe that I could have a lasting relationship?" I question my sister. Her eyes grow wide.

"That's not what I meant by that!"

"Then worry about your own love life, not mine," I mutter out rudely.

"Gaara I'm s—"

"I have snakes," Naruto interrupts my sister and sets a plate of tiny sandwiches and chips on the coffee table. Kankuro takes one of these sandwiches and Naruto takes a seat between Temari and me and hands me one.

"I'm not—" I don't' finish my sentence as Naruto glares at me. I take the sandwich and start to eat even though I'm not really that hungry. I don't understand why he insists that I eat so much.

"Would you like one?" He questions Temari.

"No I'm still not very hungry," she says with a wave of her hand. She watches Naruto closely. He takes two sandwiches and begins to eat one.

"Gaara, so how do you feel about your chubby boyfriend's weight?" Kankuro asks casually.

"Excuse me?! Look who's talking fatty!" Naruto yells.

"Why is it you decided to come?" I question my brother calmly.

"Yeah!" Naruto says, while taking a large bite of sandwich.

"I just want to make peace," He says slyly with a shrug.

"Then don't' aggravate Naruto," I tell him plainly.

"Yeah," Naruto nods his head. He leans in close to me. "Do you think I'm fat?" He questions.

"You're chubby," I point out. This causes my boyfriend to gasp. I realize that Naruto has taken this as an insult. "It's nice." I add.

"Oh, ok," he says cheerfully. "So what made you change your mind all of a sudden, Kankuro?" Naruto asks him with great suspicion.

"Well, I guess I should apologize," Kankuro says softly. "I've been angry at Gaara all these years for interrupting our peaceful family. Everything was fine before he was born," I could still hear the underlying disgust in my brothers tone.

Temari seems proud, and satisfied. She turns her head towards me expectantly. Is there something I should say? That I accept his apology? I'm not sure that I do, I don't really want to have anything to do with my brother or my father. They are just two people I can live with out.

"That's fine," I say quietly, and this makes my sister smile. However that doesn't mean that there is peace. Maybe it's Naruto's paranoia rubbing off on me, but I can't shake the feeling that Kankuro isn't very sincere.

"Well I'll set up some beds, and get out some covers." Naruto say and gets up, after finished his second sandwich.

"I'll help," Temari offers and follows my muse.

"So you're doing pretty good with your art," Kankuro says carefully. I look at him and nod. His words seem strained and the atmosphere is full of unease.

"You may be fooling Temari, but I'm no idiot," I say straight out. Kankuro laughs.

"You're right I'm struggling, it's not easy to pretend like we're a normal family." I eye my brother. "Dad's dying…" he says softly. His eyes tell me he's not joking. I don't speak, what am I suppose to say? I feel no emotion…no sorrow.

"What's wrong with him?" I ask, feeling like a stranger.

"Brain tumor…" he says quietly.

"Fitting," I mutter out.

Kankuro glares at me, "How can you be so heartless?"

I turn a quick glare to my brother. "You just said we're not a normal family. Why do you believe I'm this way?" I question him. I calm myself down, there's no need to lose control. However…much like Naruto's parents is a sensitive subject for him…my past is a subject I don't like to dwell on.

"He lost his wife, we lost our mother. Anyone would be bitter," Kankuro says sternly.

"I understand," I say quietly. "It's only human nature to try and find someone to blame," I tell him. Even if that someone is an innocent party. I'll admit I'm far from pure. I took the life of my uncle…and my mother's life was traded for mine. I know I've causes people discomfort, however I've never tried to cause them pain. I've pushed them away, and I've gotten into fights…yes. I'm no saint, however there are worse sinners.

"That's why Temari's acting like this. I can't promise anything, I doubt we can just shove everything aside. You and Temari get along fine. I...I still don't really like you to be honest," Kankuro says truthfully. I do not answer.

The sound of shuffling comes from up stairs. I turn my attention to my bedroom door. Naruto emerges from the doorway with an air pump and bed sheets in hand, Temari carries the pillows.

* * *

Naruto and I walk side by side. "Is something bothering you? You worried Kankuro is going to mess up the house?" Naruto questions.

I am somewhat amused by his distrust directed at my brother. "No," I mumble out.

"I think Temari will keep him in check. She seems very nice, maybe having them over won't be so bad."

"My father has a tumor," I find myself saying abruptly. Naruto stops in his tracks and stares at me.

"What?"

"Brain tumor, he's dying…" I explain.

"Oh…" Naruto whispers.

"Is it..." I shake my head, slowly to myself. There's no need to ask the question, however for some reason I need some sort of justification. It's always like this, every time I'm around my family I feel like a monster. The farthest thing from human. Maybe it's because I expect to be yelled at, and pushed down. Maybe that's why I become even more emotionless when I'm around them. To protect myself. It doesn't matter, I shouldn't let old habits get in the way. I don't' care about my brother's opinion, yet this question nags at me. I want to ask Naruto, and my nymph waits patiently for me to complete my sentence.

I start to walk again and Naruto seems surprised. It takes him a couple of seconds to star moving himself. "What is it Gaara?" he ask softly. His voice sounds so gentle and low.

"Is it ok...that I don't care?" I question him. I feel like I should be emotional…however I can't bring myself to feel anything other then…relief.

"Gaara," Naruto sighs out and takes my hand. "Why should you care? Honestly, it' not like he ever treated you kindly, right? He never acted like a father to you. You've detached yourself from him, that's perfectly understandable."

I nod, and let my hand hold on tightly to Naruto's. I agree with him. I've never seen him as a father, just my keeper. That doesn't make me a monster. Society must be getting to me. The expectation of having to feel some sort of emotion because your father is dying, it's how society would want you to act. I've never let that rule me though. I suppose it's Kankuro's blatant words that made me feel a little abnormal. Let him see me as heartless, but I know that I'm not. My heart beats for only one person.

A/N: I've add it a 'up and coming' stories 'section' to my profile, if any of you are interested in seeing who stories replace what, and what you might find next to read if anything once other stories are done. Anyway, let me just take the time to say thanks for all the reviews, every so often I have acknowledge your kindness, right? Of course!


	14. Stress

**Important note!! Please read!!:** Please bare with me. For those people who have read my other stories you may have noticed that sometime I stop writing out of sickness. Well it's about time I explain that because sometimes when someone says 'I'm sick', people think it's like a cold. I have chromic Gastritis, which basically means I have a lot of stomach issues and pain. It comes and goes it gets better then worse. I have my good days and my bad. Ontop of that because of earlier sickness in my past, my immune system is crap, and I catch colds very easily, and a lot of food upsets me very easily. Also recently I've been having some mental health issues I've been working out. I don't want to abandon my readers, but please understand that with school and up flares that sometimes I do not have the time, motivation, or will to write. So every so often I need a break. I'll do my best to update whenever I can, thank you.

Chapter 14: Stress

**Naruto's POV**

I look around the small café as I set a cup of coffee in front of a customer. She's not here. A wave of pride washes over me, I knew I handled that situation well. I turn towards Gaara with a smile. It's good that his coming here was unnecessary. I didn't expect that chick would be back…but you never know. I was worried too after all, but know I feel really relieved.

I head back into the kitchen, wondering what Gaara's siblings are doing at the moment. I almost feel like a bad host leaving them there all alone, even if they didn't seem to mind. Well Kankuro made a remark, but who cares about his opinion?

Cakes and drinks are slipped onto my tray yet again, and my memory guides me to the table, which ordered these treats.

"Here you go, enjoy," I say cheerfully and get thanks in return.

"Excuse me waiter!" I voice calls. I turn towards the noise, and my earlier relief drops into my stomach. I look at the familiar bleach blonde, though she seems more benign, with disappointment.

"The usual," she says and her eyes trail off, and fall on Gaara. I watch her reaction, he face slowly changing. Gone is the soft analytical expression and again I see the almost desperate insanity.

I look around quickly to make sure all my customers at the moment don't need me, before shuffling off to Gaara's table.

"That her?" He questions calmly.

"Yeah…you would think she'd get a hint. Are you sure it was a good idea for you to show up?" I ask studying her face.

"I'll go talk to her, she won't see me as a threat."

"I don't think you can reason with the insane," I mutter out under my breath.

"She didn't seem that far gone when she was displaying some of my art in her gallery." He says in a monotone voice and gets up.

"Naruto talk to your boyfriend on your own time, clean some tables!" Ino shouts out at me suddenly. I push back my urge to yell obscenities at her and just do as I'm told. I'm sure that Gaara can handle himself.

**Gaara's POV**

Her eyes watch me as I slowly rise from my seat. I look at her calmly and walk her way. Her eyes seem to sparkle for a moment and a smile appears on her face. Before I ask if I can sit she speaks.

"Do you remember me?" she asks with excitement in her voice.

"Of course," I say emotionlessly, letting my eyes study her. She seems content, and gestures for me to sit, I take the offer.

"I've heard so many things about you, in magazines and such…I've talked to your…lover.." she pauses, I wait for her to continue, but she may not have anymore to say. "Are you really attracted to some one like that?"

"He's my muse," I tell her plainly.

"He has no class…he's...a man.." she sneers. "I could support you, I understand you. Don't' you believe I do?" She is pleading with me, and the tone disturbs me.

"You're an intelligent woman and it was a pleasure to do business with you, however my love life is not something that I believe you know anything about."

"I know you, I know you're soul, I've studied your paintings so much. I remember how you looked at me, don't act like you didn't feel something."

I become uneasy, and I realize how very inexperience I am when it comes to human emotion. How is it that emotion can make you feel so joyful…yet drive you insane. This woman is complex, and eerie, and I don't know how to handle the situation.

"Please, Ms. Cowell, was it?"

"Yes," she seems flattered that I remembered her name, which doesn't seem to help her obsession.

"You would be doing me a favor, if you where to leave Naruto alone."

Her smile drops and she stares at me like a homeless child. She turns her head and looks down at her lap, which her purse is sitting on. Then a small chuckle escapes her lips. "Anything for you, Mr. Sabaku." She says cheerfully but her smile is forced. "Have a pleasant evening," she gets up and quickly leaves the café.

However her words do not comfort me, and I look at the kitchen door wonder how much longer Naruto needs to work.

* * *

"So she just left?" Naruto's fingers curl around mine tightly.

"Yes," I reply.

"Well I guess it's a good thing you came after all." I didn't go into great detail about the conversation I had with the women, or the uneasy feeling I got from her. I don't want to worry Naruto, I want him to feel safe. I doubt that Ms. Cowell will try anything anymore, if anything she'll try to contact me, not terrorize Naruto.

I take out the apartment key from my pocket as we enter the parking lot.

"You think you're siblings are still awake?" Naruto questions.

"I don't know…" I mutter out. We go up to our home and I unlock the door. I quietly open the door just in case my brother and sister have gone to sleep.

"Oh...Dad I have to go," I her Temari whisper, the click of the phone follows. I step into my home and see my sister smiling back at me.

"You're back," she points out.

"You're still awake," I reply, Naruto closes the door behind him.

"Aren't you tired?" He questions my sister.

"No not yet, besides I was hoping to spend a little bit more time with my baby brother."

"Oh," my muse smiles at her, and then looks around the apartment stepping in front of me. "Where is Kankuro?"

"Night clubbing, he went a little bit after you guys left. I doubt he'll be coming home until morning." She says politely.

Naruto smiles brightly, "Oh all right."

"Gaara can I talk to you? Privately."

Naruto glances over at me, and his lips twitch, attempting to give me a reassuring grin.

"I'll go get ready for bed, upstairs," My blonde says softly and takes his leave, but not before glancing at Temari. He doesn't seem suspicious of her, I'm sure he's happy to encourage a relationship between my sister and me.

I sit down on the couch and Temari takes a seat next to me.

"I know you might not…well you might not know how to react to the news I'm about to give you." I wait for my sister to go on. "Dad's dying."

"I know." I say emotionlessly.

"What?"

"Kankuro told me."

"Oh…"

"Is that all?"

Temari frowns at me. "Gaara—"

"I'm tired…you should get some sleep as well." It was a lie, but I didn't want to talk to my sister about the subject. She'll try to be understanding and force me to express my feelings, it's something I'm not comfortable with. Her kindness can sometimes be forced, as if she's making up for her past mistakes. Sometimes I feel as though I'm her burden and that I weigh on her. I don't want to upset her by saying I could care less about my father. No matter how cruel he was to me, he loved my sister, and my brother…and they respect him.

"I...yeah…goodnight," she mutters out her brown eyes hiding her emotion while searching for any sign of sadness within me. I turn away from her and head up the stairs to my bedroom.

I catch Naruto pulling a nightshirt over his head. Once his blonde head pops through he turns to look at me.

"What did she want to talk about?" he questions.

"She just wanted to tell me about my father...she didn't know Kankuro already told me."

"Oh, well did you talk to her about him?"

"No…there's nothing to say."

"She's just trying to bond with you, get to know you. She's really making an effort to be a good sister to you. I wish you'd try being a better brother."

"It's a little late…"

"But it always seemed like you and Temari got along ok. Why do you push her away?"

"Because I question her motives."

Naruto shakes his head at me, and sits on our bed. "You need to start trusting someone other then me," he mutters out.

I glare at my muse a little, a tinge of annoyance spikes in my heart. "Are you judging me?"

Naruto is taken aback by this question. "No I'm just trying to help. Aren't you the one who told me not to hold on to the past? You're holding on to the past that you had with Temari and now you distrust her. She's try—"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I hiss out.

Naruto narrows his blue eyes at me. "You can't hide from your feeling forever Gaara. It's ok to feel…it's ok to feel something other then hate, and betrayal."

"Is that the only emotions I can feel?" I question him in a sardonic tone.

"I didn't say that!" Naruto snaps at me.

"You implied it. How do you think I feel about you? Do I distrust you? Why do you think I keep you around?"

"Don't go taking your anger out on me!" Naruto raises to his feet. "You know damn well what the fuck I meant! I know you can feel other crap, but you always hide from it! You're always afraid to let people in! Even I had to battle my way through ice before you finally showed yourself to me!"

"At least I'm not dependent on human attention like you. You fear being alone, so maybe you shouldn't judge me before analyzing yourself. I may be worried about betrayal, but you worry about abandonment.'

Naruto's blue orbs start to shine with tears, however he doesn't let them roll down his cheek. " If I where so afraid of abandonment, then why did I take you back! You didn't come looking for me like you said you would you bastard! I fucking waited for you, I stuck by your side through all the shit, and now you have the god damn fucking nerves to talk down to me like this!?"

"I don't' know why you couldn't just drop the subject." I say calmly.

"Well I'm sorry for trying to help you! I just thought Temari shouldn't be the only one putting an effort into starting a family relationship!"

"She doesn't even trust you. She thinks you're only with me for the money. Do you question her motives now? Now that you don't have her approval, now that she's judged you without even knowing you. Or are you going to cling to her and annoy her until she changes her mind, and accepts you, because heaven forbid if someone doesn't like you Naruto."

"Well heaven forbid I you don't push every fucking person that loves you away! You're not human...you're just...you're just a self-absorbed bastard. You go around philosophizing about life and people, you don't even see your own flaws. Stop blaming everyone else, not everyone on this earth is out to get you!"

Naruto takes in a shaky breath, and walks past me.

"Where are you going?" I don't catch the tone of bitterness in my voice until it's to late.

"I'm leaving!" he snaps out and opens our closet, he pulls out some jeans and a jacket which he quickly tugs on. I can't bring myself to speak I only watch as Naruto slams the door behind him. My fist shakes and I notice that my fingernails are digging into my palm.

How could I have lost control so easily?

**Naruto's POV**

I rest my head against the window of the gray hound bus. I can't bring myself to sleep, I just watch the streetlights. I don't' know where else to go…I don't want to go to Iruka, besides Sasuke is a little closer. I take out my cell phone and dial his number.

The phone rings, and rings, and rings. I sigh, no surprise they wouldn't pick up.

"Hello?"

The dull greeting surprises me.

"Itachi?" I question.

"Yes, who's this? Naruto?"

"Yeah is Sasuke there?"

"Hold on." I hear Itachi walking, he must be on a portable phone. The sound of a door squeaking open barley reaches my ear.

"Sasuke wake up," Itachi says from the other end. I hear a groan. "Phone for you."

"Hello?" Sasuke's groggy voice asks with slight irritation.

"Hey Sasuke it's me. Sorry to call so late," I smile a little.

"This better be important Naruto."

"Can I stay at your place?"

"What? Why?" Sasuke seems awake now.

"Shino and Kiba are away for the holidays, and me and Gaara… had a fight…" I say softly with a little chuckle at the end, to stop the tears.

"A fight? Over what?"

"I...I don't even know exactly…It just got really personal, and I don't want to stay there for the night," I say softly and look out of the window. The bus hits a bump in the road, which causes me to gently hit my head against the windowpane.

"You got into a fight with your boyfriend…at this time of the year?'

"Don't give me that tone Sasuke, please..." I rub away a stray tear.

"Where are you?" He questions softly.

"On a bus…pick me up at the bus stop?"

"Yeah, call me when you get there." I end the phone call and continue to watch the lights passing me by. My eyes become heavy and I wonder if I'll finally be able to get a little bit of sleep.

* * *

"You can stay in the guest room, did you bring anything with you?"

"No I kinda left in a hurry," I say jokingly, trying to cheer myself up.

"You don't need to smile for my sake," Sasuke mutters out.

"Don't flatter yourself," I say chuckling, my friend smiles at me.

"I'll be in the kitchen making breakfast, if you need me," Sasuke explains and walks towards the door.

"Sasuke?"

My raven haired friend turns around and looks at me. "What?"

"Thank you," I mutter out and give him a wide grin. Or at least the biggest grin that I can scrap together.

When I'm left alone in the room I lay down on the bed. How did last night get so out of hand? I must have hit one of Gaara's buttons...he's probably sensitive with his siblings being around and the whole thing about his dad. Still that doesn't change the hurtful words he spoke to me. It wasn't necessary to let his frustration out on me. I was only trying to help. Besides what does he care if his dad is dying? He already told me he doesn't feel anything. He overreacted, I know he doesn't like his siblings but he's the one who let them come over. It's not my fault…

I wonder if he even cares that I left. I bring my knees up closer to my chest and let out a sigh. I feel like shit. I haven't felt this insecure in a long time, it's scary.

"I guess I'm just proving you right," I laugh at myself. After all I'm afraid of this situation because I'm alone...or at least I feel alone. I have Sasuke, which is good…but what am I going to do next?

A knock on my door stirs me from my thoughts and worries. Itachi walks in.

"Sasuke wanted to know if you want something for breakfast as well." He says in his monotone voice. The uncaring demeanor stings at my heart, as it reminds me of Gaara. Maybe this wasn't the best place to come and ride out the storm.

"No I'm fine, thanks." Without a word Itachi takes his leave.

Not even fifteen minutes later my door opens yet again. Sasuke comes in, and gives me a lopsided smile. "You're not going to pull one of those teenage girl crying in her bed acts, are you?"

"I'm not crying thank you very much," I say proudly.

"Well I hope you're not planing on sitting around in here all day.

"What am I suppose to do, watch TV, talk to you? No offense but I really don't feel up to talking about the problem right now."

"Then don't, just get up and help me with the house. I have cleaning, laundry, dusting, and file organizing to do."

"File organizing?"

"Itachi likes his office organized and neat, to bad he tends to misplace some of his files, or not put them back after a night of studying them."

"Do you do all this even when you're studying to become a teacher?"

"Itachi won't have a dirty house," Sasuke says plainly.

"You sound like a maid."

"Are you going to help me or not?" Sasuke hisses out. I chuckle.

"Sure why not."

I follow Sasuke out of my room and into the laundry room, the washing machine is already working on one load. He gets out the duster and hands it to me.

"Dust the fans, and TV." He explains and then takes out a cloth and a yellow can. "After that you can polish the wood. Oh, dust the fake plants to while you're at it."

"Do you do this every day?"

"I dust once a week, I vacuum every other day, I do laundry twice a week, not including the dry cleaning, which I drop off once a week. I iron every single one of Itachi's damn button up shirts by hand, and of course I cook breakfast lunch and dinner daily." There was a hint of annoyance in Sasuke's tone.

"Wow...what does Itachi do?" There didn't seem anything left for him to do.

"Take out the trash cut the grass, and wash our cars."

"How'd you get stuck doing the majority of the crap around here?"

"Itachi works a lot, and he doesn't have regular hours. I have more free time. In all honesty I don't mind doing it, I don't want to live in a dirty stinking home either."

"You are one busy little house wife."

"Just because you got in a fight with Gaara doesn't excuse you from an ass kicking; now go dust already!"


	15. Apart

Chapter 15: Apart

**Gaara's POV**

I stop my staring at the ceiling and finally get out of bed. I didn't sleep at all last night, and I've never felt so agitated in the morning before. I probably could have used an hour or two of sleep. I step out of my room and walk down the stairs. Temari comes out of the bathroom fully dressed.

"Good morning," she says shyly.

"Has Kankuro come back yet?" I question her.

"No, but he should show up around nine at the latest." Temari announces confident about our brother's behavior. Suddenly I feel empty and out of place, painfully aware that my siblings are basically strangers to me.

"Did you and Naruto have a fight?" My sister's sudden question caught me of guard. I avert my eyes and look down at the floor for amount. Then I make my way towards the kitchen, avoiding answering the question. Temari is quiet for a moment, respecting my privacy.

"Would you like something to eat?" I question my sister softly, wonder why I am even bothering to talk to her. It seems I've gotten so use to conversing with Naruto, that it feels almost odd not to open my mouth.

"No I'm fine, I hope you don't mind, I helped myself to a little something."

"No, it's fine," I say in a monotone voice, and get out a can of coffee. Temari comes to lean over the kitchen counter behind the sink, just next to the spout.

"What's Naruto like?" she question, and I feel a little agitated. I'm not stupid, I know she's trying to get me to open up, and tell her about our fight.

"Why do you care?" I say coldly.

"Don't you worry?"

"You've already expressed your concern about Naruto. It doesn't matter." I don't want to think about the blond right now, if I think about him, then I'll think about what he said to me. The words he spoke hurt me…and worst of all I don't fully understand why I became so defensive. I believe maybe I am just a little sensitive when it comes to my family life. I don't need Naruto telling me how to handle every little problem I have, I can handle it myself. I don't need constant guidance, I'm not that out of touch with my emotions that I don't know what I'm feeling… I know I hold anger towards my siblings...and my father. It's an anger that won't be easily resolves, and even with my siblings here, it doesn't feel like I'm solving the problem. The thing is I don't know if I really want to, I'm use to just letting things go...while Naruto tends to dwell. I don't want to go back in time and face all my difficulty and talk them out with my family, I just want to let them go, and think about the now. That's not solving my discomfort, but it would be even more uncomfortable to make myself vulnerable. I simply don't trust my family...that doesn't mean that I distrust everyone else. I've taken the chance before...Naruto knows I've taken the chance of opening up. I was lucky...that doesn't mean I'll be lucky again, considering my family's past actions.

"You know in a relationship, it's never good to just walk out. You should always stick around and talk you're problems out. You have to be willing to be around for the good and the bad."

I get the feeling that Temari believes I'm completely oblivious when it comes to relationships, and of course she wants to bring Naruto's character into question.

"Sometimes it's better to separate yourself for a while, so you can think, and you wont' say anything you'll later regret." I find myself defending Naruto, even though I still feel a little bitter.

"Relationships are all about accepting your partner, and knowing that they won't change."

"Do you accept me?" I question my sister. The question was unexpected.

"Of course" she says.

"Where were you when our uncle died?" I question her, looking into her dark eyes. Her eyebrows frown.

"I was young...of course I'd be a little pissed. I mean first mom, and then him. Death is a hard thing to deal with."

"It's easier to deal with once you have someone to blame," I mutter out.

"Gaara—" Temari snapped at me, but then she seems apologetic. "I don't know why you always make this difficult."

"If you want to question Naruto, then first question yourself." I tell her, and start brewing my cup of coffee.

"I'm only looking out for you Gaara."

"Why now?"

"Don't be like that! You know damn well I treated you better then dad and Kankuro. I always tried to include you, take a little pressure off you."

"Yes you did," I admit. "But now when I'm doing fine for myself, it's like you're trying to find some sort of flaw in my life, as if I can't do anything completely right." I explain calmly.

"I didn't mean for it to come off that way." Temari says plainly.

"It doesn't matter," I say, and the coffee machine beeps. I reach for the cup, and then transfer the coffee into my mug. "Let's not question anyone's intentions anymore." I was sick of it. The distrust, and discomfort. I look around hoping to see a familiar smiling face, but then I remember I had chased him away last night.

**Naruto's POV**

I never even knew you should dust fake plants, Sasuke's plants are the greenest I've ever seen. I run my finger over the plastic leaves and notice just a hint of dust. It's not that bad, but since Sasuke told me to dust them I will. I quickly run the swifer duster over the artificial plant, and move on to the next one. Sasuke is in the laundry room putting clothes in the dryer, so it's not like he can inspect my work. Besides there wasn't a lot of dust to begin with.

I zip through all the fake plants in the living room, and then walk to Itachi's office. Sasuke said there's a fake tree in there that also needed dusting. I find Itachi in his office bent over some papers.

"Oh sorry I thought you left for work already."

"I'm about to, " Itachi mumbles in a low tone, half-ignoring me, and he shuffles through papers. I decide not to bother him and just dust the tree next to the desk holding his computer. Itachi gathers his files, and pulls out a suitcase from beside his desk. He puts the papers away and gets up to leave. He gives me a quick glance, and then briskly walks towards the living room. I shrug and finish up my dusting. I throw the fluffy dusting pad away in Itachi's wastebasket, and happily walk outside the room, wondering if Sasuke needs anymore help.

"Naruto," I cold voice calls to me. My eyebrows come together and I go into the living room to see Itachi.

"You missed a spot, I marked all the places you should re-dust with yellow sticky notes. Where is Sasuke?"

I look at the twenty sticky notes adorning the three living room plants. I glare at him, "In the laundry room," I huff out.

It's at that time just when Itachi was about to move that Sasuke pops out from the hallway. "Going to work?" he questions and walks up to his brother, he nods plainly.

"See you tonight,' Sasuke says, and for a moment the two brothers look deeply into each others eyes, and then nod at the same time. Itachi then turns and takes his leave.

"What was that?" I ask.

"What was what?" Sasuke questions.

"That creepy nodding at the same time thingy!"

"It's what we do instead of kissing. I mean you where standing right there," Sasuke says with a sneer on his face.

"Heaven forbid you and Itachi express any sort of affection in front of anyone."

"Shut up and re-dust." With that Sasuke goes back to busying himself with the laundry.

I let out a sigh and go to re-dust the spots while angrily ripping off the yellow sticky notes Itachi left behind. As I dust I can't help but let my mind wander. Questions pop into my mind, such as, what Gaara might be doing. A bad feeling settles in my gut, and I feel slight pity. Gaara's probably having a hard time dealing with his siblings all alone. I stop my sympathetic thoughts and shake my head violently. It would serve him right to be all alone, confronted by the past he tries not to 'dwell' on.

"Naruto," I jump.

"Yeah?" I turn around to look at Sasuke who has a basket of clothes in his hands.

"Take a break, and watch some TV with me," he says emotionlessly, and walks over to the living room with the clothes. I gladly through my duster aside and join Sasuke in the living room.

Sasuke turns the TV on a News channel, and starts to fold a shirt. "So may I ask what exactly it is you and Gaara fought about?"

I look at Sasuke, remembering how earlier this morning I told him I don't want to talk about it. I know he's only trying to help, and maybe it'll be good to tell him.

"About his relationship with his family," I mutter out, looking at the TV screen but not listening to it.

"What brought this up?" Sasuke seemed surprised.

"His siblings are staying with us for the holiday. You know his sister is really making an effort, but Gaara always seems so suspicious. I was telling him that. Then it got a lot more personal. I guess we both pointed out our flaws when it comes to people and trust. Still it hurt…" I explain.

"Do you know everything there is to know about Gaara's family?"

"I'm pretty sure, he's told me everything. He...well there was an accident when he was little and his uncle died. Mind you that same uncle was trying to kill him." I pause as I recall Gaara's past. "He told me that his family blamed him not only for the uncles death but his mothers as well."

"So lets see," Sasuke pauses in his folding. "He never had a nurturing mother, his uncle—a member of his family—wanted to kill him. Then his father shunned him. It looks like he never had anyone to trust."

"Bu his sister Temari was so nice to him."

"Maybe now that she's older but who knows if she was like that when all those deaths occurred."

"But doesn't it count that she's trying so hard?" I'm starting to get upset.

"Naruto, not everyone has the same faith in people as you do. Gaara doesn't want to get hurt again. Who knows how many times he's reached out to people only to be pushed away. You should know he's damaged, it took you forever just to become his friend. Just because he's let you in, doesn't mean he's ready to let everyone else in. You should feel special."

I let Sasuke's words sink in. "Do you think…there are some things about his childhood he still hasn't told me?" I question, while sadness comes over me.

"I don't know Naruto. You know… Itachi and I didn't have a great childhood." Sasuke starts folding again.

"Really, I always though...He's so successful."

Sasuke smirks and nods. "That's because our parents pushed him to be that way. They isolated him, and wanted him to be perfect, always. While they were busy with him I was ignored, completely neglected. If I got hurt it was Itachi who took notice. If I wanted to ask a question it was Itachi who answered it. For the longest time…I was the only thing Itachi had. I suppose that explains our relationship now. In a way it's our parent own fault." Sasuke laughs. "If they where to see us now…they must be rolling over in their graves. The point is, Itachi doesn't tell me all the things father had done to him. I don't mention it either, but I'm always there to listen. In the end it's Itachi who comes to me and tells me what he wants me to know...or what he can't keep secret anymore. I never confront him about it, I never judge him. There is reason for what people think, do and say. All you have to do is wait and listen."

**Gaara's POV**

" I knew he'd fuck that up too." Kankuro laughs. I dry off my hair. From the bathroom I can clearly hear my two guests.

"It's not Gaara's fault. It's probably better that way. Gaara doesn't need the extra stress." I let out a sigh and roll my eyes. Why is it that no one seems to believe I can form decent relationships? Naruto's' helped me to understand human bonding…and trust. I throw the towel around my neck, and reach for my tooth brush. I haven't heard a word from the blond all day. Even know I trust him...I feel something towards him. I know he didn't mean anything by the words he said. In all honesty I did provoke him. However it annoys me when he puts his nose in my family business. I've told him about my past. I think I know my siblings better then he does. I frown, and as I see the angry face I hold in the mirror I let my face relax. He only wants to make the best out of everything, and everyone. It's his nature, and he only wanted me to be a little cheerful about my situation right now. I always look at the darker side of things, while he looks at the bright. We balance each other out, and I shouldn't have snapped at him.

However that doesn't mean he was right. My sister is suspicious of him and I'll be suspicious of her. After all I know them both very well, while they know next to nothing about each other. I know I should give my siblings a chance…and I small part of me is willing. That's why I let them come here for the holidays...that and I do owe Temari for her help. However it feels so awkward and I'm lost. I just can't shake the feeling that there is something else other then compassion fueling my siblings. Maybe I am wrong, maybe Temari wants to mend our family now that our father is dying. However I'm sure Kankuro's motive is far from noble.

I change into my nightclothes, though I don't believe I'll be sleeping. I exit the bathroom and my siblings look at me. I ignore their stare and walk up to my bedroom. I close the door behind me and don't bother to turn on the lights. I've had enough of my siblings for today and even though it's only nine thirty and I know I won't be sleeping I'm going to bed. I slip under the covers and close my eyes. It seems almost funny. I reach over to the empty side of the bed and realize how much Naruto's presents in my bed comforts me. The night doesn't seem as long when he's there next to me snoring lightly.

A strange sound fills my room, and I sit up and automatically look at the door. It stops, and I relax, but still look around the dark room. Then a blue light shines from the night stand and the sound rings again. I notice it's my cell phone, which is on vibrate. I look at the number and I don't recognize it, with slight annoyance I answer the call.

"What?" I mutter out.

"Gaara?" It's Naruto's voice and suddenly I'm not so aggravated by the late call.

"Naruto where are you?" I ask emotionlessly, but inside I feel slightly worried.

"At Sasuke's house." He says plainly, and then there is silence.

"I'm sorry," We both say at the same time. This makes my muse laugh on the other end. The sound pleases me.

"I wasn't sure if you where still mad at me…I was kinda worried about calling." Naruto explains.

"It's fine," I say.

"I know it's not really any of my business what you do about your siblings. After all you had a rough past with them. I only wanted you to be happy, and give your sister a chance," Naruto says softly.

"Let's just not talk about it," I say plainly.

Naruto makes a slight noise of hesitation on the other end. "Ok," he says plainly. I know he probable wants to talk about this, but right now the last thing I want to do is think about my siblings.

"We can talk about it tomorrow…maybe," I add.

"That's fine, what ever makes you comfortable," My blond says sweetly. "Can I come back…tonight?"

"Of course," I say and get out of bed. "Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, Sasuke offered to drive me."

"All right...I'll see you when you get here."

"Ok, I love you."

"Bye," I say avoiding the words he's said to me. I know I don't' repeat the statement enough to him…but I hope he knows that I feel the same way.

"Bye," Naruto says happily. I get up and walk back down stairs.

"I though you went to bed," Temari says coming out of the bathroom.

"I was planing on it," I say plainly not really answering her questions. Kankuro is on the couch watching TV. "You two can still watch what you want," I reassure my brother who's looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I go into the kitchen, where the half-read newspaper still lies. I begin to read to pass the time.

"Gaara?" Temari walks up to me not but a few minute later.

"Yes?"

"Are you all right, are you not sleeping again tonight?"

"I will, just not yet."

"You shouldn't let Naruto stay on your mind and keep you up." I don't respond to her. "In a real relationship you would talk your problems out and not just run from them."

"You've already preached that to me this morning, besides we never talked about our problems." I glare up at my sister, she frowns at me.

"You wanna talk?" She questions.

"Not really…" I say bluntly.

"I thought you where ready to open up to us…I wasn't always the perfect sister, but haven't I been trying for the past years?"

"You always seemed burdened by me. Like you took care of me and where kind to me only because everyone else hated me."

"No, I grew up, Gaara. I realized it was stupid to blame my little brother for our mother's death…and that accident. Mom was sick…that's not your fault.

"Accident?" I sneer at my sister. "I killed him, I hit him on purpose! I—" I stop myself from losing control.

"Gaara—"

"Never mind." I cut her off, I feel something bubbling inside of me, something I don't want to face. I go back to reading the paper. Temari stands by me for a while, but as I continue to ignore her she decided to leave me be.

I finish the paper and look up to find Kankuro still watching TV. Temari has fallen asleep on the make shift bed we had made up for her. Kankuro kindly has the TV on a lower volume so he won't disturb her. I look at the stove clock, and see an hour as past. I walk towards the door and exit the apartment. I lean over the railing and look at the street, and all the cars passing by. I hear a car door slam shut and I look down. A familiar blond waves at me from the parking lot, and his black haired friend also exits the car.

The two come up stairs and Naruto walks up to me.

"You where waiting, how sweet," he teases me. "Why are you already in your pajamas?" he adds abruptly.

"I was planing on trying to get some sleep." Naruto smiles and Sasuke comes up to me.

"Just making sure he got home all right. You should keep a leash on him so he doesn't go off annoying other people." The boy says jokingly, and my muse sticks his tongue out at him.

"Thank you," I say politely.

"Well I'll leave you two now," Sasuke waves and Naruto returns the gesture. Naruto sees his friend off, as he looks over the railing. Once the car pulls out he turns to me again, that comforting smile on his face. He takes my hand.

"Let's go to sleep. Like you said…we'll talk about it in the morn—"

I cut off his words with a kiss. It doesn't take long for him to wrap his arms around me. I put my hands on his hips and pull him close to me. He's the one person I don't ever want to push away. I know I'm cold, and I enjoy my privacy, but I'm sure Naruto understands. Naruto sucks on my bottom lip and his tongue plays with my piercing. Then he pulls away and smiles at me brightly, between his teeth is the round piercing.

I touch my lip just to make sure it's not some trick before taking it from the blond, who laughs, and I try to put it back in.

"I missed you." Naruto says, and I put my piercing back in.

I look at his bright blue eyes. I trust him because I believe those eyes never lie. "You won't be alone as long as I'm still alive." I explain emotionlessly, and avert my eyes from his. I'm not one to be romantic, however I do want Naruto to feel secure after what I said to him last night.

I open the door, and Naruto follows me in. Kankuro spots us, but says nothing. We walk up to our room, and enter our bed though I do not feel like sleeping, and neither does my nymph.

* * *

I open my eyes slowly, and don't move. I don't know if Naruto is awake yet. His naked skin touches mine, half of his body stretching over my own. A snore escapes him, and I run my hand through his blond spikes. Naruto groans and lifts his head up.

"What time is it?" he asks with a yawn.

I look over at the clock, " Eight."

Naruto groans yet again and rolls off me, taking most of the blanket with him. I get up and look for my pajamas among the clothes tossed on the floor. Once I've located them and pulled them on I exit the room quietly. I can see Kankuro on the couch with a blanket pulled over his face. I know he must have heard Naruto, he's not the quiet type. Temari's bed is empty. I walk down the few steps and see her in the kitchen. She doesn't notice me until I walk to the coffee machine. She jumps a little, and looks at me. Her face becomes slightly red. It's not hard to figure out why she's blushing, and I could care less if my siblings heard Naruto and me last night, this is my home and I can do what I want in it.

"So…did you and Naruto make up?" She questions.

"Twice," I say, mainly in hopes that it would disgust my sister and she would leave me alone.

"Eh…that's nice," she says warily and takes her breakfast and leaves the kitchen. My plan worked.


	16. Death to the holidays

Chapter 16:Death to the Holidays

**Naruto's POV**

I look at the empty bed, just lying on my side. A sorrowful expression on my face. Gaara has soft opera music playing low, not wanting to wake me up. He hasn't noticed that I'm already awake, and I haven't moved. I know he needs a little privacy. I close my eyes thinking about yesterday…it was the day after me and Gaara 'made up'….

_A soft knock at the door, I grumbled and open my eyes, looking up at Gaara. Of course he was wide-awake, but I was just waking up, the knocking got louder._

"_Gaara?" Temari's voice was soft, shaky, but loud. I remove my head from Gaara's chest to let him get up and answer the door. I get up on one elbow, and rest my head in my hand, watching him. I just wanted him to answer the door and come back to bed, the clock on the night stand told me it was only four in the morning. I let out a yawn as Gaara opened our bedroom door._

"_Yes?" He asked dully._

"_We got a call from the hospital… Kankuro and I will have to leave early," the sandy blonde whispered out. My eyebrows frowning looking at the pained expression on Temari's face._

"_He's..dead.." She whispered before abruptly collapsing against her little brother. She held on to him, tightly hugging him. " So sorry Gaara...I hoped maybe you could have talked to him before—"_

"_I wouldn't have wanted to," Gaara cut her off._

_She released her brother, her eyes looking at him with great pity. "Gaara.."_

"_I understand you departure…I'll walk you to your car." He mutter out and walked out closing the door behind him, leaving me alone in the bed for about a half hour until he came back._

He hadn't said a word ever since. I've tried to get him to talk about his father..his feelings. It's no surprise that he won't share his thoughts…it's a sensitive subject. The holidays didn't seem to be going well for my little red head. I wanted him to cheer up tomorrow would be Christmas.

I slowly slide out of bed, quietly making my way to Gaara's art studio, where the music was coming from. I walk towards the archway, seeing Gaara in front of a painting, lifting his brush to make another stroke before going for a different color. I can't make out the subject of the painting, but I really don't care. I walk towards Gaara, letting my arms wrap around his chest, as I rest my head on his shoulder. He ignores me. For the moment he's in a trance caught up in his work. I let my eyes scan over the picture as he continues to add color. It was about half way done; the underneath sketch still visible in some parts. The picture depicted four people. Two of which where on the floor bleeding, eyes staring at the viewer…dead. In the middle was a young boy his back turned, towering above these three figures was a man with black eyes, the top of his skull cut off like a Frankinstein experiment gone wrong.

I kiss Gaara on his neck, he ignores me, and I'm not surprised. "What are you feeling?" I questioned him softly, knowing that this painting had something to do with his father's death. I don't like this heavy atmosphere, am almost angry with Gaara's dad for dying before Christmas. I just stay still not bushing Gaara into responding. Everything seemed to fine..our argument seemed trivial…then this happens. I know that he wants his space, so he can think, but damn it I'm worried about his mental health! He's been so stress out, having to deal with his family coming to visit…I don't think they ever got the chance to really talk about their childhood and heal some wounds. I think Gaara needs to talk about everything with his siblings, but he refuses to. Either because he's difficult…or because he wants to protect himself. I haven't said anything, after all it's this concept of accepting his siblings that start our fight earlier this week.

I kept holding on to my boyfriend wanting him to say something…anything. I let out a sigh, "You know...after Iruka told me about my parents...I was angry. First I thought I was angry with them…but I was really angry with the villagers. I was angry with them for the way they treated me, the way they treated my parents. Class…wealth, none of that should have mattered, but my dad just lost his social standing…I visited their graves only once." I muttered out.

"Iruka had come with me, he wanted to show me. To give my respect, I cried when I saw 'Uzamaki' carved into those tombstones. You won't get any answers from your dad...not now. I couldn't ask my parents anything…it killed me. I couldn't ask if they had loved me…I couldn't ask why they stayed together even with all that disapproval swirling around them. I'll never get those answers, maybe that's why I looked for acceptance from others...I wanted to feel loved. I didn't want to believe that everyone hated me. I didn't deserve the treatment that I was given in my hometown. Gaara, you didn't deserve any of what your father did to you. You where only a child. I know you can't ask your father if he's forgiven you, I know you must think he still hates you and that he doesn't love you. But, that doesn't matter, because there are plenty of other people that love you. Like me, so please talk to me."

Gaara was quiet, he stopped painting, and slowly set the paintbrush down. "I hate him." He muttered out, and I only hugged him tighter, bringing his head to my chest.

"I hate that fucking bastard!" He growls.

"I know," I say softly.

"Then why am I letting him get to me like this. I didn't care…I didn't feel a goddamn thing when Kankuro told me he was dying. Now, I'm so angry…I don't' know why."

"Because you never got a chance to get any answers." I tell him.

"I don't care about answers!" he shouts, and pulls away from me "Why would I care?"

"Because he was your father...Gaara none of your family ever showed you love. Not your mom, not your uncle, and not your dad. It's ok if that bothers you. It would bother most people, and now you'll never know if he ever really cared. If he really did always hate you, or if maybe he was just being selfish when he neglected you."

"I don't need his love! I don't need his approval!" Gaara snaps at me, before letting his face relax. He turned back at the picture. "Temari asked me to come to the funeral."

"You don't want to go." I state, not surprised when the red head nods.

"She said…there was something in his will for me." This however did surprise me. "That's why I'm so fucking angry at him. Why couldn't he just hate me to the end? Why did he have to leave me something? Why would he even think of me while he was on his death bed?"

"Because you're still his son."

"He couldn't stand looking at me!"

"I don't know Gaara, but letting yourself get all upset trying to figure this out isn't gonna get you an answer." Gaara glared at me. "But going to the funeral will."

"Why should I go, he never wanted me around him while he was alive." Gaara grumbled.

"Can we talk about this after the holidays?" I question him with a sympathetic smile. "I want you and me to have fun, tonight is Christmas Eve after all. Cheer up, don't let these sudden event ruin our holiday, ok?"

"I won't let him bring me down during the holidays," Gaara sighed out with slight bitterness. Either way I smiled at him.

"Good," I say to him softly, while coming up in front of him before making myself comfortable on his lap, my hands lazily hanging over his shoulders. I lean in to whisper in his ear, "Cause I haven't exactly been I good boy all year."

Gaara places his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. "I wasn't expecting you to be."

* * *

"Thanks for inviting us Sakura!" I say cheerfully as I enter the girl's apartment.

"Sorry it was last minute, but you know, Sai was getting on my nerves and I needed some company. Besides aren't the holidays about spending time with friends and loved ones?" I nodded at my pink haired friend as she ushered Gaara and me into the living room. Sai was sitting on the couch, putting down his sketchbook to look at me.

"Hey, little penis," He greets me.

"I have a name Sai1" I huff.

"But it's such a cute nickname don't you think?" he says emotionlessly.

"Leave him alone Sai, it's not his fault he's not blessed in that area." Sakura teases. I take a seat next to Gaara on the red plush chair, making the redhead scoot over so there would actually be room for me.

"Why don't you sit on the couch?" He grumbled, annoyed by my squeezing in.

"What? And sit near that guy!" I say dramatically, pointing at Sai.

Sai ignores me, and turns his attention to Gaara. "How is your art going? Declining in your profits any?"

Gaara didn't answer him, only studying him with his eyes. "Not as badly as I would have assumed after the world found out about Naruto." He says proudly, glaring at the boy.

"Shame, and here I thought it would take away from your pretty boy image your fangirls like so much. It's not like they actually admire your art." He says coolly. Gaara doesn't show any sign of anger.

"I heard your art display in Moscow was a great disappointment," he retorts calmly. I look at Sakura and both of us rolled our eyes.

"They are a poor country deprived of real art." Sai defends.

"I suppose your Asian style of art, just doesn't compare to the European masters."

"There where plenty of art works out of the Orient that where immensely beautiful."

"Yes, but your weak attempt of copying them is sad. Not to mention that they were more famous for their statues. You don't have any sculpting skill do you?'

"Neither do you." The argument between the two was emotionless, yet just as disturbing as a real fight. I didn't want Gaara and Sai to start anything, I just wanted a pleasant Christmas eve with my friend Sakura.

"Ok, ok, let's get back to the topic of my penis!" I shouted, sacrificing myself to stop the bickering.

"Oh yes, after all I'm sure it is just as small as those drawn in Renaissance times."

I didn't really know if that was an insult or not, but I glared at Sai anyway.

"Oh man, can you talk about anything else then art and penises, Sai!"

"I could, but those are two of my favorite subjects." The raven-haired boy said coolly.

"What about my boobs?" Sakura pouted.

"Those are nice, and equally as small as Naruto's' penis." This time both Sakura and I glared at the boy.

"Why did I have to come here again?" Gaara questioned me, greatly annoyed.

"Because you're my boyfriend," I snapped

**Gaaa's POV**

"Bye Sakura, and Sai, Merry Christmas!" My blonde called back waving enthusiastically at his friend. The last minute visit did distract me from my thoughts for a while. However slowly my father was creeping back into my brain. It bothers me that his death has upset me. I am not upset in the senesce of sad, but rather angry. I never liked my father, understood him or care to understand him. However I can't help but fear the reading of his will. I do not want to hear tender words read to me that my father only wrote down as he was dying. He would only feel guilty about the things he's done to me because he wanted to cleanse his soul before he would pass. A last confession, like one you would tell a priest, who would then absolve you of all your sin.

A soft hand brought me out of my thoughts. Naruto looked at me with a playful glint in his eye. "You were so polite to Sai." He states sarcastically.

"I had to bring down his ego…after all he insulted you." I say plainly.

"Gaara?" I shift my eyes to look at him, keeping my head straight. "Do you think I'm small?"

"Compared to me, yes."

"Jerk.!" Naruto yelled and punched me. I looked at him with slight confusion.

"I'm a head taller then you," I point out plainly.

Naruto looks at me with his bright blue eyes before squeezing them shut and whining, "That's not what I meant!!!"

"Oh that.." I pause, and Naruto waits to my answer. "Same answer as before." I say coldly.

Again Naruto hit me screeching, "Jerk!!!"

"I haven't heard you sing for a while," I say absentmindedly.

This makes my muse smile. "I know I don't sing as much as I did when we where in high school." He puts the hand that's not holding onto me, into his jeans pockets.

"Why not?" I question in a monotone voice.

My muse shrugs, "No real reason, guess I haven't been listening to music as much. Why you miss it?" He teased. I nod, and my nymph grins.

"I, I came here by day,

But I left here in darkness

and found you, found you on the way.

Now, it is silver and silent.

It is silver and cold.

You in somber resplendence,

I hold.."

My muse starts to sing softly for me. I kept walking holding his hand as he continues to sing in a low whisper.

"Your sins into me,

oh, my beautiful one.

Your sins into me.

As a rapturous voice escapes

I will tremble a prayer

and I'll beg for forgiveness.

Your sins into me,

Your sins into me

oh, my beautiful one."

"Why choose that song?" I question softly interrupting my nymph.

"When I hear that song sometimes I think about us..." I look at my muse, his rather mushy statement making me slightly uncomfortable. He looks at me with a grin. "And the awesome mind blowing sex we have." He laughs.

"I see no concoction," I mumble under my breath. Naruto chuckles and then softly continues to sing his song. I listen only to him, not paying any attention to the thought running threw my mind. I let him soothe me with his voice, just like he use to do when we were younger.


	17. Focusing on him

A/N: for those who where wondering about the song last chapter it is, "Silver and Cold'" by AFI

Warning: Lemon

Chapter 17: Focusing on him

**Naruto's POV**

I look up into Gaara's eyes, begging me for a distraction. I know he doesn't want to stay up all night thinking about his father. I let my fingertips trail down his cheek, letting out a sympathetic sigh. I scoot closer to him in our bed. We are both lying on our sides facing one another. I grab his arm and pull him ontop of me. Gaara follows with slight confusion. I wrap my arms around him, as he supports himself on all fours above me.

"Stop thinking about it." I whisper to him, before leaning in for a kiss, but Gaara shifts off me. "Gaara." I pout. He doesn't respond and only turns his back towards me. I crawl over to him, resting my upper body on his shoulder and side, while taking a peek at his face. Of course his eyes are wide open, staring at the wall. I run my hand through his hair.

"I thought you said you wouldn't let this bring you down?" I huff. I'm not angry with him. Why couldn't his old man wait to keel over until after New Years eve? No, he had to kick the bucket the day before Christmas Eve, and yet again ruin his son's mood.

"Don't make me get out the emergency cheer up Gaara box," I whine letting my arms fall limp over Gaara's body, and onto the mattress.

My red head turns slightly towards me, silently questioning the existence of such a box.

"Damn straight I have on, it's where you would least expect it."

"You mean the box behind the ramen in the cabinet with all those kinky things in it?" Gaara mutters out, turning his head away in slight boredom.

"Fuck, how'd you fine it? Why did you even look in it?"

"I keep my coffee on the shelve above it. You had already eat most of the ramen so it was basically exposed, and seeing how it had my name on it, I looked to see what it was."

"Oh…" I look at my lover. "Gaara it's Christmas, cheer up." I say softly.

"I just…" he doesn't finish, and I know he's not planing on continuing the sentence.

"I know you're wonder why this is affecting you so much, but it's normal. Love or hate, he was part of your life, and he's gone now. Besides I know you must be worried about the whole will thing."

"I just don't' understand him."

"And you never will, so don't sit there trying to figure it out." I tell him. There is silence, and then a thought pops into my head. "Hey, why don't you call Temari tomorrow, the holiday will be a good excuse, and then maybe you can asked about your dad."

"No, I'll just wait until the funereal. Go to sleep Naruto." He says softly and rolls on his back. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest. I don't say another word, and close my eyes listening to Gaara's heart beat slowly.

* * *

"Mmm..." I mutter and cuddle into the pillow before reaching over in favor of cuddling Gaara. However I find our bed empty. I let out a yawn, and rub my eyes, before sitting up and search the room for my red head. "He better not be some where in the corner being emo," I say trying to lighten my own mood. I turn to the clock on the nightstand and see a small stuff fox, holding a note in it's mouth. I smile softly and reach for the stuffed animal. I take the note out of its mouth:

'Come outside.'

Plain and simple. Even Gaara's hand writing looks like art, I never seemed to notice before. I set the cute little fox between our pillows before getting out of bed. I run through the apartment and open he front door. I don't see anything on the balcony, so I lean over the railing.

"Oh, my fucking god! No! No! Are you serious?" I shout in disbelief probably catching more then just Gaara's attention. I run down the stairs, and fling myself at Gaara's present.

"I love you," I moan out, and rub my cheek against the metal. "He's beautiful."

"He?"

"Yup," I reply and get off my gift. I look at him carefully taking in his site. A beautiful orange mustang, with black strips on the side, and a red bow on top. I swoon. "Fuck, why'd you spend so much money on me.

"It's practical. It makes shopping easier, and I don't want you to walk to work anymore."

I open the door and sit in the driver's seat, that new car smell hitting my nose. "Oh god, you are such a sugar daddy." I say grinning as I run my hand over the smooth leather seats.

"Well my present is crap in comparison." I frown a little, but it's so hard to be sad or upset when you're in a fucking mustang! "You are not sleeping tonight, I hope you know." Gaara rolls his eyes. "Keys?"

Gaara pulls them out of his pocket.

"Gimme Gimme!" I say reach for them while hopping up and down in the seat. I put the key in the start and twist it, listening to the engine roar. "Oh yeah, I'm already horny. We will have to christen the car." I say with a smirk.

"No, the bed's just fine." Gaara tells me

"But it's so boring, we always have sex in bed," I whine.

Gaara tilts his head back, a slight glint of amusement in his eyes. "I thought that's were sex is suppose to happen."

"Yeah for old married couples maybe." I pout, and silence the car. "Beside crazy mind blowing sex is the only way I could even come close to making your Christmas as awesome as you've just made mine."

"What do they say..." Gaara pauses, "It's the thought that counts, not the size, or amount of money spent."

"Yeah, but it helps." I'm happy that Gaara seems to be in a better mood. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him tenderly, not caring who sees. However, Gaara doesn't seem as comfortable with the public display of affection, so I cut the kiss short.

"Well let me give you your present. I hope you like it." I say and guide Gaara back up to our apartment. I sit the red head down on the couch and tell him to wait. I get the box out from under the bed. I had wrapped it, while Gaara was busy with his siblings. I hope she'll give him a little spark of inspiration, and maybe keep his mind off his father for a while.

I gently put the present in Gaara's lap. "I hope you like it." I say nervously. He takes of the bow and wrapping paper, to reveal the plain white box. I bite my lower lip, but a part of me feels secure. I know he'll like her, after all it's just another from of art…right?

Gaara pulls the lid of, and there she is with her empty face, white dress blonde hair, and blue eyes. Her body stretched sixty centimeters, and Gaara gently picked her up inspected her face. I say nothing but hold my breath.

"A BJD, I saw them in Japan." He states, however I can't tell if he's happy with the present or not. He puts the box down and sets the doll on his lap, like you would a child.

"Naruko," he says emotionlessly.

"What?" I question.

"That's her name." He says simply.

"Naruko?" I blink at him.

"Yes", he says simply and gets up carrying the girl away. I jump up and watch him go up to our room

"W—" I try to call after him but he closes the door. Does he even like it? I question myself, and sink into the couch. It's times like these that I wish Gaara would be just a tad bit more emotional.

I slowly make my way up the stairs and open the door to our bedroom. My little plush fox still sits on the bed, and I venture into Gaara's studio, where he sits on the floor a box of pastels next to him along with brushes and paint. I stand on my tiptoes to see over his shoulder. Black around the blue eyes of my gift, and with a pencil thin paintbrush Gaara carefully gives her lined on her cheek just like mine.

"So you like her?" I question.

"A less complacent model," he says softly. I take a seat next to hi and watch him continue to bring the doll to life.

**Gaara's POV**

After a short photo season with Naruko, Naruto wanted to take his new car for a test drive. I realize now why so many people seem to be fascinated by those dolls. They look very life like, you can pose them anyway you like, and best of all they don't talk. You don't have to retouch your photos to get rid of any flaws, sins the skin is smooth, body perfectly proportioned.

"I hate that everything is closed on Christmas, you can't go out and do anything." Naruto sighs. The streets are practically empty.

"People want time with their family." I state simply.

"Yeah I know but still." I look through the photos I've taken, and then look at Naruto. It's been a long time since I've captured him on film. He might even enjoy the activity, and since we're already out driving, why not find a nice background.

"What do you about taking some picture?" I ask him expressionlessly. My muse lets a wide smile consume his lips.

"I'd like that," He answers. "We haven't done that in a while."

* * *

Naruto is below me, lying back on the grass near the lake. It's a beautiful scene, and the rays of the sun slowly die at the horizon. I bring my camera up to my eye, while Naruto's looking off at the sunset. We ended up on the floor after Naruto took the camera from my neck, and took a sloppy unfocused picture of both of us, before pulling me down for a kiss. I snap the photo, while the orange sun rays dance on Naruto's golden hair.

"It's pretty isn't it," Naruto whispers still looking at the sun set. I sit next to him and nod. "What do you think it's be like for us…in the future?"

I stare at my nymph, he is capable of deep thought despite some people's beliefs, but I've always known this. He might act bubbly, happy, and sometimes overly optimistic, but that doesn't make him an idiot.

"I don't know, I don't see why our situation now would change."

"I..I mean…" Naruto rolls over on his side propping his head up with his hand. "I mean, what did you envision when you where young, how your adult life would be like?'

"Solitary." I say simply.

"I'm not surprised." He chuckles, and looks back at the sky.

"What about you?" I ask in turn.

"I don't know. I didn't think I'd be the boyfriend of a famous artist, that's for sure." He laughs out. The air is peaceful, and we both take a moment to watch the sun disappear completely. Then I feel soft lips on my cheek. I turn my head towards my blonde, who doesn't waste any time and captures my lips. Naruto only pulls a few centimeters away from my lips, and lets his hand run down my shirt.

"Are you sure you don't want to christen the car?" he asks seductively.

"You always seem to get your way," I tell him, kissing his neck lightly.

xXx

We fall into the back sit. I slip the camera from around my neck, and put in down on the front seat, so it won't get damaged. Naruto manages to close the car door with is foot, before he wraps his arms around me and kisses me furiously. Our tongues intertwine, and Naruto's breathing is already becoming heavy. It's cramped and uncomfortable, and I try to find a comfortable position for Naruto and me before this goes any further. My muse whimpers when I pull away from him, and move.

"What are you doing," Naruto asks catching his breath.

"Trying to make this work, without getting a cramp," I explain and sit, before pulling Naruto into my lap. Naruto eagerly rubs his hip against mine, and attaches his lips to my neck. He sucks my skin rhythmically, as I let my hand touch the muscles of his stomach. Naruto takes my hand, never stopping the attention he's giving my neck. Our fingers intertwine, and again Naruto causes friction between us. He moans softly his fingers holding on to my hand weakly. I escape and take both my hand and place them on Naruto's face. He looks at me with half lidded eye, desperately grinding against me. I bring his face down to mine and kiss him, nipping his lower lip with my teeth. He groans, and lets his fingers travel down my body. His nails rack against the fabric of my shirt with hatred, wanting to feel my skin instead. Then he rests his hands on my hips before timidly unzipping my pants. I feel my muse's hot breath on my lips as he pulls away just a fraction to run his tongue across my piercing before taking my whole bottom lip into his mouth.

He continues to wiggle in my lap, silently asking me to rid him of his pants. I oblige, and tug his pant down. Naruto sighs out for a moment, resting his forehead on my shoulder and gently licking my neck.

"Ah," The blond rids himself completely of his pants and underwear with my help, while I tease his earlobe. He settles back down in my lap, his member poking me in the stomach. He grips on to my thighs and tugs my pants down lower, in an attempt to expose me as well. While he struggles with his task, I wet my fingers using his tongue and mouth. He happily does me this favor, wetting my fingers, all the while fumbling with my jeans. Once he succeeds the two fingers pushing themselves into him soon distract him.

"Un...ah.." Naruto pants out, biting his lips. He's always so vocal. Every single touch makes him moan or sigh. I scissor my fingers and my nymph hums with bliss.

"That's good enough," he tells me impatiently. I ignore the statement, instead taking my time in preparing him. "Gaara…" he whines.

I decided to give him what he wants, and place both my hands on his hips. I lift him gently placing above me, before letting him lower himself. He takes me in slowly, almost unable to handle the responsibility. He rests his head on my shoulder his nails digging into my neck. I help him, pushing him down abruptly, forcing myself in.

"Ah! Oh…god…" Naruto mutters out, surprised by the sudden action. I move him tenderly guiding him up and down. My muse gives himself up completely, letting me control every movement. I hold on tightly to his hips as my own pleasure builds.

"Mmnah…" Naruto mumbles out as I quicken our pace. His breath spilling over my shoulder, and his nails drawing blood, though I don't mind.

His hand slips leaving little droplets of red behind. His moans, and mewls continue to fill the hair, except louder. I can feel him touching himself, his hand occasionally thumping against my stomach. Wanting to bring him a satisfying relief my thrust become harder. My blond yelps in response.

We both reach climax in unison. Electric pleasure running down our spines, taking with it all our energy.

xXx

"Mmm," Naruto coos in satisfaction, letting his hand tease some of my red spikes. We are both catching our breath. I look at my little nymph a soft smile on his face, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.

"Merry Christmas," he mutters out.

"Merry Christmas."


	18. A morbid start to the New Year

Chapter 18: A morbid start to the New Year

**Naruto's POV**

I rub my eyes and continue to drag my bag on the floor while walking towards my car.

"Can you feel it? This years gonna suck. Nothing like going to a funeral..." I mutter out, more to myself then my lover. He ignores me anyway, and takes my bag.

"The funeral won't be until the end of the week." He tells me, closing the trunk.

"Then why are we leaving now?"

"The celebration of life party is tomorrow, followed by the open casket viewing the next day. Then after he's cremated the scattering of his ashes."

"When I die, just put me in the ground and be done with it."

"Have you written a will?" Gaara questions.

"No, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon." I tell him getting into the passenger seat of my car. I'm too tired to drive, so I'll let Gaara drive my baby, just this once. "Why, have you written one?" I lazily roll my head to look at my lover through sleepy eyes.

"Yes, but I'll have to revise it." He states plainly and starts the car.

"Always prepared." I smile at him and close my eyes when he starts to pull out, wanting to catch up on my interrupted sleep…

My eyes flutter open, and I grimace when I try to move my stiff neck. Sleeping in a car always sucks, but at the same time the movement of it lulls you to sleep. I yawn and stretch adjusting my seat belt so it's not cutting my throat.

"Hey Gaara?" I chime, feeling rested and happy.

"Mmm?"

"Who's all going to be at the funereal?"

My red head is silent for a moment. "Our family is pretty small, so most likely friends of my father."

"How big is your family?"

"In my immediate family, only, Temari, and Kankuro. The three of us are the last Sabaku's." He explains. "My Grandfather had a sister, who had a son, who in turn married and also had a son. I don't know what that makes him…I don't think he's my cousin…his name's Sasori Sabure." Gaara explains emotionlessly.

"You think he'll be at the funeral?"

"Most likely I went to his parents funereal when I was younger." He mutters out. I look at Gaara…this trip might not be so bad. Maybe I'll be able to find out more about Gaara's past.

"Do you two get along? Is he older then you?"

"I've only seen him twice in my life. Once when him and his parents were staying with us, so they could attend my mother funeral. Then again at his own parent's funereal. He's much older then me, Even older then Temari, I don't know his exact age." Gaara tells me in a nonchalant manner. He obviously is only informing me because I asked, and he doesn't care much about the topic. He really doesn't have any family relationships at all. Though maybe that'll change, with Temari's help.

"Hey Gaara, did you ever find a new manager?" I question him. With the holiday's coming to and end, Gaara's going to have go back to work…or something.

He shakes his head. "I'm going on hiatus, and I'm going to focus on school more. After that I'll see if I might do some freelance work, until I can find someone…that is more in touch with my ideals."

"Yeah…you know I'm actually not looking forward to going back to my classes." I groan out. "I'll be working on papers the rest of the year, not to mention being bombarded with tons of tests. I'm already holding out for spring break." I say with a short laugh.

**Gaara's POV**

I pull into the hotel parking lot, where I booked our room. Temari had offered to let us stay in the house with her and Kankuro, however, I do not want to spend the night in my childhood home.

Naruto and I get out of the car, and take our bags out of the trunk. "You think the media will be reporting about your dads death?" Naruto says teasingly.

"I hope not, I don't want to be treated like an actor. I'm a simple artist."

"Yeah, but now a days people just want to hear gossip about rich people doesn't matter if you're an actor or not. Just like Paris Hilton."

"It's ridiculous. I thought this job would come with some seclusion…" I mutter out more to myself then to my muse.

"Yeah well, you should of thought about that before becoming a famous gay artist with an interesting past." Naruto pokes me in the arm playfully, and I close the trunk to his car, only to roll my eyes at his statement. Though he's correct it seems that anyone who makes a good amount of money is gossiped about now a days. Muckrakers don't seem to be picky anymore.

I walk up to the front desk of the hotel to check in and get our room keys. We make our way to our room, and drop our bags on the beds in the room.

"Two beds?' Naruto says unzipping his bag, while I put some clothes away in the provided drawers.

"That's usually the standard at a hotel." I explain simply.

"We're still sharing a bed though, even if it is small." Naruto huffs and put away some of his clothes. I don't reply, but simply keep myself busy. I doubt I'll be sleeping much anyway. Just being back in this town…knowing that my father left me something in his will. A first and last plea for my forgiveness. Something he probably thought up while on his deathbed, to somehow ease his conscience. To make him feel better, so he can think that at least he's left me something.

"Gaara," Naruto's soft voice pulls me out of my bitter thoughts. I turn to him blankly, and his eyebrows frown together. I turn my head and begin folding again. After years of knowing me, Naruto is one of the few people that can guess at my feelings. Sometimes I am grateful for his ability to do so, other times I just wish to be left alone. This is one of those times. I know he is probably worrying about my mental state, but I just can't bring myself to care. I already feel myself becoming cold…I haven't even been in this town for a day and already I'm letting my past affect me. I don't want to dwell on it…however it's hard not to think about the past now that my father is dead.

I let out a sigh, and close the drawer I was putting my clothes in. Why did I even come here? I should have just stayed at home, I don't care what it is my father left me…he won't change my feeling towards him with a final parting gift. If the thought of death is what it took to make him regret his past actions then I don't care what he left me.

"Don't let this turn you back into that person I met in high school." I feel the bed sink next to me. "He's gone, you don't' have to worry about him now. Why are you letting this upset you?' Naruto questions. I merely shake my head, and the blonde looks a little angry but lets the conversation go, knowing that I don't' feel like talking right now.

People can just be so shallow and selfish. I suppose that is what's upsetting me about this whole thing. I am showing my father respect that he doesn't deserve by coming to his damn funeral. When I ask myself why it's because, I don't want to be like all those other selfish people. I stopped being selfish a long time ago. Or maybe I hope for some sort of respect in return… I let my eyes drift towards my muse who is pushing his bag under one of the beds. A feel a little bit more at ease when I look at him.

I don't want to turn back into the person I was in high school. I guess with all that's happened this year…it's worn me out. People always stick their noses in other peoples business. Yes, I handled the situation about the magazine exposing Naruto calmly and coolly. It's the only way I know how to respond, I won't let people get to me and break me down. I stopped caring about their opinions the day my uncle died. Sometimes…I can't help but think that it would just be easier to go back into my shell. To build up my walls even higher, and just ignore the world. However that's not that easy. I have to interact with people in order to make a living. It doesn't matter what kind of job I would get, I'll end up having contact with someone at some point anyway. Society has made sure that no one can achieve isolation.

With the New Year, come new fatigues. I feel tired but not sleepy. I am tired of human's behavior, and stupid emotions. Yes I know I have emotions, sometimes I feel them to strongly, and others I am completely unaware of. I was emotionally stunted because of my childhood, but I'm social handicapped by choice. It's times like these that remind me why I try to stay away from people as much as possible. Sure, I can handle Naruto on daily bases, but that's because I care for him, because he's so different from other people.

Human thoughts are mostly shallow. There is hardly any deep thought in today's society, and those who do think deeply are labeled as insane, or strange. I just don't understand. I don't understand why people have taken an interest in my personal life, rather then just focusing on my artwork. I don't understand why that deranged woman stalked Naruto. I don't understand why my father started caring about me only days before his death. Maybe I don't understand because I still haven't mastered the definition of emotions. Or possibly I will never be able experience emotion like other do. I feel them, and sometimes I let them take over my action…but maybe…maybe I just process them differently. Maybe that's why I can't understand why people do the things they do.

"Gaara," Naruto pouts wrapping his arms around me. "Get out of your head and pay attention to me." He says with a slight giggle. Again I relax, as Naruto chases all my bitter feelings away.

"Entertain yourself," I tell him flatly, however I know he hears the underlying attempt at teasing him.

"So you can go back to your emoness? I don't' think so. I'm gonna bug you, until you stop letting this situation eat at you."

"Temari invited us over for dinner tonight," I change the subject emotionlessly.

"You up for going?" Naruto asks.

"It would be rude to decline," I sigh out as I recite one of society's rules. One which I don't want to follow but somehow, I know I'm going to go and see my sister, because I don't' want to be selfish.

"Yeah but we can always lie and say we're to tired to go tonight after the long drive down here." My muse suggests. The proposal is tempting and I turn it over in my mind. I look at the digital clock in on the nightstand next to the hotel phone; it's three o'clock.

"No…it'll be a little bit of a distraction from my thoughts." I think out loud.

"Yeah but being there is only going to give you more stuff to think about later." Naruto scolds me, and lets his arms slide off me. He sits on the bed, and looks up at me with genuine concern.

"I'll be fine," I mutter out. "I'm going to take a shower and change clothes.." I inform my muse. He nods in understanding, and is probably going to do the same after I'm finished.

**Naruto's POV**

It's really uncomfortable in the dinning room. I wish Gaara had declined the dinner invitation because there just seems to be so much tension and unease in the air. Temari had greeted us with an obviously fake smile, probably still upset about her father's death. She simply told Gaara that she was glad he came, and that he'll be at the funeral. Then everything went silent. The three siblings didn't want to talk about their father. Instead just quietly eating and keeping their thoughts to themselves.

I slowly take another fork full of food to my mouth, letting my blue eyes scan the table. Kankuro hadn't said a word, I'm actually happy about that, but it's still uncomfortable to sit in this silence. Temari didn't even attempt to make any small talk, and of course my Gaara was his usual icy self.

I let out a sigh only to break the silence but I'm not about to say anything. It's not my place to say anything, and I sure as hell don't want to get yelled or glared at. I didn't know Gaara's dad that well, and to be honest I'm glad I didn't. However both Kankuro and Temari cared about him, so I'm not going to say anything. I think back to Sasuke's words about not pushing Gaara to tell me about his past. He's told me some; I remember every word, and every feeling that came over me when he told me his story. It explained so much…but know I'm a little confused. I'm seeing Gaara start to withdraw again, and I don't know why. I can't understand why he's letting his father's death bug him so much. I can understand that he's angry, or maybe even upset…after all he'll never be able to ask his father how he really felt about him. I'm sure Gaara feels like there are some unresolved problems between him and his father, and now those problems can never be solved. However Gaara was never the type to let stuff like that keep him down.

I wish he'd talk to me a little more, but I know he really just want's to be left alone right now. I keep running over the facts that I do know about Gaara's childhood and family life, and I keep wondering if there is any room in that tragedy for even more, that Gaara hasn't told me about. I can't imagine that. His mother went insane and killed herself, his uncle tired to kill him, and Gaara ended up killing him instead. His father became bitter after all these deaths blaming them all on him, and neglected him. His siblings began to believe it was his fault as well, though Temari became a little bit more mature about it all…What else could have gone wrong? Can there really be something Gaara hasn't told me yet?

I look up at Kankuro…He still seems bitter. He still holds hate towards Gaara, maybe not a deep hate but a dislike. You would think a death in the family would bring them together…but it's just making everything more awkward.

Suddenly the scratching of chair legs against tile flooring causes me to look up from my food. I'm not the only one who's looked up. Kankuro stands, his head hung a little. He shakes his head and then looks at his little brother directly past me.

"Why are you here?" he questions quietly. Gaara doesn't answer.

"Kankuro, it's hard enough to deal with dad's death without you starting something." Temari mutters out.

The second oldest of the siblings ignores her, still keeping his eyes locked on my red head. "Are you only here because of the will?" Again Gaara doesn't answer, but simply keeps his expression stoic.

"Answer me!" Finally Kankuro raised his voice.

I wince a little, feeling pretty angry that Kankuro is acting like this. I look at Gaara hoping that this isn't just making things worse for him. Temari was about to say something when Gaara stops her with his hand. He continues to look at his older brother for a moment before finally speaking.

"I'm here because despite the shit that man put me through, he's still my father. And I have a right to know what he left me in his will. I have a fucking right to know if he even in the slightest regrets the shit he did to me!" I'd never seen Gaara this emotional. His eyes gleam with a murderous intent, even though his face was expressionless. His hand was curl into a fist under the table, he was attempting to hide his anger, but angry is one emotion Gaara knows well, and it along with sadness is the most familiar to him. I fight the urge to wrap my hand around his fist, and calm him, however I know he'd probably only lash out at me. I've learned the hard way that when it comes to Gaara's family it's best to just sit there and be quiet. I don't want to have another fight with my boyfriend because of his family again.

"Why do you care?" this question even caught Gaara by surprise, however his face harden instantly.

"I'm not a monster despite what you think, and what dad thought! I may never forgive him, but I at least deserve some form of an apology from him. He owes me that much!"

"You killed his wife! Our mother! Why would he even think you were worthy of his forgiveness."

The mentioning of Gaara's mother really set Gaara off, and he to stood up from his chair now. "She killed herself damn it!"

"You were the one who drove her to kill herself!"

"Yes because I'm some sort of devil, some kind of monster. I was only a child!"

"You should have never been born! If you were never born, mom would still be here. Dad wouldn't have become a recluse for years! He wouldn't' have been so depressed, and he could have been a much happier father to me and Temari rather then depending so much on Yashamaru to take care of us!"

"He wouldn't have had time for you either way, he always drowned himself in his work! You saw him more then I did. Yashamaru was taking care of me! That's why dad asked him to come stay with us, because he was too weak to handle the sight of me. Uncle may have cooked and served you, and he may have been around more then dad, but that's only because dad cared more about his Business then his own damn children!"

"He never worked that much before! You're the one who drove him to isolate himself in his work. But you wouldn't' know about that, since our family went to shit the moment you were born.

"Shut up!" this time it was me who yelled. I glare at Kankuro. I can' take this anymore, I don't' care if Gaara doesn't want me to get involved in his family life, I'm not just going to sit here and let my lover be insulted. I turn to the red head and take his hand.

"We're leaving come on." I tell him gently, he doesn't respond, but lets me guide him to the front door. Temari gets up and hurries after us.

"Naruto—"

"Thanks for the dinner Temari," I tell her quickly before slamming the door behind me. Gaara slips his wrist out of my grasp and lets out a deep frustrated sigh as he starts to walk to the car. I follow after him getting into the driver's seat as he sits next to me. I want' to say something, but I know that he needs to calm down a little bit first. If I'm going o be here for this funeral, than damn it I need to know some more shit about his family relations, so I can handle out burst like this. So I can stand up for him, or make him feel better, with the right words. I don't care if he doesn't want me telling him what to do when it comes to his family, but fuck I'm not going to put up with yelling. These siblings are going to have to grow up and start acting a little bit civil towards each other!


	19. Life

Chapter 19: Life

**Naruto's POV**

I feel the mattress moving, and I slowly open my eyes. "Gaara?' I ask, sleep apparent in my voice. I don't get a response, and rub my eyes to get a better look at my red head. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, head hanging a little with exhaustion.

"Are you finally coming to bed?" I question softly. Yes I'm use to Gaara's insomnia but I tried to get him to come to bed at the same time as me, so that maybe his mind wouldn't drift to unwanted thoughts. I reach out and my fingertips brush against his for arm. "Lay down." I urge him softly.

He lifts up the covers and come to lay with me. I smile softly, and instantly wrap my arms around him. I don't want to ask what he's thinking about, because I know—maybe not specifically what but I know the general topic.

I rest my head under Gaara's chin and close my eyes. He doesn't return my embrace, but I know he must still be in thought.

"You wanna talk about it?" I ask innocently. Actually I have a few words I want to express, like how Kankuro is a bastard, and Gaara shouldn't let his words get to him.

"No but you do," He says in he usual monotone voice.

"Yeah I do." I scoot away a little so I can look into his eyes. "I know that you haven't told me everything about your relationship with your family, and that's all right. I don't want to know if you don't want to tell me. But I can tell by Kankuro's words that there's more to it then I know. Anyway, I just want you to be comfortable, and not withdraw into your shell. It took me long enough to get you out the first time!" The last part I said playfully.

"I'm not upset." I give Gaara a disbelieving look. "I'm not. I only wonder why it is that my family is like this. I know the reasons, but then I have to question why Kankuro holds on to these things. I know humans want someone to blame, however it's becoming rather childish, and pissing me off at this point." Gaara sighs out with aggravation.

"You can say that again." I mutter out. "I don't' know what his problem is but…I know you don't want to think about this, but have you though about repairing your relationship with your siblings. I mean even though your dad was an ass, you three have just lost a father and you should be comforting one another not arguing."

"We all see my father differently. I do not miss him, seeing as he tries to so hard to avoid me during his life, I can't feel sorrow for him being gone now. I only want some sort of closure…it's rather ridiculous. However I do deserve an apology…" Gaara's voice is emotionless, and his eyes blank as they look into mine.

"You really do…you've really opened up and an apology would help to keep you moving." I tell him with a soft smile.

"I only open up to you." He tells me matter-o-factly

"I know, but you're still handling the outside world better then you did in high school. Even if you still are kinda a loner." I explain with a grin on my face. I rest my head on Gaara's chest and close my eyes. "Try and get some sleep, ok?" I say softly letting out a yawn.

* * *

We enter Gaara's childhood home yet again, I parked the car on the side of the street because the driveway is full of other vehicles. I've never been to a celebration of life party…I haven't even heard of such a thing, so I'm a little excited to see what it is. Gaara told me I didn't need to wear black, and luckily I packed a lot of different outfits, because I wasn't planing on lounging around in black all day anyway, after the funeral. However it was still suppose to be formal wear. So I settled for a soft orange shirt that reminded me of a peach, that had white designs on it, and a white tie along with white slacks, and out of place orange sneakers. Gaara was wearing a similar outfit accept his pants were a little tighter and red. His shirt was black, and the tie matched the pants. A white belt is hugging his hips, and his shoes where white as well.

Gaara's been quiet since the car rid, I'm assuming he's mentally preparing himself for this party. He rang the doorbell and we waited for it to open. I glance at Gaara seeing if I can catch some glimpse of emotion in his eyes, but his face is even more stoic then usually. I'll have to keep close to him during this event, and of course stay away from Kankuro.

I wasn't surprised to see Temari open the door. "Glad you came, I'm sorry about ye—"

Gaara held up his hand slightly, telling her he didn't want to talk about it. "Has everyone arrived?" He questions casually walking pass his sister. I give her a forced smile and follow my boyfriend.

"I believe so. For now though just enjoy yourselves, and around six we're going to gather in the living room." She explains, closing the door. Gaara nods and I hurry up next to me.

"Gather for what?" I question.

"Speeches about my father, and probably photos to. Today is a day for good memories, not an event I can actually participate in, however it would be rude not to show. It's part of the funereal in a way."

"That's weird. Is that like a tradition in your family?"

"You could say that…a lot of people do it, but usually after the funeral. It brings comfort." He mumbles out the explanation, with no emotions attached. I look around as me and Gaara take a seat near the stereo, which is playing soft music. He probably wants to take in the surroundings to. To see what he's gotten himself in to.

There aren't a lot of women her. There was only one other then Temari. The rest were older men, probably business partners of Gaara's father, or something.

That woman is blonde, with little stands of brown waved in. She looked fairly young, but probably older then Gaara and me. She approached us.

"I'm sorry for your loss." She says politely to Gaara. Gaara nods his thanks. However the women seemed to want to start a conversation, probably feeling out of place among all those old men. "I was your father's secretary, he was a very...serious man. He did good work."

"His business was his escape," Gaara replied coldly, not really wanting to talk to this woman.

She didn't seem to notice the tone. "I've heard of you, and even seen some of your art work. I'm sure you're a very good business man your self in a way. Your father must have been proud."

"Hardly," again the tone was dead. This voice was rather familiar it's the voice Gaara used in high school to try and chase people away, so he wouldn't have to talk to him.

The women noticed this and after squirming a little in confusion, she happily went on chatting. "So how are you related to the deceased? I've never seen you in the office." She questions me politely.

"Oh, I'm Gaara's boyfriend." I say plainly, knowing Gaara wouldn't care, seeing as basically most of the art world knew. I wondered if this woman was such a fan why didn't she know about me?

"Oh, well it's nice of you to be here to support him." I smile at her, she seems like a sweet girl. She took a seat next to me. "You don't mind if I sit do you?"

I shake my head, "No, not at all." I tell her, and she opens her mouth to talk to me, only to stop when she notices Gaara getting up.

"Gaara?" I question. I want to keep an eye on him, and I can't do that if he's wondering off.

"I'm going to get something to drink, I'll be back," He mutters out and slowly walks away. I let out a sigh.

"He's not very social." I smile at the woman

"It must be hard for him…" She says sadly.

"It is," I agree. However it's hard for him for different reasons than what she is assuming.

I continue to talk with the secretary, and then a sudden sinking next to me, made me turn. It felt like an angry flop onto the couch, and I was making sure Gaara wasn't upset in some way. However when I turned I didn't see Gaara, but yet another blonde. What is this, the bimbo corner? Not that I consider myself a bimbo.

This time it was a man probably around twenty-seven. His hair is long, and covering part of his face. He brought some wine to his lips and drank the red liquid, before noticing that I'm looking at him.

"What?" He asked with irritation.

"Oh…I just…that seats taken." I tell him politely.

He snorts. "I don't' see anyone in it, yeah."

"Well he just got up to get a drink." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Well he can sit somewhere else, yeah." He grumbles taking another swig of the drink.

"I'd like it if he sat there." I say holding back my irritation.

"Well if you want to set with him so bad, then why not offer your lap up, yeah?"

I lift a finger and open my mouth wide ready to tell him off, when I saw red hair. "Ga—" I stop and look at the man…that's not my Gaara.

"Deidara, are you bothering the guest again?" The red head asks with annoyance lacing his tone, he seemed bored and tired.

"I'm so sick of this homophobic crowd, haven't we been here long enough? You only hung out with this part of your family when you were little, yeah."

"Maybe if you weren't' so flamboyant, people wouldn't be as homophobic." The red head grumbles.

"Oh, fuck, excuse me for holding your hand, yeah. Oh, and I apologize for kissing you on your cheek." The blonde man named Deidara mocks.

"I don't have time for you childish behavior," He says sternly, taking the man's wine. "This will only make you act like an idiot further. You are so incompetent."

"Oh don't start that again. I make more money off my art then you do!" The man raises garbing for the wineglass, which the red head holds out of reach with no effort at all.

"Sasori, excuse me." I turn at the sound of Gaara's voice who's holding two drinks in his hand, trying to slide past he fighting men to take his seat next to me. He hands me a glass and I thank him.

"Gaara, I've heard about you. You seem to be doing well."

"The same can be said for your friend here." Gaara nudged his head towards the blond."

"Husband!" The blonde snapped raising a hand to show off a diamond ring and wedding band.

"Deidara." Sasori, hiss in warning.

"I see you've been able to keep your relationship secret."

"Not from lack of trying on his behalf." Sasori explains in a tone that obviously showed he was aggravated.

I take a sip of my drink—which I find out is punch. "Who is this, Gaara?" I question him, wanting to be part of the conversation, since Gaara seems a little at ease around these people.

"This is Sasori, the cousin I told you about." The memory comes back and I make an O with my lips, nodding in understanding. "And this is his Husband, Deidara, a pretty famous sculptor."

Gaara then turns to the pair. "This is Naruto my boyfriend."

"Another gay couple, at least we're not alone, yeah. You two must be having a blast here, with all these tight ass business men, yeah." Deidara snorted sarcastically, earning him a sharp glare, and punch from his husband, whose patience finally ran out.

"Don't waste these peoples time with you whining," he tells the blond.

"So you're married?' I question putting my glass down and getting up reaching for Gaara's hand. "You guys live in California?"

"Nah, we got married after that state changed it's dumbass mind, yeah."

"Sasori, rub his temples. "We were married in Connecticut. I have a shop there."

"Oh what kind?" I ask cheerfully. Gaara drinks some of his own punch letting me make conversation, probably preferring that I do so rather then him.

"A doll shop." He says plainly.

**Gaara's POV**

Naruto keeps making conversation with my cousin (who doesn't seem very interested in the social interaction) and his husband. Luckily no one else approached me to apologize for my loss, mainly because the rest where businessmen that knew of my fathers hatred towards me.

"Ok, everyone lets gather in the living room," Temari announces, and I can already feel the dread in my gut. I really don't want to sit through this, however I'm not going to be selfish like my father. This whole trip was about being a better person, and not sinking as low as my father. Forgetting and ignoring won't change anything.

Everyone takes a seat in the living room, either sitting on the couch or the extra chairs that were brought in. Naruto seems fascinated by this, and looks around, ready to see what this is all about. Temari takes a seat next to Naruto and me. Kankuro is standing in front of a large television which at the moment as a picture of my father on it.

"We are all here to remember the fortune and good that my father brought into our lives, and—" I tune him out, not really remembering anything good that my father has done. I only half pay attention as Kankuro continues his speech, before other volunteers stand to show their respect and tell a story. Everyone is happy, laughing, and relating, while I just ignore it. I can't really celebrate my father's life, however others seem to drown away their mourning by recalling happy memories.

* * *

Naruto loosens his tie and throws it onto his bag. "Well that was weird. I think it might have been better if it was someone I actually cared about. But, you cousin seems all right. He kinda reminds me a lot of you." Naruto chuckles and lets a sly grin cross his lips as he sheds his shirt. "He seems to have a thing for blondes too." He says seductively turning towards me. I look up at him, pushing my shoes aside, and taking off my own tie as well.

"How are you holding up?" He asks softly, wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm fine," I say out in exasperation. I know he is worried and only wants me to be comfortable, however my mood hasn't been it's best, and I do feel like isolating myself a little. Naruto does occasionally give me my space, but I don't' expect him to back off completely. If I draw away from him it will only make him worry.

"You know, I think it would be good to sit down with your sibling and talk out your feelings before the reading off the will. Just in case, you know. Depending on what you get, Kankuro might start something again. Besides they're the only family you have left, and even though Temari might not be doing that great of a job, she's trying to include you none the less. You said yourself, she's always been kind to you, for the most part."

"It's complicated. I don't know if I can mend that relationship." I say in a monotone voice.

"You want to talk about it?" He asks gently, kissing my cheek.

"It's…" I pause thinking about if I want to dive into my memories at a time like this. "Basically my dad was a workaholic at the start of my life. That's when my uncle came into the picture, I already told you about that. After his death, my father felt trapped not being able to hide away from me anymore. For the longest time he was very moody, yelling occasionally at Temari and Kankuro. Of course I, like always, was blamed for his change in mood. He was…abusive towards me for a while. Not like what you saw. With him verbally abusing me, pushing me around and basically ripping up everything I liked or cared about. No he started to drink, and he'd always make me be there as he drank, ranting about how I ruined his life, hitting me, making me clean shit up when he decided to through his glass against the wall. He'd remind me that I was a murder, wouldn't let me sleep…I guess that stuck. Along with other violent out burst. One time the school noticed some bruises and asked him about it. Of course he played the part of concerned father, until afterward. I was 'punished' and basically wasn't able to go to school for a couple of days because of that. Kankuro was yelled at too, for not keeping an eye on me, letting me further ruin the family's lives. That's how I ended up being sent to boarding school along with Kankuro. Being away from my father seemed to calm him a little, but he still hated me none the less." I explain, giving Naruto more of my family history.

"Why didn't you tell me this back in high school?"

"My father's behavior really didn't' bother me that much…yeah I hated him for it but my uncle…he's the one who really fucked me up." Naruto nods in understanding. What happened between my uncle and me was more important to me then my father's weakness and eventual mental break down. "After my uncles death is really when I couldn't' sleep well anymore, my father forcing me to stay up and watch his drunken rants until he passed out, wasn't that big of a deal."

My muse pulls me close to him, and trails kiss along my chin before resting his head on my shoulder. "Why is it that you always seem to deal with this shit, all alone?"

"Because I usually do."

"But I'm hear now, you don't' need to deal with it alone anymore." Naruto tells me with slight anger in his voice. I nod absentmindedly. It's just a habit to keep it in, I've opened up to Naruto on many occasions, but I still like to solve my own problems. Which includes the whole emotional turmoil of being here for my father funeral. I don't' want to show all my emotions…mainly because I still think some of them should be private, and other still don't feel right. I still don't recognize them completely, no matter how well Naruto taught me.

Naruto sigh and lifts his head. "Will just think about what I said, about your siblings ok?" I don't reply, and Naruto gets up to continue undressing and put on his nightclothes, I do the same.

"It's kinda cool that your cousin is married. You think we'll ever get married?" Naruto muses happily.

I pull on my nightshirt before replying. "I suppose it depends on how people will feel about gay marriage in the future, or where my art takes us." I tell him.

"Well there are a lot of artistic jobs in California, but ya know what happened last time they voted."

"Yes, however it's a little early to be think about this, don't you think?" I question.

"You wouldn't want to marry me?' Naruto gasps, coming to sit down next to me on our bed.

"I didn't say that, I just think you should finish college, besides it's not going to happen any time soon," I state realistically.

"I guess," Naruto pouts, and clings to me. "People are jerks."

"It might change." I mutter out, and Naruto kisses me on the lips, I return the gesture.

"Tomorrow is the open casket viewing right?" He questions his lips lingering against mine. I simply nod in response before pressing our lips together again. Naruto smile against the touch.

"After that we'll spread the ashes. Temari said she only wants family there at that event, so there won't be a big crowd." Naruto nods softly, pulling me down on top of him, before kissing me again. His hand slipping down my back. My hand finds it's way into his spiky hair and I deepen out kiss, before pulling away.

"Not tonight," I tell him, before turning off the light. I can hear the disappointed groan, before he shuffles under the covers.

* * *

**A/N story info**: So there will probably be maybe two chapters left of this story, depending how long the next chapter will be. I don't want to squish everything into one chapter though so probably two more. I want to end the story after the reading of the will and Gaara getting some 'closure'. Um, also I love my NaruGa and GaaNaru, but this is probably going to be the last one for a long while. I'm going to go back to my roots and do a SasuNaruo (I know I'm such a cheater XD). Um school will probably not slow me down as much this year, cuz I'm mainly taking online classes, so I'll be able to update and write stories a little faster. Thanks for the support, and all the reviews, and such! Say goodbye to Gaara and Naruto for now, but I won't forget about them, cuz deep down I'm a NaruGaa fangirl!!!


	20. still an outcast

**Chapter 20: Still and outcast**

**Naruto's PoV**

My eyes lazily scan the room. The gloomy atmosphere suffocated me, and I just want to get this damn thing over with. Gaara and I are sitting in the chairs while others file in, or go up to the solid oak casket (that's just going to be burned in the cremation process) to view Gaara's father. I can understand the whole giving respect thing, and I admire Gaara for being here, even though he never had a good relationship with his dad, but Kankuro's really pissing me off. He keeps peering over his shoulder at us. He's in the front row with Temari, Gaara and I decided to sit behind them, to distance ourselves but still be near the immediate family.

It's almost as if time has stopped, and I simply can't bring myself to care about the things that are being said. I wonder if Gaara's paying any attention. Somehow I doubt it, but he's better at hiding it then me. I think I'm just exhausted of being around Kankuro. Never having a big family of my own I can't help but think Kankuro's throwing away a chance to finally start a good relationship with Gaara. I thought funereal were suppose to bring families together, not rip them further apart. I wish I could convince Gaara to also be a little bit more open to a new beginning with his family, but for now I've dropped the subject. I lean my head back and look past the glares that the people behind me give me, to spot Gaara's cousin and his husband. It's kinda weird how much they remind me of us. An outspoken blond and reserved redhead.

"We really need to make this trip a little more fun." I mutter to myself while lifting my head.

"It's almost over."

"This is so not how I wanted to spend my new year." I groan out, knowing I told Gaara this at the beginning of our trip, but it's really starting to sink in how frustrating and depressing this is for the both of us.

* * *

"Dinner again?" I ask softly.

"Yes, Tamari want to make up for the dinner Kankuro ruined."

"I guess that's understandable. You wanna go?"

"Do you?" Gaara ask me with a tilt of his head.

"No, but" I add the but rather quickly. "Maybe the dinner will give the three of you good chance to talk things over."

"I don't know if I'm up for it." Gaara mutters sitting on the bed.

I remove my tie, and take a while to think about what I'm going to say. After all I want Gaara to go. "I know you said that the relationship between you and Kankuro will be hard to fix, I'm not expecting a complete 180, but at least lower the tension. I 'm uncomfortable enough without him glaring at as every five minutes. And if he starts to complain about what your dad left you in his will, saying you don't deserve it and shit," I let out a frustrated sigh. "Plain and simple I'm done with the drama, it's time you two grow up."

"I'm not the one causing the problem." Gaara says in his defense.

"Yeah but you're not helping it either, don't push your sister away, and your brother either. Be the bigger man." Gaara glares at me.

"Why should I, it always seems like I have to take care of everything, for once someone else should handle it and come to me wanting to apologize, or something.' I can clergy hear the frustration in my boyfriends voice.

"I'm just saying. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but...never mind I'll shut up."

"I understand where you're coming from, but really I was hopping coming here would give me some closer and I could just distance myself from this whole situation."

"Making up with your sibling will give you closer." I point out.

"It'll bring up a lot of other stuff, and I didn't come here to get yelled at, or start arguing." I give Gaara sad look. His mood hasn't been the best, he's good at being passive about the whole thing, but I can see being around so many people the past couple of days has really pushed him to his limit.

"I just don't' want another scene like the first dinner," I mutter out softly and sit next to him. "Maybe for once…dare I say…I'm being to optimistic."

Gaara tries to give me a smile but it doesn't work, instead he shrugs his shoulders. "I'm just tired; of this…I'm glad my dad is gone. It gives me a little bit of relief…I don't know…a part of me feels strange. It wasn't an apology but…another part of me is asking why I came all the way out here for all of this. I want to know if he felt some regret on his death bed, but what will that really bring me?"

"Closure, just like you said." I assure him. "So are you going to take up Temari's dinner offer or not?"

"I suppose I could…" He grumbles out.

"Good then I'll have some time for myself." I say dramatically and stretch out on the bed, going out of my way to try and push Gaara off.

"You're going to make me go alone?"

"I'm not making you do anything. I just think you guys need some family time, and if I see Kankuro's glare one more time today I'm going to hit him in his face." I say truthfully.

**Gaara's POV**

I knock on the door, a part of me hopping that no one ears and I can just go back to the hotel, and be done with it. However as I think about the things my muse said, I guess there would be no harm in extending an olive branch to my brother. If nothing else it might take away some of my stress and irritation. If I try to talk to him, then no longer would I be the heartless monster, but he; if he refuses my offer. Not that I don't already believe he's just as frigid as me when it come to the topic of our father, but this trip is about closer, getting was I deserve. It's time I get a little more respect from my family. If nothing else I'll make one last stand, and after that never defend myself again.

I'm not surprised when Temari opens the door; she gives me a soft smile, obviously happy that I took her up on the invitation. "Where's Naruto?" She asks.

"He thought it would be better if I had some family time, alone." I mutter out.

Temari snorts a little, stepping aside to let me in. "Probably doesn't want to deal with Kankuro, not that I blame him. I'm hoping that maybe he'll be a little more civil tonight."

I step in and wait for Temari to lead the way after closing the door. "I guess he's been holding a lot of unresolved feelings inside. Not that I need to tell you, I mean you know how he's been acting. I'm long past the stage he's in right now, but I can relate. Don't hold it against him, Gaara; dad's death has been hard on him. He just needs an outlet."

"Which always seems to be me." I state coldly.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, but let's just hope for the best." We enter the dining room, where all the plate are already set upon the table. I can hear the TV running in the background; most likely Kankuro is sitting in front of it.

"Hey Gaara's hear." Temari calls out.

"Oh he actually came?" was his snorted response she got from our brother. I slump down into one of the dining chair, already annoyed.

"Can you stop being childish for once? Lets' act like a normal family." Kankuro steps into the dining room, we make eye contact but nothing is said.

"Dad wouldn't' want us to fight like this, not anymore." Temari muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

Dinner started off quiet, nothing was said. I think Temari was expecting Kankuro and I to speak to one another, maybe work things out. I wasn't up for it. I don't feel like I should be the one start and apology. It seems that apologies all that I think about. A part of me doesn't want to resolve this, another part of me thinks that by resolving it off find some sort of peace. At the same time I really don't know what to feel, or what I hope to gain from this whole thing. It seems that this experience has stirred within me a motion and a desire to justify my childhood experiences. I keep telling myself it's too much to ask, but at the same time I think I deserve it. I want to know what my father left me in his will. And I want my brother to understand and accept that I deserve it. That none of this was my fault, and all the things I went through… I didn't deserve.

The sound of clanking silverware is the only thing I hear, the room a silent; Temari a looks between me and Kankuro. I let out a soft sigh, slightly aggravated.

"The reading of the Will, will be soon." I say softly, maybe hoping it'll prompt my brother to say something in return.

"It's not like ill believing you much," Kankuro says bitterly. I don't respond to him, but simply bring another forkful of food to my mouth. "I know he'll be leaving the most of the company funds."

"There's not much that I'm asking for," I mutter out slightly under my breath. Temari straightens up a little bit in her seat. I don't think this conversation is going anywhere, and I think my words just upset my brother of the more. Not that I Care.

"I don't know how dead felt, or what kind of delusions came into his mind on his death bed. But you don't deserve much."

"Are you going to be this childish for the rest of this funeral?"

"Not being childish, I'm being honest.'

"Kankuro…" Temari whispers that softly. I decided take this as a cube just drop the subject. I shake my head a little and continue eating my meal. Kankuro's seems to settle little to. I really don't need his recognition, just my father's. Maybe Naruto wants me to fix the relationship with my family, but maybe it's too soon. I really don't want to worry about it right now, especially when he's not here for support. I myself still don't know what I really want, or how I really feel that my father's death. I blocked the confusion and the swirling emotions and just continue eating.

**Naruto's POV**

"He's gone for the evening. I'm still trying to get him to patch things up with his siblings."

"Last time you tried that you came to me crying." Sasuke replies stoically.

"You're a jerk you know that. Excuse me for wanting something good to come out of this trip. Seriously it's been nothing but drama and depression." I groan out.

"It's a funeral Naruto, what do you expect? "

"I don't know," I tell him, with a sigh. "How did you feel when you're father died?"

"I don't know, I didn't really feel any pain, or remorse. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was wondering, if maybe you felt the same way Gaara feels now. About your father's death."

"I don't know, I really don't know what to say, or even if that'll help you. I can't even remember how it felt back then. I really don't care, it's not like you ever spent any time with me. Maybe Gaara feels left out. No affection, no acknowledgment, not even an apology. You would know more about how that feels, then I would."

I nod on the other side of the phone; I guess I would know more about Gaara's emotions. I was hoping to get some insight, that's really why I called Sasuke. Remembering how much help he was when Gaara and I got into that fight and what he had said about Itachi. I was hoping our situations had been similar and I could get advice from him, about cheering Gaara up, and handling this whole situation.

"Thanks, anyway I'll let you go know. And survive the rest of this funeral."

"It can't be that bad."

"You wouldn't know, I can relate to any one here. And I don't think, Gaara can either."

"It'll be over soon. Oh and happy New Year." Sasuke says in a somewhat cheerful tone, and that attempts at lightning my mood. I hang up the phone, and will get a while for a while. I can only hope, that the dinner Gaara went to evade ending in a fight or argument. Maybe it's too much for me to wish that doubt his siblings will work things out. Maybe it's too soon after their father's death, to expect them to think of anything else but sorrow…


	21. Moving on

Chapter 21 Moving on

**Gaara's POV **

I open the door to our hotel room, expecting that maybe Naruto has already gone to sleep. It's somewhat late. Temari tried to keep me a little while after dinner, hoping to strike a deep conversation between all of us. Temari is like Naruto in the way that she wants me and Kankuro to make up. I don't see how they can both be so optimistic. Of course I ignored Kankuro for most of the evening. I already resolved, sometime during dinner, that right now wasn't the time to push the subject. I'll see what my father's will brings me. Maybe that will change Kankuro's mind about me. After all he put so much trust in my father's words.

I close the hotel door behind me. Naruto is on the bed resting against the headboard, idly flipping through the few channels on the hotel's TV.

"So, how'd it go?" he asks me and in a light and hopeful tone.

"Not as you would hope. There wasn't much to say between us, and I really don't talk about it."

"OK," Naruto nods in understanding. It took me by surprise, usually he'd encourage me; but I'm not complaining. Maybe he's being a little bit more realistic. Or maybe there's something in my expression that tells him that I don't want to discuss this right now. I come to sit next to him on the bed. He simply smiles at me, reminding me of the nymph I knew back in high school. Somehow, I don't let this evening's occurrence flow through my mind anymore, and I simply have the urge the focus on my muse. It seems with the funeral going on and the tension between me and my siblings—and of course my conflicting thoughts and emotions—I have overlooked Naruto.

"I now, this is probably no fun for you." I say not really thinking the sentence through.

"Well, I told you befor this is not how I wanted to spend my new year's." he says lightheartedly. I simply nod as an answer. "Do you think, maybe one day will get married, and start acting like your cousin and his husband? Same old routine, getting on each other's nerves." Naruto says this almost dreamily, as if that would be a fairy tale ending. I remember having a conversation like this before, and I'm really not ready to be thinking about those kinds of commitments. It's not that I don't care for Naruto but we're both still young; so I simply don't answer him. Of course this doesn't bother my muse in any way. He leans over to rest his head on my shoulder, and I let out a long sigh that seems to have been in me this whole evening; but which I did not dare to let out during dinner.

"You know what would cheer up this whole gloomy atmosphere?" Naruto whispers out suggestively. I close my eye, already knowing where Naruto's train of thought was going. My hand reaches over to let me touch his shoulder. His eyes look up to me impishly, it's not too long before I bring our lips together. Naruto seems starved for the attention, and pushes against my lips softly. I slowly twist my body to be in front of him, and gently push him down onto the bed. His hand, almost automatically, weaves its way into my short hair. Our kiss deepens, and Naruto arches his back a little bit so that our chests connect. The kiss is a simple one, erotic and sweet. A reassuring kiss, telling both of us that we have not forgotten about each other. Naruto's wraps his arms around me, and I trail my hand down his side. For now nothing but simple caresses. This doesn't have to become anything. This kiss doesn't have to lead us anywhere, just connect us. Naruto pulls away a little bit, and lets out a content sigh. For some odd reason I nuzzle his neck. Not that I am one for cuddling. I can feel Naruto's smile spread across his face over my head. He wraps his arms around me, and soon we start kissing again. Our legs intertwining; my mind seems to shut down, and it's just the two of us. No worries about my brother or my father. Just this; the feeling of being needed, and wanted.

* * *

The rest of this funeral proceedings seem to have fly by. I don't know if it's because I was actively trying to ignore my brother, or because I simply couldn't relate to anybody who was mourning my father. However, today was the day… my father's last will and testament would be read. Because of the sharp glare Kankuro and a lawyer had given Naruto, the blonde was forced to stay outside, while I was locked in this room with my two siblings. All of us were seated in comfortable leather chairs. It was deafly quiet, I don't think any one of us knows what to expect.

"So now, the reading of the Will shall commence," the lawyer announces. I set up a little straighter in my seat. The Lawman reads through a little narrative left behind by my father. The assets of his company split between Temari and Kankuro. While the management of the company was left purely to my brother. He also gets the house, and my sister two small sum of cash. I'm not suppressed that the Will is mainly addressing my two older siblings.

"Before his death," the lawyer look straight at me now, "you're father did a small and quick revision of his will."

I look up expectantly at the lawyer awaiting my share of my father's assets; even if that is simply a last word I never heard.

"To my youngest son, Gaara, I leave this personal letter to be given to him and read in private." The lawyer hands me a decorative envelope, which I assume must hold the letter. "I also leave to him, all of my wife's belongings which I have kept in the addict."

At this Kankuro turns his head to look at me, perhaps slightly jealous. I ignore him, I'm sure my father's reasoning for this will be explained in the letter; not that I would inform Kankuro about the content of that letter. Temari smiles at me softly, I don't really know why but I appreciate the gesture. I don't know what I'll do with all the belongings of a mother that I never really knew. I feel like those belongings will only stirrup painful memories. All I remember of my mother is her crying and wailing. All my memories of her are connected to pain and accusation. Lost in my train of thought, I don't notice that my siblings have already gotten up from their seats. Temari rests a hand on my shoulder and squeezes slightly. I look up at her with blank eyes, before getting up myself. Kankuro makes a childish point of bumping into Naruto on his way out. Temari stands by my boyfriend, waiting for me to join them.

"I'm sure dad has a reason for what he left you. I just hope it'll bring you closure, and that may be my two little brothers will stop fighting," she sighs out the last part, but I don't make any promises. After all it's not my fault that Kankuro is acting so childish and bitter. I simply nod to her, and take Naruto's hand in mine pulling him away from the oak door.

"So what did you get?" the blonde asks me promptly.

"A letter and all my mother's belongings." I reply emotionlessly. Naruto's blue eyes look at me with slight confusion. I shrug in return.

"What do you think the letter says?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure on his death bed he realized a lot of mistakes he made. I still don't really know what I want from this whole ordeal, or what I expect to gain from my father now that he's dead. The only thing running through my mind is that I don't want to be blamed anymore."

"It never was your fault," Naruto says softly, in that sweet cheerful voice of his.

* * *

_To, my son_

_It seems now it is too late. When faced with death a man is forced to realize all the things he has done wrong in his life. I'm not here to ask for your forgiveness, nor explain or excuse my actions. I'm sure you know by now, that your mother's death along with your uncle's death had strained our whole family; including you. I should've known back then it wasn't your fault. You where just a child, afraid and lost, and I wasn't man enough to guide you or assure you that everything would be OK._

_All that I can give to you as proof, that I have realized my fault, is to entrust you with all the keepsakes I have of my beloved wife; your mother. You never really had a chance to get to know her. I don't think, she ever really had a chance to get to know you. And even if her mind was not completely clear, I know in her heart like any other mother she loved you._

_With sincere apology,_

_You're father._

Fin…

**Naruto's POV**

We unpacked the moving boxes that are in the living room. The big windows let in the bright California Sun. I still haven't stopped smiling, not that Gaara's complaining.

"I still think you should write a contract," Gaara mumbles out under his breath, while setting up the entertainment set.

"But I Trust you, I don't need a document to protect me from something that'll never happen." Gaara lets out a snort, pessimistic as always. I get up from the couch and wrap my arms around him as he hooks up the TV. "Just like I'd don't need a document to tell me that were married." I say romantically, over exaggerating my soft voice. "Would you likes some dinner honey?" I put on my best 'leave it to beaver' wife act. Gaara only lets out annoyed groan.

"Just go finish unpacking."

I go back to the couch giggling and continuing to pile the dishes in one area of the room, to be put in the kitchen later. Gaara's artistic hiatus didn't last long. Even without a manager, he managed to get work. Soon enough, he was offered a job as a graphic designer here in California. Of course he was worried about taking me away from my studies. I'm not giving up on them, deciding to take a hiatus of my own for a while. Once I checkout the community colleges here, I'll see if I want to go back to studying again. Before we took this big step together, Gaara had insisted on drafting a document similar to a prenuptial. Clearly outlining what is mine and what is his, and promising me some cash if we ever broke up; so I wouldn't be completely out on my ass. It was a sweet gesture, which only strengthened my resolve that something like that wouldn't happen. Of course like always Gara wasn't happy with that, and was grumbling on about it the entire time we were packing for our move here. So, I took it upon myself, to get a promise ring for him. A cheap 24 carat gold band; can't afford much. Gaara seemed to be annoyed by the whole scenario. I don't know why, I thought it was rather romantic that I got on my knee and proposed that he should propose to me.

Of course, my proposal was answered a day before we were ready to move out, with a ring. The ring is gold, with a two karat diamond in the middle nestled between two small amber stones. I don't wear the ring on my finger, but instead on a gold chain around my neck. Gaara however, does where the gold band on his ring finger. I'm glad; it'll keep the ladies away from him.

"This will be a great new start!" I say and pick up the plates and moved them into the kitchen. We are no longer in an apartment but rather a small two bedroom home. Of course, the second bedroom was converted into an art studio.

"Yeah," was Gaara's only reply but I can hear the underlying tone of happiness in his stoic voice.

* * *

That's it, I wouldn't be able to think of much more things that would happen in this story, but I hope I tied up any lose ends with the little Naruto finish. I didn't want to get into the whole Kankuro Gaara relationship thing because realistically it would take years for them to resolve everything. So the conflict between Gaara and his father was the only thing I worried about resolving.

I'm most defiantly dong a bonus chapter in Sasuke's point of view (thanks to a request from Lazeyfreeloader2673) that will give a little more insight on Naruto and Gaara after they settle into their new home in California.

**Thanks for reading everyone, and sticking with it, even through my ups and downs!**


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